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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

California not Sussex

451 replies

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:28

I was born and grew up on the Surrey Sussex border. My brother currently lives in Sussex, my mum spent her retirement in Sussex, my grandparents lived in Sussex their whole lives, I had Saturday and holiday jobs in Sussex, my friends at school lived in Sussex.

I do not like or agree with Ms Markle having the 'Duchess of Sussex' title. She has spent all of 6 hours of her entire life here. She doesn't represent or care about me and the rest of the population of Sussex. She doesn't even like the UK. She will probably never set foot in the UK again, she hates our royal family and our country.

I cant really do much about the title being given to her. But now she wants people to refer to her as 'Meghan Sussex' according to her new netflix show.

Why?????

Why Meghan do you want you and your family to have a surname of a place you have barely ever been to, know nothing about, and which is located in a country you dislike and will never return to?

Can't you call yourself Meghan California instead? You can call yourself anything informally, and if you want to change your name formally, there is probably a way that you and Harry and the kids could adopt 'California' as your new surname.

Why oh why take/steal our home county as your new name. I get the 'duchess of Sussex' title is given to you, but you don't need to use it, and you definitely don't need to call yourself 'Meghan Sussex'.

(Some of) The people of Sussex do not want you to have our name

If you want our name then come visit. Spend time here. Visit the locals, buy OUR jam, invest in OUR schools, donate money to local charities, show interest in the place you have adopted as yours. Visit us regularly. Learn about the culture, the people, the place.

AIBU for thinking Meghan should make the effort to get to know Sussex if she now wants to be called 'Meghan Sussex'? If she doesn't want anything to do with us and will never come here again, she shouldn't call herself 'Meghan Sussex'.

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 07/03/2025 08:08

I think this is one subject that really isn’t worth people getting in a tizz about. I’m in the not a fan camp but could not care less if she calls herself Sussex (I don’t believe people (press) will adhere to the name anyway but if she wants her post addressed to Mrs Sussex or her cheques (if we still had them) signed Mrs Sussex it’s so meh I csn’t see why it would rile people up so.

Daisymae23 · 07/03/2025 08:56

I’m going to guess you are from Haslemere?

brunettemic · 07/03/2025 08:58

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:28

I was born and grew up on the Surrey Sussex border. My brother currently lives in Sussex, my mum spent her retirement in Sussex, my grandparents lived in Sussex their whole lives, I had Saturday and holiday jobs in Sussex, my friends at school lived in Sussex.

I do not like or agree with Ms Markle having the 'Duchess of Sussex' title. She has spent all of 6 hours of her entire life here. She doesn't represent or care about me and the rest of the population of Sussex. She doesn't even like the UK. She will probably never set foot in the UK again, she hates our royal family and our country.

I cant really do much about the title being given to her. But now she wants people to refer to her as 'Meghan Sussex' according to her new netflix show.

Why?????

Why Meghan do you want you and your family to have a surname of a place you have barely ever been to, know nothing about, and which is located in a country you dislike and will never return to?

Can't you call yourself Meghan California instead? You can call yourself anything informally, and if you want to change your name formally, there is probably a way that you and Harry and the kids could adopt 'California' as your new surname.

Why oh why take/steal our home county as your new name. I get the 'duchess of Sussex' title is given to you, but you don't need to use it, and you definitely don't need to call yourself 'Meghan Sussex'.

(Some of) The people of Sussex do not want you to have our name

If you want our name then come visit. Spend time here. Visit the locals, buy OUR jam, invest in OUR schools, donate money to local charities, show interest in the place you have adopted as yours. Visit us regularly. Learn about the culture, the people, the place.

AIBU for thinking Meghan should make the effort to get to know Sussex if she now wants to be called 'Meghan Sussex'? If she doesn't want anything to do with us and will never come here again, she shouldn't call herself 'Meghan Sussex'.

Who cares?! Give me 3 significant negative impacts on your life and I might change my mind.

honeylulu · 07/03/2025 13:10

My surname is the name of a village in Northumbria which i have never been to. I'm not giving it up!

Since 2017 the male line descendants of the monarch have had the official surname Windsor. QE2's descendants have Mountbatten-Windsor. Members of the Royal Family will rarely need to use a surname but when they do, that's surely what it is. The Queen's death certificate states Surname - Windsor. (Though HRH birth certificates actually don't include a surname.)

So the royal/aristocratic habit of adopting part of their title as their current surname serms a bit odd, not least because it can change a number of times. So Prince William used "Wales" as his surname until he received his Dukedom. Then he and his children used "Cambridge" as a surname. Now back to "Wales" again. Just seems a pointless faff, why not just stick with Windsor on the rare occasions when you need to use a surname? I bet he doesn't mess around changing his passport and driving licence each time. Those are the sort of things you actually need a surname for!

The Sussex children have Mountbatten-Windsor on their birth certificates. I wonder if their parents have officially changed their names or if they just use Sussex as an unofficial "styled as" name. If the latter, seems a bit pointless but I'm just a clueless commoner.

06230villefrancesurmer · 07/03/2025 18:04

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:28

I was born and grew up on the Surrey Sussex border. My brother currently lives in Sussex, my mum spent her retirement in Sussex, my grandparents lived in Sussex their whole lives, I had Saturday and holiday jobs in Sussex, my friends at school lived in Sussex.

I do not like or agree with Ms Markle having the 'Duchess of Sussex' title. She has spent all of 6 hours of her entire life here. She doesn't represent or care about me and the rest of the population of Sussex. She doesn't even like the UK. She will probably never set foot in the UK again, she hates our royal family and our country.

I cant really do much about the title being given to her. But now she wants people to refer to her as 'Meghan Sussex' according to her new netflix show.

Why?????

Why Meghan do you want you and your family to have a surname of a place you have barely ever been to, know nothing about, and which is located in a country you dislike and will never return to?

Can't you call yourself Meghan California instead? You can call yourself anything informally, and if you want to change your name formally, there is probably a way that you and Harry and the kids could adopt 'California' as your new surname.

Why oh why take/steal our home county as your new name. I get the 'duchess of Sussex' title is given to you, but you don't need to use it, and you definitely don't need to call yourself 'Meghan Sussex'.

(Some of) The people of Sussex do not want you to have our name

If you want our name then come visit. Spend time here. Visit the locals, buy OUR jam, invest in OUR schools, donate money to local charities, show interest in the place you have adopted as yours. Visit us regularly. Learn about the culture, the people, the place.

AIBU for thinking Meghan should make the effort to get to know Sussex if she now wants to be called 'Meghan Sussex'? If she doesn't want anything to do with us and will never come here again, she shouldn't call herself 'Meghan Sussex'.

Why would you care ?

envbeckyc · 07/03/2025 19:09

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:28

I was born and grew up on the Surrey Sussex border. My brother currently lives in Sussex, my mum spent her retirement in Sussex, my grandparents lived in Sussex their whole lives, I had Saturday and holiday jobs in Sussex, my friends at school lived in Sussex.

I do not like or agree with Ms Markle having the 'Duchess of Sussex' title. She has spent all of 6 hours of her entire life here. She doesn't represent or care about me and the rest of the population of Sussex. She doesn't even like the UK. She will probably never set foot in the UK again, she hates our royal family and our country.

I cant really do much about the title being given to her. But now she wants people to refer to her as 'Meghan Sussex' according to her new netflix show.

Why?????

Why Meghan do you want you and your family to have a surname of a place you have barely ever been to, know nothing about, and which is located in a country you dislike and will never return to?

Can't you call yourself Meghan California instead? You can call yourself anything informally, and if you want to change your name formally, there is probably a way that you and Harry and the kids could adopt 'California' as your new surname.

Why oh why take/steal our home county as your new name. I get the 'duchess of Sussex' title is given to you, but you don't need to use it, and you definitely don't need to call yourself 'Meghan Sussex'.

(Some of) The people of Sussex do not want you to have our name

If you want our name then come visit. Spend time here. Visit the locals, buy OUR jam, invest in OUR schools, donate money to local charities, show interest in the place you have adopted as yours. Visit us regularly. Learn about the culture, the people, the place.

AIBU for thinking Meghan should make the effort to get to know Sussex if she now wants to be called 'Meghan Sussex'? If she doesn't want anything to do with us and will never come here again, she shouldn't call herself 'Meghan Sussex'.

Megan has that title because it was bestowed to her and her husband by the late queen!

She didn’t ask for it or choose it!

Do you think every Welsh person is happy about Prince William being given the title of Prince of Wales and Kate Middleton being their Princess, or the people in York being delighted that Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson are the Duke and Duchess of York? Sarah retained this title even after her divorce!

On that basis YABU

Cetim · 07/03/2025 19:11

But she is actually a Mountbatten - Windsor so not sure why she said Sussex. Either way who cares? You're not paying her wages anymore. Leave her to it. Loads of people have the surname of a place they have no ties to. And before people bang on about how she is using the title to make money. No she was famous before and had a successful lifestyle brand aswell. Yes it is a whole new scale because she is an ex member of the Royal family and she wouldn't have had this much publicity had she not married into it. But is that her fault? The media have an unhealthy obsession with all royals it's weird. It's just if you tow the line and cooperate you get good perspectives on anything you do but if not then you get bad perspective on anything you do. Imagine if she had trotted off to America and not 'bashed' the Royal family and kept out of the Public eye and stopped taking money from the British taxpayer, but just decided to go back to doing lifestyle brand stuff, I still think netflix would've been interested in her. Celebs with much less status have netflix deals. My point is this... she has a right to earn money as everyone does. If she didn't earn money we would hate her for that. There is a public interest in her as demonstrated by the fact that every word she utters seems to trigger multiple headlines.
Would you say the same to the honorary Duke and duchess of Cornwall? Who far from donate to the county actually have been proven to plunder from it?

BluebellCrocus · 07/03/2025 19:23

I was saying to a friend that Meghan and Harry could make an appearance at County Mall shopping centre in Crawley to honour their name and the people of Sussex. Maybe outside B&M Bargains.

Tigger1895 · 07/03/2025 19:24

This kind of thing is one of the reasons Trump won. People believing everything they read and forming an opinion based on it. Truth of the matter is the media spin stories they know will sell and create a narrative to suit an agenda

Efrogwraig · 07/03/2025 19:47

The Duke of Devonshire lives in Derbyshire, Duke of Edinburgh lives in Surrey, the Duke of Cornwall lives in Windsor.....

Cetim · 07/03/2025 20:00

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:38

It's one thing being 'meghan, duchess of Sussex' (and I don't agree she should have that title). But it seems Meghan the feminist doesn't want to keep her Markle surname and instead what's to be Mrs Meghan Sussex. Surely she could call herself anything? And why does she still want the bloody title anyway? She can f right off.

Show quote history

She clearly said its because she wants the same name as her children. Feminism is about choice. Some women choose to keep their maiden name and some don't.

Housebuyingfamily · 07/03/2025 20:03

floopsycat · 06/03/2025 13:31

Does it really matter? I say yabu.

You’re posting on Mumsnet AIBU too, don’t even bother trying to take the high ground

Ilovecleaning · 07/03/2025 20:26

I believe that royal dukedoms have little to do with the actual places.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 07/03/2025 21:22

I think York has bigger issues…

Cojones · 07/03/2025 21:52

@CaliforniaNotSussex but they’re not representing Sussex, and anyway does it really matter? Lots of people have surnames that are place names, doesn’t mean they represent.

AlternativeView · 07/03/2025 22:00

Omg what title actually relates to what how long has William spent in Wales??

LordR · 07/03/2025 22:10

Not in this case,when you talk about commoners and people who have Titles and the Royals, completely different thing,for example, Sophie Wessex, Sophie the Countess of Wessex, The Prince(William) Of Wales AKA “William Wales”
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex AKA “The Sussexes” AKA Harry and Meghan Sussex. None of the above have those names as a surname just cos. So, completely different when it’s referring to Royalty and Titled persons and not everyday people such as yourself.

honeylulu · 07/03/2025 22:23

Feminism is about choice.

No, feminism is about equality.

06230villefrancesurmer · 07/03/2025 22:26

Cetim · 07/03/2025 19:11

But she is actually a Mountbatten - Windsor so not sure why she said Sussex. Either way who cares? You're not paying her wages anymore. Leave her to it. Loads of people have the surname of a place they have no ties to. And before people bang on about how she is using the title to make money. No she was famous before and had a successful lifestyle brand aswell. Yes it is a whole new scale because she is an ex member of the Royal family and she wouldn't have had this much publicity had she not married into it. But is that her fault? The media have an unhealthy obsession with all royals it's weird. It's just if you tow the line and cooperate you get good perspectives on anything you do but if not then you get bad perspective on anything you do. Imagine if she had trotted off to America and not 'bashed' the Royal family and kept out of the Public eye and stopped taking money from the British taxpayer, but just decided to go back to doing lifestyle brand stuff, I still think netflix would've been interested in her. Celebs with much less status have netflix deals. My point is this... she has a right to earn money as everyone does. If she didn't earn money we would hate her for that. There is a public interest in her as demonstrated by the fact that every word she utters seems to trigger multiple headlines.
Would you say the same to the honorary Duke and duchess of Cornwall? Who far from donate to the county actually have been proven to plunder from it?

Utter nonsense. Mountbatten was a proven genocide participation in India. .
Also suspected pedophile
So why would anyone wish to claim to be associated with this monster.
Just in case ya think I'm wrong. Harold Wilson & our Queen stopped him from trying to make an overthrow of the government

ThistleTits · 07/03/2025 23:26

CaliforniaNotSussex · 06/03/2025 13:28

I was born and grew up on the Surrey Sussex border. My brother currently lives in Sussex, my mum spent her retirement in Sussex, my grandparents lived in Sussex their whole lives, I had Saturday and holiday jobs in Sussex, my friends at school lived in Sussex.

I do not like or agree with Ms Markle having the 'Duchess of Sussex' title. She has spent all of 6 hours of her entire life here. She doesn't represent or care about me and the rest of the population of Sussex. She doesn't even like the UK. She will probably never set foot in the UK again, she hates our royal family and our country.

I cant really do much about the title being given to her. But now she wants people to refer to her as 'Meghan Sussex' according to her new netflix show.

Why?????

Why Meghan do you want you and your family to have a surname of a place you have barely ever been to, know nothing about, and which is located in a country you dislike and will never return to?

Can't you call yourself Meghan California instead? You can call yourself anything informally, and if you want to change your name formally, there is probably a way that you and Harry and the kids could adopt 'California' as your new surname.

Why oh why take/steal our home county as your new name. I get the 'duchess of Sussex' title is given to you, but you don't need to use it, and you definitely don't need to call yourself 'Meghan Sussex'.

(Some of) The people of Sussex do not want you to have our name

If you want our name then come visit. Spend time here. Visit the locals, buy OUR jam, invest in OUR schools, donate money to local charities, show interest in the place you have adopted as yours. Visit us regularly. Learn about the culture, the people, the place.

AIBU for thinking Meghan should make the effort to get to know Sussex if she now wants to be called 'Meghan Sussex'? If she doesn't want anything to do with us and will never come here again, she shouldn't call herself 'Meghan Sussex'.

I thought he was a "Windsor?"

LittleJoeyJoJo · 07/03/2025 23:50

Why do you hate someone you’ve never met. Can I randomly start hating you or your Mum for something utterly trivial? Ughh, we get enough hate from men. Women should lift other women up, not kick them down.

JoyousGreyOrca · 07/03/2025 23:53

ThistleTits · 07/03/2025 23:26

I thought he was a "Windsor?"

Show quote history

RTFT Georges birth certificate says Cambridge. Neither Harry or William are now Windsors.

MarvellousMonsters · 08/03/2025 00:10

I think there are far more important things for us all to care about.

pollymere · 08/03/2025 00:30

When they wanted to be The Royal Sussex and trademark it I just kept thinking why would you want to be named after the hospital in Brighton 😂🤭.

Surely their surname is Windsor?

honeylulu · 08/03/2025 00:39

JoyousGreyOrca · 07/03/2025 23:53

RTFT Georges birth certificate says Cambridge. Neither Harry or William are now Windsors.

Show quote history

No, royal birth certificates don't have to give a surname, just first name and their title i.e. HRH Prince George of Cambridge. However marriage and death certificates do require a surname so the Queen's said Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor. Her marriage certificate also stated surname Windsor and Mountbatten for Prince Philip.

When Prince William brought legal proceedings against the press in France the official documents recorded his name as William Mountbatten-Windsor and his wife as Catherine Middleton.

Mountbatten-Windsor is the official surname of the royals. Cambridge/Wales/Sussex/Wessex are just "known as" unofficial names based on the title in current use.

You can look this stuff up in Debrett's if you don't believe me.