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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross with school bus leaving

227 replies

Pineapplepink · 05/03/2025 13:16

DD12 attends a private school that has a bus service. Due to various reasons, I asked school if she can get the bus for the rest of this week. All confirmed and ok. DD went to the meeting place, bus arrived and said there’s no space for her, then drove off. Amazingly a child who always gets the bus got off with DD and took her to their house and asked the mum to give them both a lift. I am so cross that school haven’t contacted me and I would be none the wiser had this other parent not let me know. Have left a message with school but I’m so cross and wonder if I’m unreasonable to be so cross. I’ve got a very stressful week so unsure if I’m over reacting and anyway not sure what they can do to rectify it now.

OP posts:
diddl · 05/03/2025 19:37

So if she wasn’t dropped
she walked there by herself and the op locked up the empty house knowing no way her daughter could contact her and no key to get back in

Such as if often was & still is for some secondary school kids I would think.

To me the fault is all with the driver & school, not Op.

People are reacting as if Op has done something really awful!

ilovepixie · 05/03/2025 19:42

Soontobe60 · 05/03/2025 13:41

She’s 12, not a toddler. She should have gone to the school office and told them what happened and asked them to phone you. It’s pretty poor that her getting the bus wasn’t checked that there would actually be room on the bus. I assume it’s the school who should have done this. Also, give her a door key! Is she never allowed out unaccompanied?

Edited

And how would she get to the school office! She was left at the side of the road miles away from school! Can you not read!

Needspaceforlego · 05/03/2025 19:50

I would think 95% of secondary aged kids would have a door key, a phone and probably a bank card of some description.

Therefore the ability to get back in the house and phone.

Ability to phone for help?

Ability for Mum or Dad to sort them a taxi and transfer them money if necessary, although some taxis can be paid when book.

The DD has been left in a vulnerable position. I honestly think I'd make sure she at least has a brick phones that can call me if she has an issue again. And a key.

What if parents get held up on their way home from work, traffic, issue with the trains What's the PlanB for the kid?

HarrietPierce · 05/03/2025 19:52

Irritateddaily · Today 14:56

"Oh my giddy aunt. Half the responses on this thread must be written by AI I seriously cannot believe half the people who have responded lack such basic bloody reading skills to understand that the child in question was ON HER WAY TO SCHOOL, IS NOT ALLOWED HER PHONE DUE TO SCHOOL RULES"

Yes comprehension skills on this thread are seriously lacking.

Needspaceforlego · 05/03/2025 20:07

HarrietPierce · 05/03/2025 19:52

Irritateddaily · Today 14:56

"Oh my giddy aunt. Half the responses on this thread must be written by AI I seriously cannot believe half the people who have responded lack such basic bloody reading skills to understand that the child in question was ON HER WAY TO SCHOOL, IS NOT ALLOWED HER PHONE DUE TO SCHOOL RULES"

Yes comprehension skills on this thread are seriously lacking.

The best bit is half the responses were writing during the school day!

Needspaceforlego · 05/03/2025 20:10

@Pineapplepink
Did DD get home OK?
What did school say?

Codlingmoths · 05/03/2025 20:38

Soontobe60 · 05/03/2025 13:41

She’s 12, not a toddler. She should have gone to the school office and told them what happened and asked them to phone you. It’s pretty poor that her getting the bus wasn’t checked that there would actually be room on the bus. I assume it’s the school who should have done this. Also, give her a door key! Is she never allowed out unaccompanied?

Edited

She was on the side of the road, a bus ride away from school, with no phone. How should she have told school? You’re presumably an adult, not 12, what’s your explanation for the reading difficulty?

I’d go straight to a formal safeguarding complaint tbh.

Popfull · 05/03/2025 20:43

Needspaceforlego · 05/03/2025 19:35

I was reading it as the Op had left for work.
The DD saw herself out to school with the door self locking behind her, then walked to the bus stop.

I was thinking some sort of yale lock but some one else said some upvc doors self lock without a key too.

Which ever way it was done the DD has been put in a vulnerable position, unable to get back in the house, and unable to contact anyone.

I still think there is more to the story, like not having a ticket or evidence the bus is paid for, because she couldn't have been the only kid getting on at the bus stop, but she was the only one without a seat???

Yup

Soontobe60 · 05/03/2025 21:27

Completelyjo · 05/03/2025 15:30

Relax. It doesn’t say anything in the OP about what time it was. Even with the friends mum it just says she gave them a lift, not “to school”.

Show quote history

It says DD went to the meeting place, bus arrived and said there’s no space for her, then drove off. Amazingly a child who always gets the bus got off with DD and took her to their house and asked the mum to give them both a lift
DD and other child got off the bus, walked to the other girls house and her mum gave them both a lift. If it had been at the end of the day, they would have walked back into school!

Original poster
Pineapplepink · 05/03/2025 21:29

I thought my OP was fairly clear.
I drove DD to the place (village green 3miles from home-very rural) that had been agreed with the school to catch a school bus that is organised by the school with their own minibuses and drivers.
DD and the girl who got off the bus to help her, then walked back about half a mile to her home to ask for help from her mum.
Neither girls had their phones on them as school are quite strict about this and to be honest as I normally take DD it’s not been an issue but going forward I shall ensure she does.
It was fully agreed with school that she would be getting the bus and payment of it was discussed also-to be added to the termly bill.
We’ve had a chat tonight about what she could/would have done (bless her she had some good ideas but they were all very focused on getting to school and not necessarily putting her safety first eg walking along the back lanes with no pavement!) and we are going to put a key safe outside just in case. She does have her own key and bank card too although doesn’t normally take these to school either as I always collect her.
DD got on the bus to come home no problem at all, so it would seem the bus driver wasn’t aware she had a place this morning. I’m trying to make arrangements for the morning as do not trust the school bus.
I emailed the school raising my concerns and am yet to receive a response, although what good it will do now I don’t know.

OP posts:
HarrietPierce · 05/03/2025 21:32

Pineapplepink · Today 21:29

"I thought my OP was fairly clear."

It was.

Popfull · 05/03/2025 21:33

Couldn’t you have waited 5 mins until she was on the bus op?

Soontobe60 · 05/03/2025 21:34

ilovepixie · 05/03/2025 19:42

And how would she get to the school office! She was left at the side of the road miles away from school! Can you not read!

Show quote history

First post: DD went to the meeting place, bus arrived and said there’s no space for her, then drove off. Amazingly a child who always gets the bus got off with DD and took her to their house and asked the mum to give them both a lift

I think it’s you who can’t read.

Soontobe60 · 05/03/2025 21:38

Codlingmoths · 05/03/2025 20:38

She was on the side of the road, a bus ride away from school, with no phone. How should she have told school? You’re presumably an adult, not 12, what’s your explanation for the reading difficulty?

I’d go straight to a formal safeguarding complaint tbh.

Show quote history

Once again for the hard of reading - DD went to the meeting place, bus arrived and said there’s no space for her, then drove off. Amazingly a child who always gets the bus got off with DD and took her to their house and asked the mum to give them both a lift
The DD was at school, the friend’s mum notified the OP what had happened after she dropped the girls off at school. My comment suggested that she could have gone to the school office WHEN SHE ARRIVED to ask them to call her mum!
I agree there should be some sort of investigation. The DD should never have been put in this situation.

diddl · 05/03/2025 21:40

Popfull · 05/03/2025 21:33

Couldn’t you have waited 5 mins until she was on the bus op?

You'd think that the driver would have taken her even if didn't think thar she had a place.

Soontobe60 · 05/03/2025 21:40

Pineapplepink · 05/03/2025 21:29

I thought my OP was fairly clear.
I drove DD to the place (village green 3miles from home-very rural) that had been agreed with the school to catch a school bus that is organised by the school with their own minibuses and drivers.
DD and the girl who got off the bus to help her, then walked back about half a mile to her home to ask for help from her mum.
Neither girls had their phones on them as school are quite strict about this and to be honest as I normally take DD it’s not been an issue but going forward I shall ensure she does.
It was fully agreed with school that she would be getting the bus and payment of it was discussed also-to be added to the termly bill.
We’ve had a chat tonight about what she could/would have done (bless her she had some good ideas but they were all very focused on getting to school and not necessarily putting her safety first eg walking along the back lanes with no pavement!) and we are going to put a key safe outside just in case. She does have her own key and bank card too although doesn’t normally take these to school either as I always collect her.
DD got on the bus to come home no problem at all, so it would seem the bus driver wasn’t aware she had a place this morning. I’m trying to make arrangements for the morning as do not trust the school bus.
I emailed the school raising my concerns and am yet to receive a response, although what good it will do now I don’t know.

Hopefully they will tighten up their communications systems with the transport providers. I would be asking for reassurance that this will happen.

HarrietPierce · 05/03/2025 21:41

Soontobe60
"The DD was at school, the friend’s mum notified the OP what had happened after she dropped the girls off at school."

No The DD was at the side of the road waiting for the bus to take her to school.

diddl · 05/03/2025 21:42

diddl · 05/03/2025 21:40

You'd think that the driver would have taken her even if didn't think thar she had a place.

Edited
Show quote history

Sorry, Popful, quoted you by mistake.

Soontobe60 · 05/03/2025 21:42

diddl · 05/03/2025 21:40

You'd think that the driver would have taken her even if didn't think thar she had a place.

Edited
Show quote history

The only person who was at fault at the moment in time was the driver. Not mum, not her DD, not even the school. It was the driver who chose to leave her there instead of taking her to school.

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 05/03/2025 21:42

Seconding that your OP was clear. If I understood it then believe me, anyone can!

OP - my daughter wasn’t allowed on the school bus.
Replies - why didn’t your son shout for you? Do you live in the US or Australia? Why do your twins go to school anyway, you said they were toddlers.

Zippidydoodah · 05/03/2025 21:43

Goodness me. The lack of comprehension skills on here is astonishing.

Zippidydoodah · 05/03/2025 21:44

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 05/03/2025 21:42

Seconding that your OP was clear. If I understood it then believe me, anyone can!

OP - my daughter wasn’t allowed on the school bus.
Replies - why didn’t your son shout for you? Do you live in the US or Australia? Why do your twins go to school anyway, you said they were toddlers.

This is fantastic! 😂 (and accurate!)

HarrietPierce · 05/03/2025 21:44

Zippidydoodah · Today 21:43

"Goodness me. The lack of comprehension skills on here is astonishing."

It's crazy. How do these people get through life.

Ddakji · 05/03/2025 21:52

Your post was perfectly clear @Pineapplepink! some people appear to have been on the sauce early today.

I think it’s still worth flagging this up to the school as clearly this situation shouldn’t have happened.

Gogogo12345 · 05/03/2025 21:52

rwalker · 05/03/2025 14:39

Don’t understand why she didn’t go back to school she’s 12

then they could of sorted it out

Be cause the bus didn't pick her up to go there perhaps??