To be cross with school bus leaving

[Pineapplepink]

DD12 attends a private school that has a bus service. Due to various reasons, I asked school if she can get the bus for the rest of this week. All confirmed and ok. DD went to the meeting place, bus arrived and said there’s no space for her, then drove off. Amazingly a child who always gets the bus got off with DD and took her to their house and asked the mum to give them both a lift. I am so cross that school haven’t contacted me and I would be none the wiser had this other parent not let me know. Have left a message with school but I’m so cross and wonder if I’m unreasonable to be so cross. I’ve got a very stressful week so unsure if I’m over reacting and anyway not sure what they can do to rectify it now.

I have children who get a school bus and they travel over 40 miles there and back.
I would be fuming if they got left at the side of the road after trying to get on. I would take this further with the school.
I learned the hard way that they need a phone and a house key because sometimes things don't go to plan.

@Pineapplepink
Op Ive probably been a bit harsh. Had far too many threads on here with people insistant that phones are the work of all evil and their secondary aged kid doesn't need a phone and the "I'm a better parent than you are attitude" that seems to go with it.

I missed she'd been dropped at a remote bus stop I thought she was walking distance from home. I actually feel rage that the driver was prepared to leave her he knew he could sort the bill with the school your hardly going to do a runner.

I'd be doing more than emailing the school. I'd be on the phone to them.
I think with normal service buses drivers are at their discretion to take kids with or without the full fare if it means the kid is stranded. Partly to avoid a Daily Mail Sad Face but still.

School cannot have it both ways no phone and leaving a child to fend for themselves at a remote bus stop. Wtf - at what point would they have notified you she didn't turn up?

Sod the school rules I would sort the parental controls on her phone tonight and put it in her bag.

But I absolutely feel the rage, earlier I guessed money might have played a part but was giving the driver the benefit of the doubt thinking he can't take more kids than seats on a coach. Service buses have hand holds for standing passengers, coaches and mini buses don't.

I'm raging on your behalf 😤

Something you do need to think about your 3miles from the bus stop.

Should you be held up, you cone out of work to a flat tyre, How does she get home? Or where does she go?

Phone is an essential bit of kit for you to be able to call her and let her know, is Plan B a taxi, go to friends, go to Granny.
What is Plan B?

Bless her innocence thinking about walking to school. I'm raging that driver was prepared to leave her. Huge thanks to the other girl and her mum!

Agree, but the school have the bus company contract. So the school need to be on the phone to the bus company saying if there is anything that is totally unacceptable in delivering your bus route job, it is leaving our students stranded in the middle of nowhere. Your entire job is getting them to school and this was a complete fail and put our student in danger. This must never happen again.

But… sure she could have told school when she got there, but it sounded like you were suggesting a solution to being stranded, which wasn’t a solution at all since it required having already solved the problem of being stranded.

op, I’d take it up with the school again, they need to urgently fix something in their processes with the bus company.

The school/bus driver were wrong, but your 12 year old should have a key!

Honestly , I'd be wanting the driver sacked.

Lots of people suggesting she needs a phone. For some schools a no phones policy is just that - no phones. DDs school allows no phones and regularly does bag and locker searches with detentions given if a phone is found

I very much doubt that would be the case in a private school - parents would go ballistic (ri fb to so, in my opinion - if kids are travelling independently they need a phone). I. The two private school DD has attended they use lockable pouches to keep phones in.

Agreed, it was fairly clear, and certainly did not justify the huge proportion of posters getting the facts wrong. However, what does "... bus arrived and said there’s no space for her" mean? There was no allocated space for her as she had no ticket or her name was not on a passenger manifest? There is a safety limit for the number of standing passengers and all the seats were taken? Some other reason? Or did the driver not give an explanation?

Your daughter needs to do some emergency planning with you. Not just for this scenario but for others. E.g. in this scenario she needs a key, a phone and the numbers of you, the school and anyone else that would be be helpful like grandparents.

You need to start talking through what to do when something unexpected happens so she can make sensible safe decisions.

She needs to take a phone to school. No phones usually means switched off and in their bags so she should ask the teacher or office if she needs to make a call while in school. If the school says no phones at all then push back using this morning's example.

I would argue that out with the school. Children who are travelling alone need to be able to contact parents. Public phones are a thing of the past, more and more disappear every year.

If the other girl hadn't helped, the Ops DD would have been stranded, with no means of calling for help.

I get schools don't want kids using social media and that's a different issue.
But no phones is just stupid and leaves kids in a vulnerable position.

I'd agree parents should push back on any sort of no phones rules.
Shit happens, parents get held up, roads get closed, trains cancelled, flat tyres, etc .

And the other way round children used to be given emergency money for the phone box. Well they are a thing to the past. Technology has moved on.

Essentials are key, bank card or pocket money card, phone.

It means no paid space. It's more clear in her last post.
He could easily have taken her and sorted the money out later with the school office.

I was thinking the same thing the driver can't take more people than seats, hence initially siding with the driver.
Coaches don't normally allow standing, no hand holds. I think that might be the difference between a coach and bus.

Private school mum here. School coaches are usually paid for by the term so if she is not on the list and doesn't have a pass then how would the driver know? Ours has a very clear safeguard policy too. No pass no journey. Sounds like the school messed up.

And OP sod the no phone policy, if it's on silent in her bag then it's fine.

same with mine

I understand the "no pass no journey" but also wonder how leaving just her was the better option?

I suppose there is a chance that your experience isn't universal and OP knows how her school bus works, since she's the one who booked her kid onto it.

Thanks, yes, more clear in her last post but not exactly crystal.
Perhaps there is some insurance or company policy clause that would prevent the driver taking unregistered passengers.
Bottom line, the school cocked up.

This thread is astonishing. People are so quick to push forward their own, often nonsensical, viewpoint.

The dd did cope with the 'disaster'. She didn't just wait on the village green till nightfall. She got to school using ability to form relationships with her peers and explaining the situation.

My own dd was in a similar situation when she was on her sixth form college bus and it was GCSE resit day and a girl got on and she had forgotten her lanyard so the bus driver wouldn't let her on. She was saying 'but I've got my gcse resit' and he was telling her that if she didn't get off he would call the police!

This girl was sobbing by this stage and she got off and he drove away. So dd and the girl next to her got off at the next stop and ran back to the bus stop where this poor girl was crying still and dd called an uber. None of the three really knew each other.

Bus driver was 'doing the right thing' apparently as you aren't allowed on the bus without a lanyard.

He could have phoned the school and asked them to sort it out.

Goodness, think of all those irresponsible parents sending their children to school without a means of contacting them during the day for all those decades up to this century. How did the children survive?

Are you suggesting that she should have got the school office to phone OP once she was in school? Yes, she could, but how would that have helped with the original problem when the bus driver left her at the roadside? It was sheer luck that the friend and her mum were able to help.

YANBU but this happens at state schools all the time. Buses are too full and drivers regularly leave first years behind. I agree it's not acceptable though.

Goodness, imagining walking around the streets not realising that the number of telephones boxes has dwindled to virtually none. How do you survive?