He didn’t go to Tesco?

[purpleparroty]

I’ve been ill with the flu for the past few days and am in the worst of it, asked DH if he could pop to the shops and get some dinner in, and food for dc over the weekend, as we have nothing in and I thought he would stop at Tesco on his way home from work.

He decided to go to our village newsagents which sells no fresh food and spent 50 FUCKING QUID on crap. He got unbranded frozen ready meals which no one in our house would touch with a barge pole. The rest went on crisps / chocolate / ice cream / pot noodles. He didn’t even get bread (which they actually sell). Because i’ve not been happy about this he’s now gone in a mood and said he’s not bothering again. AIBU to be psised off he didn’t go to tesco and get real food the kids actually eat and not just chocolate and crisps. And now he’s moaning saying he didn’t know he wasn’t ‘allowed’ to go to the village shop and that i should have told him. I shouldn’t fucking have to tell people to use their brain.

But if you had to buy stuff to last a family with kids a few days…I’m pretty sure you’d manage wouldn’t you? And if the ‘bloke’ was ill, you’d step up without needing a list…or even being asked?

Is he always such a crap husband OP?

Your overgrown manchild needs to be doing the food planning and shopping and cooking for a while.

If he used to do the shopping with you, he knows what to do and get, he just didn't feel like it. He's fine with his kids eating potato chips (crisps?) for dinner and having a tantrum when you call him on his lazy bullshit. That's a pretty shocking abdication of parenting there.

Stop cooking for him. Have a bag of chips ready to toss his feral way when he gets hungry. He needs consequences for his utter failure at parenting here.

A ten year old could do better than he did. He can't even feed his kids. Disgusting.

This is such waffle.

The reason he did it is he's lazy and incompetent.

You're painting a real picture of a true prince though. Desperate to get home and watch telly, not look after his family and his sick wife?

Mumsnet never fails to have me thanking my lucky stars that my husband is capable of having a shite in a supermarket toilet, getting a decent shop in, then coming home to look after his family.

The bar is so bloody low on this site.

Do people still do the division of labour thing when one of you is ill? How does that work? Kids still need feeding and their laundry done.

Exactly. The house still needs to operate, there are plenty of things that dh normally does around the house that I will naturally step in to do when he is away. He doesn’t need to leave a list, or instructions or whatever. And vice versa.

It explains why someone isn’t particularly competent at a task they don’t normally do.

Why are you resorting to insulting her intelligence?
It’s not a case of her “not understanding” how Tesco or the oven works.
It’s a case of cooking and food planning not being something she enjoys doing and for the sake of one weekend, she’d opt to just eat convenience food until all was back to normal.
I don’t do anything in regard to my car. If it broke down while my husband was a bit ill, I’d just wait for him to get better and sort it for me and I’d use public transport. Not because I’m incompetent, just because it’s something I hate doing and would rather just not bother if it’s only for a few days.

@BIossomtoes

It's buying food, Jesus Christ

@purpleparroty ok you are still ill so let him get the dinner and lunch for the kids. see how he manages with crap in the cupboards and freezer!

Has he ever done the family shopping before now?

Sounds like he hasn't...

They do eat though presumably? In this context. They are used to eating meals at home, with the other people who are normally fed at home, and either cooking for them or at least seeing what sort of food is eaten.

And presumably even if they have someone else doing it all for them now, they have, at some point, shopped and cooked for themselves?

@Yourethebeerthief i didn’t once say he wasn’t a lazy incompetent idiot. I didn’t defend or excuse him one bit. The point I’m making is, it doesn’t really need to be analysed and mulled over does it? Hardly the crime of the century either though. Just a very mundane everyday thing.

I honestly can't believe some of these replies on here

He knows Friday is top up day for fresh bits.

Instead he spent £50 on crisps, chocolate, snacks, pot noodles and some frozen meals from a corner shop who notoriously are c20% mark up vs supermarkets

He didn't get the milk or bread that was actually required or any of the fresh bits. Sounds like they can't afford to be spending £50 on crap!

So far responses have ranged from 'he tried' to 'it's obviously not his forte'

I'm sorry but how fucking hard is it to get a few basics in that will do breakfasts, lunches and a couple of dinners?

Those posters arguing double standards and if it was mum then she'd be told to take it easy and get something easy in....I agree, but I also suspect from his strop that the OP usually does everything and DH has done bare minimum while she's been in bed.

I say this as someone who has been in hospital this week and DH has managed world book day, home work, laundry etc and I've come home to a full fridge and a home cooked meal. Same as I would if he had been in hospital

He bought food. 🤷‍♀️

@TENSsion

Buying some food and fixing a broken car are not the same thing.

The OP's example also impacts the whole family as they now only have crisps and chocolate that anyone will eat.

Not everyone can fix a car and if you were desperate you'd get it to a garage. Everyone should be able to buy some basic nutritious food for their spouse and children.

It's literally going into a shop and buying nutritious (and cheaper!) food. That's all that's expected of him.

Do you think he bought the kind of food they usually eat? Doesn’t sound like it.

He bought overpriced crap. Lots of it. That the rest of the family don’t eat. Slow clap.

Loving the 'order a takeaway/ ubereats/Tesco delivery' like everyone has more money after blowing £50 on junk. 🤔
I'd just make sure he puts it in front of kids and deals with any complaints. 'No, Tom, there's no dinner tonight, only a bag of cheese and onion crisps speak to your father'

I don't get the people defending him. He couldn't be arsed to go to a supermarket so bought expensive processed crap from a local shop. Why does he get to slack off, it's a small task he should be capable of doing it properly.

If this is a serious comment, it's shocking what some woman will put up with. "Poor bloke" my arse. The fact you don't see the problem just let's us all know you expect nothing from men and fathers. That's how they get away with it, there will always be a mug of a woman willing to accept crumbs.

Surely just order enough food online, including fresh veg, but pasta and jar of sauce would also suffice

That's not how Mumsnet works. Everyone is chatting about it and OP wants opinions.

My opinion, and many other poster's too, is that it's likely part of a bigger picture. I don't know any grown men who can't manage to get decent food in for their family or pick up the household slack for their family. They also don't sulk when called out for wasting so much money on utter junk.

I'm not saying stick him in stocks and parade him round town, I'm saying he's a total bellend and posters defending his shitty attempt at "helping" have set the bar very low for men.

First world problems ey !

He bought junk food. Big difference.

Those chips are a side snack, not a meal. What's he going to do when the kids are hungry in an hour? It sounds like he spent their budget on crap.

I broke my ankle and was stuck on the couch for 8 weeks then struggling about in a moon boot yet my dh was perfectly capable of going to the supermarket and feeding us all. Yes sometimes both me and him will grab a ready meal instead of cooking something.

Your dh seems like a little boy let loose with his first pocket money.