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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

California not Sussex

451 replies

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:28

I was born and grew up on the Surrey Sussex border. My brother currently lives in Sussex, my mum spent her retirement in Sussex, my grandparents lived in Sussex their whole lives, I had Saturday and holiday jobs in Sussex, my friends at school lived in Sussex.

I do not like or agree with Ms Markle having the 'Duchess of Sussex' title. She has spent all of 6 hours of her entire life here. She doesn't represent or care about me and the rest of the population of Sussex. She doesn't even like the UK. She will probably never set foot in the UK again, she hates our royal family and our country.

I cant really do much about the title being given to her. But now she wants people to refer to her as 'Meghan Sussex' according to her new netflix show.

Why?????

Why Meghan do you want you and your family to have a surname of a place you have barely ever been to, know nothing about, and which is located in a country you dislike and will never return to?

Can't you call yourself Meghan California instead? You can call yourself anything informally, and if you want to change your name formally, there is probably a way that you and Harry and the kids could adopt 'California' as your new surname.

Why oh why take/steal our home county as your new name. I get the 'duchess of Sussex' title is given to you, but you don't need to use it, and you definitely don't need to call yourself 'Meghan Sussex'.

(Some of) The people of Sussex do not want you to have our name

If you want our name then come visit. Spend time here. Visit the locals, buy OUR jam, invest in OUR schools, donate money to local charities, show interest in the place you have adopted as yours. Visit us regularly. Learn about the culture, the people, the place.

AIBU for thinking Meghan should make the effort to get to know Sussex if she now wants to be called 'Meghan Sussex'? If she doesn't want anything to do with us and will never come here again, she shouldn't call herself 'Meghan Sussex'.

OP posts:
coolkatt · 06/03/2025 14:41

Get a life. Maybe watch her show, get some tips how to be a nice person

PinkArt · 06/03/2025 14:41

Snoken · 06/03/2025 14:37

It's even worse than that, OP doesn't even live in Sussex and she never has, she lives in Surrey. She still thinks she should have a say in who can have the surname for some reason.

Ah fucking hell I missed that amidst all the hate. Well I grew up in East Sussex so I guess I get a vote in this lunacy then and the OP doesn't!

Sayitagainmyl · 06/03/2025 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This 💯. But you need to add ‘corroded by envy and jealousy’.

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 14:43

Eh?

I said I was born and grew up on the Surrey Sussex border because I couldn't be bothered to explain my full story.

I was born in surrey, then spent my childhood between Surrey (living at my dad's), Sussex (living at my grandparents) and in Asia (living with my mum who is Portuguese, long story)... But mainly with my grandparents

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 06/03/2025 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ZookeeperSE · 06/03/2025 14:45

BarneyRonson · 06/03/2025 14:17

It’s appropriation that offends the indigenous population. yANBU

The Ancient Celtic Britons are offended by appropriation? How can you tell?

Snorlaxo · 06/03/2025 14:45

You’re being silly.
Loads of people have a place name as their name (first and surname) and aren’t interested in that place. For example Paris Hilton has a daughter called London and the name Harlow pops up on baby names sometimes with people unbothered about what Harlow (Essex) is like.

Using the titles is pure hypocrisy but this goes for Harry too. It is baffling that they wanted titles for the kids (obviously not the kids faults that their parents made that decision ) considering their attempt to take down their British side of the family and there being precendent of parents (the Wessexes) deciding to leave the title decision to their kids.

HRTQueen · 06/03/2025 14:45

I absolutely agree op

I mean The Princess of Wales has so embodied welsh culture that I believe she has morphed into Nessa

ARichtGoodDram · 06/03/2025 14:46

Vegemite123 · 06/03/2025 13:56

I thought her/their surname was Mountbatten-Windsor?

Titled royals technically don't have surnames. Their children tend to use their parents title as surnames when needed - William and Harry used wales at school and in the military.

whathaveiforgotten · 06/03/2025 14:46

whathaveiforgotten · 06/03/2025 14:30

If she did experience racism that's awful. But I have my doubts

Just going back to this statement OP. It's bonkers.

"If" she did experience racism?

Even if you don't think there was a racist foundation to much of the media coverage around her at certain points, you're suggesting she might not have experienced racism at all?

I mean... that's crazy. There were countless social media posts from people being openly racist about her. And even if there hadn't been, she is a mixed race woman. I don't know a single mixed race or black woman who has never experienced racism, let alone a famous mixed race or black woman.

It's really, really odd to have said you 'have your doubts' that she experienced racism at all.

Interested in your thoughts on this OP. Saying you 'doubt' that a mixed race woman has experienced racism is surprising for anyone to say, let alone someone who claims to have worked with marginalised communities.

Horrace · 06/03/2025 14:46

Cos she's a massive wanker

Careertimenow · 06/03/2025 14:47

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:43

I might try it as an experiment.

If she supports those businesses quietly and doesn't either ignore the letter or spread her good deeds all over social media, then I will admit to being wrong about her

I feel deeply sorry for anyone struggling with mental health difficulties and suicidal ideation. However, a lot of Meghan's statements have been proven to be lies and I'm not confident she was being entirely truthful in the comments she made about suicide. I don't think there was racism towards her either. She's just not a nice person, her skin colour makes no difference and should not be an excuse for her behaviour. If she did experience suicidal ideation then that's sad. If she did experience racism that's awful. But I have my doubts

I had no idea you knew so much about her. The press was made for people like you who buy into it. They do print what the people wants to read after all. Piers Morgan is also a liar but he's ok isn't he.

InterIgnis · 06/03/2025 14:48

The amount of heads this woman is living rent free in 😭😂

MellowCritic · 06/03/2025 14:48

Completelyjo · 06/03/2025 13:32

You sound pretty unhinged really.
No one cares about Sussex, Megan or otherwise.

Well that's not true. Ppl do care hence why she's always being talked about. The woman can't so much as breath without ppl unpicking and pulling her apart.

whathaveiforgotten · 06/03/2025 14:49

InterIgnis · 06/03/2025 14:48

The amount of heads this woman is living rent free in 😭😂

Edited

Baffling isn't it! I can't imagine caring so deeply about the behaviour of a complete stranger, let alone one they apparently don't even like!

bettydavieseyes · 06/03/2025 14:50

I married a Pole and have a polish surname. I have never been to Poland (fear of flying, autistic kids etc).

Careertimenow · 06/03/2025 14:50

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 14:33

Exactly

"Her attitude to the UK" and you agree with that staement? Ignorance is bliss.

VisitationRights · 06/03/2025 14:51

It’s tough shit for you; you’ll need to learn to cope.

Careertimenow · 06/03/2025 14:51

bettydavieseyes · 06/03/2025 14:50

I married a Pole and have a polish surname. I have never been to Poland (fear of flying, autistic kids etc).

According to the op you must not like polish people only their men?

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 14:52

VisitationRights · 06/03/2025 14:51

It’s tough shit for you; you’ll need to learn to cope.

I know! I shall invest in a bottle.of.wine and some chocolate! See if that does the trick!

OP posts:
Sayitagainmyl · 06/03/2025 14:53

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 14:52

I know! I shall invest in a bottle.of.wine and some chocolate! See if that does the trick!

I don't even think Prozac would help you.

keyboardtypo · 06/03/2025 14:54

So anyone who takes their husband's name isn't a feminist?

bettydavieseyes · 06/03/2025 14:55

Careertimenow · 06/03/2025 14:51

According to the op you must not like polish people only their men?

She's a woman but yes exactly!

3peassuit · 06/03/2025 14:55

I don’t mind about the Sussex thing but I’m a bit surprised that a woman who considers herself a feminist role model makes such a big thing about taking her husband’s name.

Careertimenow · 06/03/2025 14:56

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 14:06

She did a horrible curtsey thing in front of the world which was a direct piss take of the queen and our country's traditions. That was her. I saw it. No excuses. She was rude and disrespectful.

Do you think she should feel privileged because of who she is?

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