To cut off homophobic friends?

[WitheringHeights8]

I experienced homophobia from a close friend, and I stood up for myself.

She told me she doesn't believe in LGBTQ, and that it shouldn't be taught in schools. She was really aggressive in her opinion, and insinuated that teaching children about diversity in relationships was tantamount to abuse.

I've since blocked her after this, but I miss the friendship. It's been extremely hard as we were close. I almost want to reach out and say, ok, you've attacked my identity, but I still want to keep contact.

I feel harsh, but I can't see how this is compatible with my life.

But to suggest that trans people face anything close to the persecution of Jewish, disabled or gay people in history is outrageous.

Are we engaging in persecution top trumps here? Is there a level of "other-ing" we have to let a group get to before we do something about it?

Transgender people have been treated exactly the same way historically, it's only that now they have come out and asked to be seen that we notice it, and they are doing so in somewhat more enlightened times which means they have more support from society than, say, gay people did.

It's like hitching pregnancy or disability to the LBG.
I don't disagree that lumping everyone under the same banner has been problematic. The same way we do with disabled people or using "BAME" as a catch all. It shouldn't happen.

"Transgender people have been treated exactly the same way historically"

No, they really haven't.

Radical idea… let trans people be the experts on their identities and whether they are valid or not.

LGBs were pathologised and not “believed in” for years, and this is now the case for trans people.

I suspect most gender critical people don’t know any trans people in real life.

It’s an objective, provable fact that someone is same sex attracted,

I believe that people with gender dysphoria exist. I don’t believe they’re the opposite sex because they’re not.

Attraction is just as subjective as gender identity.

To compare how Jewish people have been treated throughout history to people rightly questioning elements of trans ideology is so enormously reductive, it is actually difficult to believe you are being serious.

It's the "rightly questioning" part that is key here.

People "rightly questioned" all of these groups, in ways we would deem ridiculous with the knowledge we have today. It still happens.

Falling for the political dog whistles and not understanding the reasons this is problematic is how a society sleepwalks into fascism. If it weren't trans people, it would be something else. Calling that reductive and deciding someone isn't serious shows how few people paid attention in history class.

Questioning giving puberty blockers to children is something that many trans people themselves do, the repercussions are massive and lifelong.

Questioning the lack of insight into why ND people are far more likely to identify as trans than NT people is something that should be questioned. And many detransitioned people are asking that question, after having their health ruined. After not receiving the support they actually needed.

Are you really saying it is incorrect to question these things? Are you so lacking in critical thinking skills?

100 should be questioned

ND people are also more likely to identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or asexual - and quite rightly nobody suggests this is a problem.

The University of Cambridge looks into this…

https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/autistic-individuals-are-more-likely-to-be-lgbtq

Don’t patronise Autistic people by sting they don’t know their own experiences.

Oh, I do.

On the male front -

One told me to consider his penis to be a “disability, like a cleft palate” and that he was a lesbian.

Another one fraudulently talked his way into a rape crisis centre and turned it in to an utter shitshow.

Another one has detransitioned, is hugely depressed and refers to himself as an autistic
eunuch, and says he should never have been sold a lie when he was so vulnerable to suggestion.

Then there have been the once young lesbians hopped up on testosterone and cultivating their facial hair while having the tiniest dantiest hands I’ve ever seen. That one is a real uncanny valley moment and everybody can see it. I feel really horrifically sad for them as their lives post “euphoria” are so utterly troubled once they realise that lesbians are sexually attracted to women, heterosexual women are sexually attracted to males, and 5 foot men aren’t as lauded anywhere near the internet levels when faced with the offline world, and they talk about how lonely they are.

I despise the ideology that did this to the vulnerable.
The predators within it can get in the sea.

Radical idea, if somebody tells you to believe something, you don’t have to. Particularly if it directly contradicts material reality.

Gay lesbian and bisexual are sexual orientations.
You can’t “identify” as gay, you either are or you aren’t.
Homosexuality is not an outfit. You can’t put it on like a damned hat.

I would question anybody who “identified as a lesbian” because if we’re on the subject of dog whistles, if you have to “identify as” something then you probably aren’t.

Your point is a semantic one. Here you go: Autistic people are more likely to BE lesbian, gay or bisexual, as well as trans.

Nonetheless, I would still disagree with you…men who have sex with men may or may not identify as gay…they may identify as bi, or not… there are elements of “identifying” ourselves with regard to sexual orientation. I’m sure you will disagree but I wouldn’t want another person saying what my sexual orientation is…for many people it can be nuanced…

Who you find attractive is subjective but someone’s sexual orientation is a measurable, objective fact. Just like their biological sex.

Please explain to me the science of sexual orientation.

Men who had sex with men would be homosexual if they did it exclusively or bisexual if they were also attracted to women.

There’s still no “identifying” about it regardless of how many times you rephrase to include it and there is no nuance significant enough to overwrite or overrule the three orientations.

It makes absolute sense for there to be a higher percentage of LGB individuals with autism. There’s a lot of freedom in not feeling or understanding the need to conform, and not having the temptation to “fit in” with societal demands á la comp het.

It also makes absolute sense for people with autism to find themselves not feeling an affinity with their sex, or feeling that they don’t “belong” with their peers because gender “expectations” are absolute bullshit really.
The risk there is not (yet, for younger people) understanding that feeling different and disengaged from them doesn’t mean you’re not a member of your sex class.

It’s actually remarkably simple to think “I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to, does this mean I’m..” when dealing with spectrum features.

It’s not the aha you seem to think it is.

And it’s not the crisis you claim it to be, when only 0.05 percent of 13 to 17 year olds in the UK are referred to GIDS.

Where have I “claimed” that anything is a crisis?
Please provide quote for reference.

Her comments were hurtful, my children are aware that love is love, some children have 2 mummy's or 2 daddies etc, nothing to see here, however I do disagree with schools taking it to extremes, there's no need to teach children that some people born in the wrong body, taught this can be fixed, encouraged and supported, through gebder transition, especially as it impacts DC on the spectrum more than NT teenagers.

@Verv 👏 My teenage daughter attends a SE School, there is a lot of gender confusion there.

Gender confusion isn’t the same as being trans.

In my experience, when it comes to young people, ND or otherwise, it’s usually part of a journey of deconstructing gender norms and expectations, with the majority not identifying as trans.

Experimenting with pronouns is no big deal.

Expecting others to use the wrong ones, especially when you're not there, is a big deal though.

Exactly 💯

Gender confusion isn’t the same as being trans

Because SN teenagers are confused, the girls use boys names, cut hair off, their parents aren't fully aware as it is between the groups, My daughter was Sam for 2 years.

Some of us parents we have discussed it and decided to ignore it and hopefully they won't suggest lobbing their tits off, thankfully she is back using her own name.

My daughter has 3 friends born female, who use boys names, wear mullet cuts, dark clothing. 2 others who use non binary pronouns. All misfits on tne spectrum, easy convinced they're odd because they're in the wrong body.

The boys are mostly non binary, some use female names, wear makeup, skirts something that would be very rare in the local mainstream school in working class area.