Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

California not Sussex

451 replies

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:28

I was born and grew up on the Surrey Sussex border. My brother currently lives in Sussex, my mum spent her retirement in Sussex, my grandparents lived in Sussex their whole lives, I had Saturday and holiday jobs in Sussex, my friends at school lived in Sussex.

I do not like or agree with Ms Markle having the 'Duchess of Sussex' title. She has spent all of 6 hours of her entire life here. She doesn't represent or care about me and the rest of the population of Sussex. She doesn't even like the UK. She will probably never set foot in the UK again, she hates our royal family and our country.

I cant really do much about the title being given to her. But now she wants people to refer to her as 'Meghan Sussex' according to her new netflix show.

Why?????

Why Meghan do you want you and your family to have a surname of a place you have barely ever been to, know nothing about, and which is located in a country you dislike and will never return to?

Can't you call yourself Meghan California instead? You can call yourself anything informally, and if you want to change your name formally, there is probably a way that you and Harry and the kids could adopt 'California' as your new surname.

Why oh why take/steal our home county as your new name. I get the 'duchess of Sussex' title is given to you, but you don't need to use it, and you definitely don't need to call yourself 'Meghan Sussex'.

(Some of) The people of Sussex do not want you to have our name

If you want our name then come visit. Spend time here. Visit the locals, buy OUR jam, invest in OUR schools, donate money to local charities, show interest in the place you have adopted as yours. Visit us regularly. Learn about the culture, the people, the place.

AIBU for thinking Meghan should make the effort to get to know Sussex if she now wants to be called 'Meghan Sussex'? If she doesn't want anything to do with us and will never come here again, she shouldn't call herself 'Meghan Sussex'.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 06/03/2025 13:41

She said she wants the same surname as her children.
Would you prefer she be Meghan Mountbatten -Windsor (the children's original surname)?

Coffeeishot · 06/03/2025 13:43

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:36

It matters to me because I like Sussex! And I like the UK (usually 🙂) and it pisses me off that someone who hates us, who has buggered off and stuck two fingers up the queen and royal traditions, has declared to the world how much the name 'sussex' means to her. I mean, wtf?

It's her husbands title she has taken her husbands "given surname" you are being goady and ridiculous you will be saying next she stoleyour precious Harry.

brettsalanger · 06/03/2025 13:43

Scraping the barrel with the Meghan hate today!

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:43

I might try it as an experiment.

If she supports those businesses quietly and doesn't either ignore the letter or spread her good deeds all over social media, then I will admit to being wrong about her

I feel deeply sorry for anyone struggling with mental health difficulties and suicidal ideation. However, a lot of Meghan's statements have been proven to be lies and I'm not confident she was being entirely truthful in the comments she made about suicide. I don't think there was racism towards her either. She's just not a nice person, her skin colour makes no difference and should not be an excuse for her behaviour. If she did experience suicidal ideation then that's sad. If she did experience racism that's awful. But I have my doubts

OP posts:
KitsyWitsy · 06/03/2025 13:45

I get you OP. It's galling because she doesn't give a fuck about the UK at all, never mind Sussex. I lived in Sussex myself for a time, not that it matters. Even if I had passed through once I would be more familiar with it than her!

Just her going on about it as her name. She's deranged. Fascinating and deranged.

DaveyTheCavy · 06/03/2025 13:46

floopsycat · 06/03/2025 13:32

What is Sussex culture? I'm from there and can't think of many distinguishing features from the rest of the south England counties.

Agree, the only one of those southern counties I can think of is Surrey, where they call their kids weird names like Balonz.

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:46

RhiWrites · 06/03/2025 13:40

She was the target of racial abuse that made her suicidal. She doesn’t hate the UK, the Queen (any Queen) or fucking Sussex. But she was made to feel so unwelcome she couldn’t bear to stay here.

Maybe instead of writing hateful posts and “why oh why oh why” moaning you could write to her and suggest some great Sussex businesses she might like to support. She might actually do it. If you’re nice to her instead of whatever this is.

Sorry I forgot to quote the message on my reply:

I might try it as an experiment.

If she supports those businesses quietly and doesn't either ignore the letter or spread her good deeds all over social media, then I will admit to being wrong about her

I feel deeply sorry for anyone struggling with mental health difficulties and suicidal ideation. However, a lot of Meghan's statements have been proven to be lies and I'm not confident she was being entirely truthful in the comments she made about suicide. I don't think there was racism towards her either. She's just not a nice person, her skin colour makes no difference and should not be an excuse for her behaviour. If she did experience suicidal ideation then that's sad. If she did experience racism that's awful. But I have my doubts

OP posts:
Haveanaiceday · 06/03/2025 13:47

I'm from Sussex and it doesn't bother me.

Anonym00se · 06/03/2025 13:47

Well nobody bestowed a title on David Essex, he just took it as his own. I’m from Basildon and David Essex does not represent me!!!

Regretsmorethanafew · 06/03/2025 13:47

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:43

I might try it as an experiment.

If she supports those businesses quietly and doesn't either ignore the letter or spread her good deeds all over social media, then I will admit to being wrong about her

I feel deeply sorry for anyone struggling with mental health difficulties and suicidal ideation. However, a lot of Meghan's statements have been proven to be lies and I'm not confident she was being entirely truthful in the comments she made about suicide. I don't think there was racism towards her either. She's just not a nice person, her skin colour makes no difference and should not be an excuse for her behaviour. If she did experience suicidal ideation then that's sad. If she did experience racism that's awful. But I have my doubts

If you don't think the likes of the daily mails immediate and ongoing hatred of her was fuelled by racism, you're an idiot.

steff13 · 06/03/2025 13:48

I couldn't care less about what she calls herself. But, I did see a clip from her new Netflix show where Mindy Kaling called her "Meghan Markle" and she was so snide-y when she corrected her. Should could have just said, "oh, actually it's Sussex now."

A lot of us (Americans) don't understand how last names work when you have a title like that. I thought Harry's last name was "Windsor." 🤷‍♀️ It was probably an honest mistake on Mindy's part. And to be fair, she's a B-celebrity here at best, so it's not a though she's all over the news all the time. It's understandable the people might have missed the change

The official website for the show has her listed as Meghan Markle, and that still seems to be the name she uses professionally.

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:48

Anonym00se · 06/03/2025 13:47

Well nobody bestowed a title on David Essex, he just took it as his own. I’m from Basildon and David Essex does not represent me!!!

At least he hasn't taken the piss out of the queen on national media, declared he doesn't like the UK and buggered off to diss the country to the world, and I bet he's been to Essex for more than 6 hours!

OP posts:
bostonchamps · 06/03/2025 13:50

My surname is also the name of a county. I've never been to that county, let alone lived there, worked there, bought a coffee in a local cafe for local people etc etc

Does this also apply to me? Should I fear your wrath?

kittensinthekitchen · 06/03/2025 13:50

Can you and your fruit-loop friends not keep to the many many anti-Meghan threads you've already started?
You don't like her. We get it. It's nothing to do with her skin colour, allegedly.

tropicalroses · 06/03/2025 13:50

I dont think she cares about California either, so by your logic she should be Meghan Meghan

HaddyAbrams · 06/03/2025 13:50

CostcoBuns · 06/03/2025 13:31

I don't have an opinion on this (or Meghan) but my surname is a UK town that I have never visited. Isn't this just how names evolve?

Mine too. Maybe I'll write to the population of that town and check they're OK with it!

Coffeeishot · 06/03/2025 13:51

Anonym00se · 06/03/2025 13:47

Well nobody bestowed a title on David Essex, he just took it as his own. I’m from Basildon and David Essex does not represent me!!!

What Sir David of Essex how disrespectful 😂

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:51

Regretsmorethanafew · 06/03/2025 13:47

If you don't think the likes of the daily mails immediate and ongoing hatred of her was fuelled by racism, you're an idiot.

I really don't.

I am quite vocal on racism normally and always call it out. But Meghan just seems not nice. Nothing to do with her skin colour.

When megs and harry were getting married the whole of the UK was behind them, including the papers and including the tabloids and including me. Everyone was optimistic and thought they were a lovely couple.

Meghan's own behaviour has shown her true personality and it's not nice. Nothing to do with her skin colour.

OP posts:
Coffeeishot · 06/03/2025 13:52

tropicalroses · 06/03/2025 13:50

I dont think she cares about California either, so by your logic she should be Meghan Meghan

Or just Meghan like Cher or Madonna.

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:52

tropicalroses · 06/03/2025 13:50

I dont think she cares about California either, so by your logic she should be Meghan Meghan

Oh yes actually, that would be the perfect name for her since it's all about her all the time!

OP posts:
tilypu · 06/03/2025 13:53

My surname comes from France. I have never been to France in my life. I'm not changing it just because I haven't spent enough time there 😂

That's the surname she received because of who she married and the title that she was given (by the Queen?). Why should she change it because someone from Sussex doesn't like her using it 😂😂 It's even more ridiculous than ex-husbands thinking they can tell their ex-wife to change their surname back to their maiden name.

Coffeeishot · 06/03/2025 13:53

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:51

I really don't.

I am quite vocal on racism normally and always call it out. But Meghan just seems not nice. Nothing to do with her skin colour.

When megs and harry were getting married the whole of the UK was behind them, including the papers and including the tabloids and including me. Everyone was optimistic and thought they were a lovely couple.

Meghan's own behaviour has shown her true personality and it's not nice. Nothing to do with her skin colour.

Oh so do people of colour have to be "nice" to get support do they?

tilypu · 06/03/2025 13:54

You think the tabloids were pro-Meghan? 😆

Ok then.

lemmein · 06/03/2025 13:55

Regretsmorethanafew · 06/03/2025 13:33

Thing is, it doesn't matter whether you or anyone else doesn't like it approve of it. That's how it works. That's her name.

It's not complicated and it doesn't matter.

This!

She's called 'Sussex' because she's married to Harry. Your dislike of her doesn't change that fact.

I can't imagine giving a shit about this, what a blessed life you must lead 😅

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:55

Coffeeishot · 06/03/2025 13:53

Oh so do people of colour have to be "nice" to get support do they?

🙄 Colour has nothing to do with anything!

If people (whatever their colour) are nice and do nice things, they will be liked.

If people (whatever their colour) act like dicks and do mean things, they will not be liked.

I don't know why people always bring race into this. Some people are just not nice regardless of the colour of their skin.

OP posts: