dd wishes she was more sporty

[CosyRubyDreamer]

dd (16) is bad at all sports (her words, not mine). Her coordination and physical stamina isn't the best and as a kid she hated doing sports. However she seems to click with sporty people in terms of personality everywhere. She is energetic and very playful. Her best friends are academic like her but way more quiet and serious. She is friendly with the sporty group at school and has so much fun with them but its hard to get closer as they all are in team sports together. Am at a lost

DO you have a local netball team? Ours is always looking and its a great team sport.

Just get her to choose something and go for it.
My friend started Tae Kwon do in her 30's and got her black belt. Lots of friends started running and cycling. You're never too old.
As well as having a connection with friends, doing more sports will benefit her hugely mentally as well as physically.

I thought I was rubbish at sports til I took up pole dancing at 37 and discovered I’m incredibly strong! Could she try something like gymnastics, trampolining, dance, silks… something like that that doesn’t require a ball? I was good at trampolining in PE but I tried to sign up for trampolining club at school and didn’t get picked (it was oversubscribed and the luck of the draw) and that was that but I so wish I’d discovered I was good at that sort of thing sooner!

What sports has she tried, there are some great suggestions on here - park run being world wide she can do that anywhere.

There are a whole hosts of sorts and some people are better on solo spots rather than team sports.

How wonderful that your dd does want to be sporty, its a great way of staying fit and socialising, meeting new people etc

do you have stuff like pickle ball near to you? running clubs? Cycling clubs? gyms? adult swimming classes?

I've always been useless at sports. I have no coordination and hate any kind of competitive sport. That's fine, that's who I am. I have other skills!
However, I've always been active. I'm obsessed with walking, I can go on a bike ride. Can't your daughter just do active things with her friends that are just fun? For example, playing basket ball or tennis at the park (just messing around, not a serious match), going for a walk or a jog. Or a bike ride?
I also don't understand this thing about her liking sporty people. They're not all the same. Sporty people I know are all quite different.

Our local gym has sessions for teens

Or couch to 5K app

Ladies soft ball cricket would be a great start, it's fun and very varied in abilities.

I don't quite understand what you want...does she want to play sports with her sporty friends or just hang out with them when they aren't playing sports? If she wants to play sports with them, then why doesn't she join in and play sports with them? If you are going to go to the effort of finding her a sport to do at a local club then she won't be with her sporty friends other than when they are just hanging out, so how would that be different to the current situation?

A friend of mine joined a rowing club in her 40s as a rookie, so there is hope for her.

Adults who were never sporty at school but discovered it later tend to be into running, yoga or open water swimming. There are sports like roller derby which seem to actually target non-sporty people. If there are any glee clubs, the singing and dancing would bring her interests together.

She should start running, like a lot of people have said, maybe using couch to 5k. This will give her a bit more strength and stamina to open up more options. She doesn't have to commit to always being a runner, but it's a great place to start.

You can improve at anything with practise and strengthening your muscle groups two of my friends are dyspraxic and only come to sports and physical hobbies late in life - but they work at it. Their process to improve was a lot slower and you're surrounded by people who naturally find it easier and pick up new skills quickly.

So improving core strength helps loads but also you have to get into a mindset where you aren't hard on yourself. Can laugh off fumbles and pick your self up. You know your own process and you crack on. I hated sport when I was young but found joy for it at uni where I was able to laugh about it and didn't feel judged and had a team to celebrate my improvements with.

She can definitely start rowing now (though she will have to pass a swimming test, for obvious reasons). Rowing clubs often don't take people on until they are approaching their teens because of how the body develops (ours didn't anyway and that was a pretty serious club, Steve Redgrave trained there). I started at 12 and was rowing at a pretty high level by 14. Be warned though, it can take a lot of commitment to be in with 'the crowd' (think 6 days a week plus competitions) and I have a feeling it probably cost my parents a lot of money. My parents made friends there though and I had a very tight knit group of girls from there. I actually quit when I was 17 though because I wanted to spend my evenings out with friends, rather than on a freezing cold river and was much happier for it. Grass is always greener... Perhaps something like rugby/football might be slightly less onerous on time. Equally, interests change so much at this age, the 'sporty' girls she's friends with may well change over the next few years, especially with university coming up.

She has tried swimming informally and her school does swimming lessons for PE but she really physically can't swim properly and she can't ride a bike either.

You do need to be co-ordinated for rowing.

So why doesn’t she take up one of those?! You have rookies of all ages in both sports.

I think rowing probably isn't for her then. Rowing clubs need people to be able to swim to shore or a launch if they capsize, which happens, even to very capable rowers. Ours tested us during a capsize drill in a swimming pool first and we had to swim two lengths without visible struggle. I wouldn't worry about not riding a bike though... I can't either and was always very sporty :).
How about horse riding? Lot's of people take that up later and you can get 1:1 lessons to start off.
Also yoga has a lovely community and could help with coordination, balance and general wellbeing.

You seem quite negative about all the ideas. What are you looking for from this thread?
You're putting up a lot of barriers.

Look at some getting into cycling schemes in your area. Lots of council run initiatives to get people cycling confidently.
And there are lots of adult swimming lessons too.
My dc struggled with swimming at 7 and then really picked it up when we tried again at 9/10.
Look also at ThisGirlCan for ideas and perhaps the both of you can start something together.

www.thisgirlcan.co.uk/

This is not true.

Both football and rowing have beginners options at all ages.

The first step for rowing would be swimming lessons.

I agree with the comment above you are coming across as putting barriers in the way.

Is the issue money, you don't want to spend the money? Because 1-1 swimming lessons would be the best start for rowing, about ten lessons would help her make lots of progress.

I'm not sure what you're hoping to achieve from this thread. Loads of people have made helpful suggestions which you have ignored or say are not possible

She needs swimming lessons, which are available in every part of the country.

Edited to add: I now see you're not in the UK, but in any country with similar infrastructure there would be swimming lessons presumably, and some countries (e.g. Australia) potentially more emphasis on swimming.

Activities like rowing are more about fitness, stamina and physique than sportiness and coordination. How do her friends train, are they in the gym, running, swimming? Can she join them? She could train as a cox or referee, lifeguard or first aider if she wants to feel more included.

Gym/training is probably the answer. It is just personal to her, no measuring against anyone else, she’ll be toned and enjoy exercise.

@CosyRubyDreamer wtaf do you want from thus thread? You are very negative

We take newbies at that age in our rugby club. As others mentioned martial arts is a good thought but also join a gym

Have a look and see if there are any ladies softball cricket teams near you. She’s old enough to play and it’s really welcoming of all abilities and experience levels. It’s designed as an introduction to the sport and is very low key, all about having a bit of fun.