To cut off homophobic friends?

[WitheringHeights8]

I experienced homophobia from a close friend, and I stood up for myself.

She told me she doesn't believe in LGBTQ, and that it shouldn't be taught in schools. She was really aggressive in her opinion, and insinuated that teaching children about diversity in relationships was tantamount to abuse.

I've since blocked her after this, but I miss the friendship. It's been extremely hard as we were close. I almost want to reach out and say, ok, you've attacked my identity, but I still want to keep contact.

I feel harsh, but I can't see how this is compatible with my life.

She told me she doesn't believe in LGBTQ

What does she mean by that exactly?

She's a homopbe.

It’s painful when a friend shows themselves to be completely at odds with your own world view. It is fine, natural, to mourn the friendship but it doesn’t sound as though there is a way of salvaging it.

Teaching tolerance in schools is fine and should be done; Forcing children to use language which goes against science, just so you don't offend anyone however is going too far.

If you are transgender, i'd use your correct pronouns out of respect, but teaching children that a male can become a female or vice versa is just incorrect and is borderline language control and manipulation and or indoctrination.

I have no problem that the LGBTQ crowd exists.
I have a problem with the government and society controlling what I can believe and how I should speak.

Then you have your answer. Why would you want to stay friends with her?

This.

Perhaps there’s more nuance to her opinion. It depends what she actually said.

I agree. It's just I'm lonely and not very sure of myself.

Then you need to go and find yourself people who think more like you and respect you who could become your friends.

The person you are talking about is no friend.

Surely if she was a close friend she would already know how you 'identify?'

What's this got to do with the OP's title about homophobia?

For clarity- I'm not transgender. Although I have beeb misgendered before. It's about accepting of others experiences. I know how less alone I'd have felt if it was included in the curriculum.

LGBTQ is not an agenda. We've always existed and always will.

She told me she doesn't believe in LGBTQ

She's an idiot and like many people at the moment she is confusing LGBTQ with the hysteria over trans issues.

Two completely different issues. Concerns teaching of trans ideology in schools and issues over gender self ID etc are legitimate (although overdone in my view)... but they have no bearing on the existence or otherwise of people who are same sex attracted....

This is what happens when stupid people believe screamingly hysterical and heavily polarised politics on social media. I'm looking at you, Elon Musk.

Block her and find friends whose lips don't move when they read...

Not sure of making the decision to end the friendship @WitheringHeights8? Or generally?

Being lonely is hard and I’m genuinely sorry you’re feeling it. But remember that actually - this is a show of personal strength on your part. You could quite easily have said nothing when this friend said something that went against your principles, to keep the friendship. You didn’t do that, and good for you, because not speaking up would have left you feeling far worse.

What do you mean by 'you've attacked my identity'?

So she knows you are gay or bi and still said those things?

If yes, she is not your friend.

I have no issue with LGB being referenced in school in the context of some relationships being with members of the same sex.

Anything above and beyond that, particularly the "TQ" which is in no way related to the LGB, I do not think should be taught in schools.

Facts only, and not ideology.

For context - I am a lesbian.

She sounds like no friend.

I am straight but seem to spend a lot of time calling out bigotry and homophobia. I have gay and transgender friends. I have friends from minority ethnic groups. I won't stand in silence and see them slandered, belittled and insulted.

She told me she doesn't believe in LGBTQ

She sounds as thick as shit. It's like saying she doesn't believe there's a sky above us 😳

If you're lonely, what have you done so far to try and make friends?

The fact that her friend said that she doesn't believe LGBTQ should be taught in school?

I relied on her too much. I'm lucky in that I have close friends who support me.

For context, it was a 12 step programme I met her in. Very cliquey and gaslighting and bigotry is rampant.

Doesn’t sound like it was a healthy friendship and you’re best off without. Find another friend. Even if your friend had those opinions, if you were close she would have known voicing them in that way would hurt you so I don’t think that’s the sort of friend you really want or need?
We can of course have different opinions to our friends but some things are basic values and I don’t think we can really have different values to close friends.
I could discuss how diversity is taught in schools with my friends and expect to have a range of opinions (some think it’s confusing children, some think it’s great, some will think it’s just over done, swung too far one way, some that it’s fostered amazing acceptance of all differences etc..) but to fundamentally ‘not believe in’ something that is important to you is too big a point of difference in values to get over I think.

YANBU. I simply couldn't be doing with people who refuse to acknowledge homosexuality or who would refuse to deal with or be rude to friends and relatives who are gay.

Personally I think it shouldn’t be taught in schools until children are a lot older. I think being taught that you can be homosexual is fine but I think there are too many alternatives that are very confusing to children at an impressionable age. I don’t want my child to worry about who they are before they need to!

I don’t think it makes your friend homophobic..

Out of curiosity what do you dislike about the Q component? Genuine question, not being goady.

So teaching kids about the fairytale of Prince charming and his princess is OK? They are taught that heterosexual relationships are normal.

It's not about teaching kids a homosexual agenda, it's about diversity.

I knew I was gay since I was about 5. What a difference it would've made if I knew it was ok.