He didn’t go to Tesco?

[purpleparroty]

I’ve been ill with the flu for the past few days and am in the worst of it, asked DH if he could pop to the shops and get some dinner in, and food for dc over the weekend, as we have nothing in and I thought he would stop at Tesco on his way home from work.

He decided to go to our village newsagents which sells no fresh food and spent 50 FUCKING QUID on crap. He got unbranded frozen ready meals which no one in our house would touch with a barge pole. The rest went on crisps / chocolate / ice cream / pot noodles. He didn’t even get bread (which they actually sell). Because i’ve not been happy about this he’s now gone in a mood and said he’s not bothering again. AIBU to be psised off he didn’t go to tesco and get real food the kids actually eat and not just chocolate and crisps. And now he’s moaning saying he didn’t know he wasn’t ‘allowed’ to go to the village shop and that i should have told him. I shouldn’t fucking have to tell people to use their brain.

For who? That doesn’t work with my personal circumstances. I can’t speak for the op, who’s obviously both working on a budget and has been very poorly. Shame she hasn’t got a very good husband to rely on to pick up the slack of checking what they need in the cupboards after a few days being out of action.

Traipsing around the kitchen cooking? Um no. If i was so ill I couldn't open a kitchen cupboard and type a short message what we had in i wouldn't be kicking off if my partner bought some ready meals and snacks for our kids. I'd leave him to it and go back to bed. At the end of the day if she's in bed and the kids won't eat the food he will have to deal with it. But seriously who has no food in at all, no store cupboard staples, nothing in the freezer etc after a couple days being ill?

But variety is the spice of life, happy to agree to disagree. Thought this was 'AIBU' , not 'if you don't agree with me you are wrong' 😆

For the op

I'm assuming that op has a spare fiver to buy staples, food banks weren't mentioned

‘Store cupboard staples’ is such a middle class Mumsnet mentality. In the real world many people are living shop to shop. And again, don’t know the OP’s personal circumstances. I know in my case, if I was down to my last few quid and it was spent on shit microwave meals, my kids wouldn’t eat for days. That’s not to say my kids eat organic vegetables every night, far from it - but a good parent knows what basics to get in to suit their needs.

I grew up poor which is exactly why my parents kept store cupboard staples in. There is nothing middle class about cheap basics in the cupboards. I'm talking about lentils, pasta, rice and such like. I'm not going to sit and speculate about the ops personal circumstances. Based on the information given, I don't think ready meals for a couple of meals is a crime and I stand by it. If the OP wanted specific things they could've said so and avoided this situation. That's my opinion, yours is different and that's fine.

Agree, its because i grew up poor i am such a fan of said staples !

What he should have done, without being asked, was think up a few lunches and dinners, put in anything else the house is low in, added what's needed to treat your flu and asked you if there's anything in particular you'd like. Then gone to the supermarket, bought it, come home and put it away, get you a lemsip/ cup of tea, told you what he was making for tea and asked if you fancied any or wanted something else. Then gone and made it, cleared up and sorted the kids out. And he shouldn't be expecting a medal for doing that either. That's just what he should be doing. You're totally NBU, in fact, anything less than the above is unreasonable for a spouse and parent when the other is ill.

Out of curiosity, I asked DS who is 8 what food he would buy for 2 days worth of meals. He immediately reeled off crepes for breakfast, toasties for lunch and for tea chicken wraps and tacos. He named each individual ingredient he would need. It really shouldn’t be that hard for a grown man to figure out what to feed his children for 2 days without being given a shopping list.

Well you should have wrote a list for him and headed it TESCO if you know he's useless.
Maybe, he thought as you are ill, ready meals would be better save you cooking, (and much easier if you told him to cook) and chocolates and crisps for treats.
Could be that's how his mind was thinking.

Bread doesn't last for a week unless it is very processed regardless of whether it has been in the fridge.

Ready meals to save her cooking?! For goodness sake! He should be able to shop and cook nutritious food for his children and for his ill wife. He if cared then he would. He doesn't actually care. How disappointing.

You’ve completely missed the point about food banks.

Agree weaponised incompetence.
My exDH would make such a hash of things I wouldn’t ask him again.
He went shopping and bought 1 pizza and no real food for the week. Sweets fizzy drinks and crisps. I was so angry.
understand your frustrations.

Actually you could do a couple of days for £20 couldn't you? Don't know how on earth he spent £50!

I think I know the sort of shop OP is talking about, one freezer unit with pull up lid, Mr Kipling cakes, biscuits, tinned stuff, bread + milk + eggs, cursory hygiene section with toothbrush, cotton wool, shaving, pads, toothpaste, shower gel. And crisps + chocolate of course :)

This thread has to have been invaded because if this is how low the bar is for men now, I pity the young men and women coming up after us because they're watching and learning.

Well said.

But why did he go and buy crap when that's not normal for the household?
Why didn't he stick to the normal family standards? He's bought some ready meals no one will eat. How is that anything other than stupid?

Agree.
I would be absolutely furious at such stupidity.
How men behave while you are ill tells you who they are.

Op's is a useless lump of a shit husband and father.
Ugh.

My god how low is your bar for men! She should have written him a list, because heaven forbid a man should have to use his brain.
And he got ready meals to save HER from cooking, because again let's not expect a man to cook a meal for his children.

Either you are a completely useless man or a woman surrounded by incompetent idiots for men.

I’m just checking in to see if the op and her kids survived the night xxx

Stop treating men like incapable, little boys. You've created a huge problem for wives and mothers today. I'm saying this as a mother of 2 boys!

What? No he didn't! That's exactly her point. He went to a the corner shop and bought snacks that would be fine fir a Friday night bender. But nothing to do w food for the kids and family for s weekend! It shows that he's never had to do an actual food shop before.

Exactly! Just no real care or thoughtfulness to do a good job of her request.
She’s ill so their usual standard must slip 🤔

Really ?
We buy wholemeal seeded and it lasts in our fridge, we’ve been doing it for years
No idea about white in the fridge although we do freeze white rolls for lunches.

Decided to Google it 😆
store bought bread lasts 7-14 days in the fridge and all breads last several months in the freezer ….