dd wishes she was more sporty

[CosyRubyDreamer]

dd (16) is bad at all sports (her words, not mine). Her coordination and physical stamina isn't the best and as a kid she hated doing sports. However she seems to click with sporty people in terms of personality everywhere. She is energetic and very playful. Her best friends are academic like her but way more quiet and serious. She is friendly with the sporty group at school and has so much fun with them but its hard to get closer as they all are in team sports together. Am at a lost

She can get better at sports through practice and participation.

Which sport would she like to try?

The most expensive route would be some 1-1 coaching, but clubs would be fine. Help her research what there is nearby and encourage her to join something.

Encourage her to try. Most sports people are 10% talent, 90% effort so she could improve a lot with practice.

How much work has she put into sports? Of course some people will ve more naturally talented but pretty sure the best are the people who are willing to work hard training and improving themselves and stick at it, if she is only really interested in the social side of it and expects to be able to just walk straight into something and be naturally skilled at it then it's not surprising she might find it hard to do well.
And what has she tried? What about sth like D of E, or ten tors (if they have anything similar in your area), ie something outside of school.

She never formally did sports except for swimming when very young (think age 4-7) and she still can't swim properly. She was never interested in sports until the past 3 years where she found that she gels with the sporty people best.

What sports does she do? Does she like team sports or prefer individual?

She doesnt do any except for at school as there is nothing that she can really join at her age as a rookie. She likes team sports. The group she is friends with are rowers/ play footy.

Why did she stop swimming at age 7 if she couldn't swim properly? I'd be looking at open days at local sports clubs and encourage her to have a trial

There are loads of sports you can join as an adult beginner. I hated hockey and netball at school so always assumed I was unsporty. As an adult I've competed in running, triathlon, rowing, kayak polo, and enjoyed doing climbing, pilates, slalom skiing, lifting and dancing. If she doesn't do a sport, she'll never be sporty. She doesn't have to be the best, just do it.

She couldn't swim at her peers' speed but can swim. She just didn't progress and at the time she didn't have a preference, and I would rather her focus on playing the piano. But when she became a teen she started to hate the piano so she doesn't play anymore.

At 16 she can probably join woman’s teams. Locally we have netball and rounders teams asking for new members all the time, they all advertise as no experience requires and that all abilities are welcome to take part. Maybe look for something like that?

How about martial arts? Locally to me they have groups of mixed ability and ages so someone starting in their teens would not be unusual. It’s great for fitness and coordination and you can progress at your own speed.

It's a shame she gave up swimming when she was so young. Sounds like she just needed lots more practise at it. Could she start swimming and build that up? Could you go with her to encourage her? Then rowing club could be an option.

A rugby team would take a complete rookie.
Any canoeing clubs... again happy for a newbie to join.
Climbing can be a great social one.

Me and my daughter are non sporty people and I remember how it made me feel at school so we did couch to 5k together and now do parkrun on Saturday mornings I think that might be a good place for her to start?

I'd assume not any school ones though...... and she doesn't want to embarrass herself

She can start rowing at 16 surely, lots of people don't start until university. What about climbing? Anything where you just compete against yourself.

Would second triathlon, you don't need to be amazing at any of the sports and if you join a club then they'll coach. A lot of triathletes struggle with the swimming.

One of the things it's important to shift is that it's ok to do a sport and not be good at it. Teen sports are often intensely competitive with limited opportunities to do things for fun. That would be a great mindset to go into adulthood with if you can find something she enjoys.

Parkrun.

It doesn't matter how 'good' she is at it, and she'll see improvements month after month when she compares herself to herself.

You mention she is friends with rowers and I was going to suggest rowing. Lots of people take it up later (many Olympians only start at university) and there is great camaraderie in the sport. My dyspraxic husband excelled at rowing despite being utterly useless at ball sports and many of his oldest friends are rowers.

She can do sports outside of school for herself.
Swimming, running, cycling, martial arts, ice skating.
Has she tried rowing?
Badminton is a good sport which a lot of people find they can play ok

Ah bless her.

I've always been sporty and play to a decent level in a couple. I can assure her that the bast majority of sports clubs are very welcoming, sports like cricket, rugby and football are in their infancy for girls and women's teams at a mass participiation level so slways need new players and very few people have ever played before. There has been a massive push in funding for women's sport generally so there should be lots for her to do, it's hard the first time but she needs to be brave.

Yes I’d suggest she gives rowing a go.
Other ones which tend to be welcoming are climbing and women’s softball cricket.
Could also do park run or orienteering

She can definitely take up rowing at 16! Contact the local rowing club and get her down there!

Why have her friends not said to her “come along to training”?

If she wants to be better at sport then she needs to practice. It really is a lot about practices, way more than natural ability alone, as I see with my own children

My eldest DD hated sports and didn't think she was good at it. I was very surprised when she was in secondary school to find out she was doing all the sports on offer, she was falling asleep at the dinner table. She was doing about 10 extra curricular clubs in her lunchtimes and after school. When I questioned her she said 'I wasn't very good at sports so I decided to get better'. By the end of year 11 she got a distinction in PE and her PE teacher said she should do sports science at college. She didnt, she did performing arts and never wanted to do sports again! BUT she proved she could do it! I still can't understand why she went through all of that and we laugh about it now (she's 21 and doing a creative writing degree), she still hates sports!

The point is that anyone can do it if they want to!

I joined a Facebook one Go Mammouth you pay and turn up and are put in a team. Everyone can play to a decent standard but we are not top level by any means. Now have a nice team with drinks and dinner every few months. Been fab she should just do that.