To not tell partner about daughter's a&e attendance

[FedUp120028]

As the title says really.

D is an adult, he expects me to tell him if she attends but as per patient confidentiality, given she's an adult I should not. Only when NOK contact is necessary which is her mother should I contact a parent, otherwise it would breach confidentiality unless she explicitly tells me to.

How does he even know to ask?

If it's the OP's DD and she works in A&E, I can see why an ex might expect to be told by the other parent of things they would know as NOK.

However, it's still unreasonable even as a parent because this is an adult and being an A&E employee makes that even clearer - not only is it none of his business what his adult DD does, the OP's further constrained by the rules regarding patient confidentiality. Belt and braces; not only should she not disclose a related adult's medical information to a relative, she cannot disclose anybody's medical information to a relative.

In short, tell him to do one/ignore him/say 'oh, yes' and then not say a word as he won't know there's something he'd want her to tell/say you weren't there and couldn't access her details because she's a relative and the records are locked automatically (select the one that gives you the least issue).

Does she often go to a and e?

Actually, no.

It was just a question because he brought up.

Can I clarify, I'm not asking what I should do.

I'm asking because it came up in conversation and I said, I would not tell him so I wanted to show that I was right.

Thank you, I've given no identity factors at all 😊

Feel free to try and identify.

Yep yep yep

Jesus Christ I hope you get sacked

I'm starting to think this.

I said that patient confidentiality explicitly forbids me from informing you of her attendance.

His response - what's more important, my daughter or your job.

Well that isn't very nice.

I would not tell him if his daughter attended the emergency department.

Again, this is more to show him how right I am.

Why does he expect you to tell him anyway? Surely if his daughter wants him to know she would tell him?

Are they estranged?

If you breached her confidentiality 1)you could lose your job, 2)you should lose her job. If he cannot comprehend this, then I suspect he also can't get his head round things like consent, so I would consider this a red flag.

Honestly I guessed that but you should have put that in your OP

OP this sounds like it's just a hypothetical issue that has come up in conversation with your DP and not a real life situation that has actually happened. You are right. I wouldn't bother continuing to try and convince him!

Some responses here are fucking nutso.

Yeah sorry, I was a bit 'het' up by his mere suggestion that he had a right to know.

Tell him patient confidentiality is more important because he has zero rights here. That's a red flag that he doesn't get that.

He sounds like a real winner.🙄

Also I don't even tell my ex when our 16 year old goes to hospital because that's what he wants and I don't even work there children have a right to privacy

Yeah it's definitely hypothetical and it came up in conversation but he basically said if he found out I knew then we'd be over!

"he basically said if he found out I knew then we'd be over!"

We call that good riddance to bad rubbish.

Such a weird discussion to have in advance - did this come off on the off chance she has to attend A&E, decides it's confidential and doesn't want her dad to know and you're also on shift.

You say no substance abuse or MH issues. So why would he be predicting she turns up?
Also; there are probably only limited scenarios where you wouldn't want staff to contact your dad (esp given you mum is NOK so assuming she's not married etc)

So you're going to show him all these answers to prove you're right?

Well he sounds like a complete arse. His daughter is an adult and entitled to medical confidentiality.