To think there should be minimum standards

[Obviouslynamechangedforthisagain]

For parents to keep their home?
Reading threads on here people admit to children being bathed once per week, wearing pjs for weeks on end, changing beds monthly etc.
Obviously not everyone lives in squalor but if there were minimum standards (ie 3 baths pw, bedding changed weekly) it could help an awful lot of neglected children that don't reach SS level of need.
Admittedly it would be almost impossible to police but if it could be done AIBU to think this could be a good idea?

Dear lord you've led a sheltered life if you genuinely believe that a child having a bath once a week and their bedding changed once a month is being neglected.

Try not having any bedding at all and a bathroom so filled with rubbish/used nappies/sanitary products that bathing would be impossible.

I actually feel sick when I read the threads where people are bragging about being filthy. They end up competing with one another over who is the worst and somehow think it's funny.

Using towels and bedding for weeks on end and cleaning your bathroom once a month is disgusting.

You must’ve lived a very sheltered life if you think child neglect is weekly baths and fresh linens only twice a month.

Well that was me growing up OP, weekly baths and to be honest I doubt bedding was changed as often as once a month - I was from a big family. But my parents were lovely people and I had a great childhood so I think you are talking nonsense.

YABU. There are minimum standards. In social work there is a concept of 'Good enough' parenting, you might want to look it up.

The 'standards' that you list are arbitrary and only based on your own life, culture and upbringing.

you do you, but a clean house with lots of washing and laundry doesn't make for a happy childhood

As a pp has said, who would decide what these standards are? A once weekly bath on a Sunday night was the norm growing up in the 80s and 90s when in primary school. We weren't neglected, it was just the way it was and there was nothing wring with it. We were healthy and thriving children. I bathe my little one every night but that's because it's more a part of our bedtime routine than them actually needing it.

My experience too.
The obsession (frequently exhibited on MN) with daily bathing / showering twice daily, washing towels daily etc. is a very recent phenomenon, is completely unnecessary and is also absolutely terrible for the environment.

You really must live in a privileged bubble if you think that once a week baths and a monthly sheet change is child neglect.

It's a terrible idea because impossible to police. Plus not neglect.

That is not 'neglect' and 'squalor'! There is much worse.

Beds soaked in urine and faeces, multiple pets, animal waste on the floors, vermin and insect infestations, dirty clothing piled everywhere, festering sinks full of dishes, kitchen surfaces caked in old food - that's the sort of thing that triggers CS involvement. Not slightly smelly bedclothes.

I find this attitude worrying because it makes parents fearful of Children's Services and ultimately that means women not seeking timely help for depression, PND etc as they think they will be judged because their home is less than perfect. It's a huge problem.

It’s quite Orwellian maybe we should all have cameras in our homes, participate in mandatory group exercise and get rations (to solve obesity) anyone who doesn’t behave and keep to schedule but can taken off for some helpful reeducation.

Those things are not neglect, you’re being ridiculous if you think those things equal abuse.

@Obviouslynamechangedforthisagain if you think wearing the same PJs for a week is squalor I’d suggest you’ve lived an extremely sheltered life.

Well I think the poll demonstrates people's thoughts.

There are minimum standards applied if social services are called to assess a case of neglect.

The standards are 'is the child's growth, development and health being harmed by this environment'

It's more - do they have a bed, bedding, nightwear,clean clothing, access to a toilet, toothbrush & toothpaste, access to food (any sort).

Whilst I think you are right that children have a right to a decent standard of living, rigid standards such as you describe will waste social services' time in ensuring children in real danger are seen and helped.

So what would happen to children whose parents changed their bedding every 8 days? Do they all go into care? We would have to have absolutely massive children's homes in every area. Do you really think that would be a better option for them?

'Keep their home'? Wtf? I own my home. Is someone going to come round and sniff the sheets and repossess if not freshly laundered? What an insane post.

My grandfather was sewn into his clothes at the start of the winter and unsewn in spring (there was a toileting flap, in case you are wondering). Normal in working class households in the early years of the 20th century. Hygiene standards are subjective and the thought that the state should be policing them would be frightening if it wasn't so bonkers.

Bonkers. No child is helped by the family being made homeless!

This 😊

Sounds like one of the dystopian novels I read.
Strict society rules. No freedom of choice.
Those novels always end up with a rebellion.
😁

There’s nowhere for neglected kids to go. There needs to be a major overhaul of our foster care system to encourage more people to become foster Carer’s.

Too many kids being neglected but because there’s no where for them to go SS close the case.

Definitely should be more family workers working with dysfunctional families. Some parents really need to be guided as usually no fault of their own, they don’t have a clue.

The most abusive of parents would just lie and manipulate the system - as they always do now.

In 2020, we had a taste of what society might look like with over-interference by government and curtain-twitching Hyacinth Buckets (AIBU about my neighbours having their grandchildren over?), all in a supposedly good cause, and ironically, children came out of it very badly indeed, for countless reasons; not least because cruelty or neglect was probably happening all the more, behind closed doors. Some children disappeared off the radar.

1984 could easily because a reality, if we are not careful. The technology for spying on people in their own homes is already there (Alexa, Ring doorbells, pet cams). It could be easy for government to issue orders to access these when they want to, and change the law to make this effortless. And if such surveillance were to happen, real child abuse and neglect would go even deeper underground.

Be careful what you wish for.

My child with SEN will only tolerate a hairwash once a week (although will have baths in-between with no hair washing).

Said child has also never had headlice.

OP - I think you are vastly misunderstanding what abuse and neglect is.

Can you expand on what you mean by 'keep their home'?

My younger children sometimes only have a couple of baths a week. Teenager washes most days.

Bedding is probably changed every other week on average in winter. More often in summer.

I read to my children every night. Sit with them whilst they complete their homework. Play endless board and card games with them. Attend almost every event at their schools. Cook fresh homemade meals every night.

I actually work in a role linked to safeguarding. You clearly have no idea of the actual neglect that is happening in thousands of homes across the country if this is what concerns you.