To be cross with school bus leaving

[Pineapplepink]

DD12 attends a private school that has a bus service. Due to various reasons, I asked school if she can get the bus for the rest of this week. All confirmed and ok. DD went to the meeting place, bus arrived and said there’s no space for her, then drove off. Amazingly a child who always gets the bus got off with DD and took her to their house and asked the mum to give them both a lift. I am so cross that school haven’t contacted me and I would be none the wiser had this other parent not let me know. Have left a message with school but I’m so cross and wonder if I’m unreasonable to be so cross. I’ve got a very stressful week so unsure if I’m over reacting and anyway not sure what they can do to rectify it now.

something similar happened to a friends child with a public bus - your daughter needs a phone ( sod school policy if she is travelling independently ) and a door key

I'm afraid after that debacle I would be insisting that she would carry a phone for emergencies and would be telling the school that it was caused their failure to communicate properly with the bus company. She was left in a very vulnerable position there.

@Soontobe60

Oh I see. It’s all about how long shes stood at the bus stop then
You seem to have forgotten what it's like to be 12

At that age things that adults arranged going wrong can really throw them. They are still learning to navigate life outside the home and on their own.
They can get really anxious when things go wrong and all it takes is a kindly person to offer them a ride....
in a vulnerable state even a smart kid can make dangerous choices. Shit I remember making some dubious choices in my very late teens and I was a very sensible young person

It’s so annoying that people don’t read the original post. The girl could have gone to the school office because her FRIEND got off the bus with her, THEY WALKED BACK TO THE FRIENDS HOUSE and the FRIENDS MUM drove them to school. The same MUM then phoned the OP and told her what had happened.
OK?

Bloody lovely of the other girl! Don't mean to derail but it's so heartening to hear of kindnesses like this

Why?

Op how did she lock the house without a key?

Are you saying she left the house empty and went to the bus stop?

Was there someone else at home who could have helped her out?

While I don't think the driver was right to drive off, I'm not sure what else I'd expect him to do. He will have assumed the last child would go home and seek help. Not that she's at the bus stop no phone and no key to get back in - please tell me you aren't just leaving a house locked with a Yale latch - something else that's gone the way of horse n cart

I'm not sure how much a phone could be except from alerting a parent to a problem... many parents are miles away at work, with or without a car, when a school bus problem would arise.

I think the girl who got off was very sensible if she knew her parent was definitely at home.

However the most sensible thing would be the bus system having a policy for what to donif an unexpected child is there.

I don’t understand why you can’t read the thread properly. She was on her way TO school not FROM school.

You seem to have forgotten what it's like to be 12
At that age things that adults arranged going wrong can really throw them.

yes - sadly it's why you often need back up like home keys and mobiles and sometimes cash and to talk though alternative plans.

In 90s before mobiles were common we were rural and relient on buses which didn't always turn up and school even when it was evening run was comepletly disinterested and often wouldn't let us call home from reception. We had to carry change and know routes to other bus routes/stops and pay phones.

It sounds like OP usually drives her DD - so doesn't usually have to consider others letting her down.

She right to complain - to school and bus comapny - and hopefully they can also imporve communciation and procedures. I'd also areguse stringly with school a switch off mobile is needed as safey device as they have managed to demonstrate.

Which is why she needs her phone. I really doubt the school’s no phones policy means kids travelling independently to school can’t have their phone with them on the bus, but the OP needs to check that out. If the school runs buses it suggests that plenty of kids are not within walking distance to the school.

Relax. It doesn’t say anything in the OP about what time it was. Even with the friends mum it just says she gave them a lift, not “to school”.

Loads of front doors lock if you just close them behind you. Some UPVC or composite ones just need the handle lifting to lock them.

Anyway OP , I hope you bought the young friend and her mum some chocolates for their kindness.

Oh come on, the OP said “Amazingly a child who always gets the bus got off with DD and took her to their house and asked the mum to give them both a lift”.

Why would the child be on the bus home from school if it was within walking distance of their house and why would the same child ask their mum to give them both a lift?!

Pretty bloody obvious!

Home from the bus stop if her friend hadn’t helped her out.

Yes OP I’d be annoyed too. Was the bus actually full? Or the driver just wouldn’t let her on because she wasn’t on the list? Either way something’s gone wrong, and what will you do the rest of the week now?

So glad your DD has a lovely kind friend (and mum!) who was able to help her out

Agree that it’s probably time for a key and a phone and a wee talk on what to do when things don’t go to plan.

I was always able to walk to school so I never had these issues, but my kids will be navigating buses for secondary soon enough. And the distances are far since we live rurally. Thankfully we have family and friends nearby so I’m hoping that we have plenty of help on hand if things go wrong!

No. If her friend hadn’t got off she’d have been stranded. She couldn’t get into her house (no key - I think she should probably have one, but she doesn’t). It’s too far to walk to school. She had no phone to call a parent or anyone else.

Contact the school who should then contact the mother?

No, it’s kind of obvious. She’s talking about this morning in the first instance, and then she saying that they would presumably have the same problem in the afternoon. Given the school hadn’t contacted her.

No.
The bus she couldn’t get was TO school, not FROM.
The walking home described here is from the school bus stop back to home when she wasn’t allowed on the bus.

The school has a no phones policy. It’s in the OP.

She wasn’t at school. The bus that didn’t pick her up was the one GOING to school.

@Soontobe60

It’s so annoying that people don’t read the original post. The girl could have gone to the school office because her FRIEND got off the bus with her, THEY WALKED BACK TO THE FRIENDS HOUSE and the FRIENDS MUM drove them to school. The same MUM then phoned the OP and told her what had happened.

What's annoying is your complete lack of understanding of how young people vs adults think and work.

No 12 year old would go to the school office to make an official complaint. Even if they told the office it's far less likely they'll do much. This is why PARENTS have to PARENT and do the adulting.

Of course the OP should contact the school. That's how things work.

No, she couldn’t have gone BACK to the school office with or without the friend. The bus to take her to school didn’t arrive. A friend got off and the friend’s mum took them to school. It’s very, very clear in the OP. She didn’t go to the office once she was at school I imagine because the debacle had made them a bit late and they ran to class.

It’s pretty clear though. If they were on the way home and instead walked to a friend’s house (why would she be on a bus if a walk home would be that easy?) then the friend wouldn’t need a lift anywhere, would she. She’d be at home.