To be cross with school bus leaving

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DD12 attends a private school that has a bus service. Due to various reasons, I asked school if she can get the bus for the rest of this week. All confirmed and ok. DD went to the meeting place, bus arrived and said there’s no space for her, then drove off. Amazingly a child who always gets the bus got off with DD and took her to their house and asked the mum to give them both a lift. I am so cross that school haven’t contacted me and I would be none the wiser had this other parent not let me know. Have left a message with school but I’m so cross and wonder if I’m unreasonable to be so cross. I’ve got a very stressful week so unsure if I’m over reacting and anyway not sure what they can do to rectify it now.

It irritates me no end when people offer 'advice' having not read the original post thoroughly. It sounds like the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing - and whoever agreed to the bus - did not organise it or assumed it would be ok.
On the positive side at least she has a nice friend.
I would suggest she takes her phone in future in case she needs to get hold of you as long as it is off in lessons presumably there is not an outright ban.
Secondly a key kept somewhere safe if she ever needs to get in and your not there although I would have thought at secondary school most kids have a front door key.

It's so annoying that people don't read the original post. The girl couldn't have gone into the school office because she hadn't been able to get on the bus to GO TO school. Se couldn't phone her Mum because the school has a NO PHONES policy. I've come across this sort of inattention in real life, where the person to whom you're making a complaint doesn't listen and proceeds to give you a solution which is unsuitable.

Was there a miscommunication about the booking process? Our school has a bus service but there's an online booking system and you have to book a place. Still unacceptable of the bus driver.

i’d be feeling really upset by this. She’s only 12. Not all 12 year olds are worldly and able to think through solutions to something they are totally unfamiliar with.
presumably you’d arranged the bus, talked her through it and someone (not you) messed up. That’s not ok and she’s fortunate that her friend helped her.
yes she should ideally have had her phone however.

Surely she would have been locked out for even longer if she got the bus home?

Back in the 70s there were pay phones all over the place and my mum always ensured we had change for it and also a code we would use that didn’t cost anything.

Not the case now, so a silly analogy to make. Lots of bus stops don’t have the timetable so apps are needed to help kids plan.

Is the bus an actual minibus belonging to the school or contracted out to another company?
Do you have confirmation that you booked (and I assume paid) for transport?
If it's a contractor they might not have an updated list, in which case it's poor communication between them and the school, or it could even be that the school said it was fine but not informing you it's another company you need to make the booking with.

Either way I think the driver could have been more helpful in terms of ringing the school, especially as she didn't have a phone.

Op ok the school have screwed up over booking the bus.

But what was Plan B?
You're leaving her pretty vulnerable no phone, and no key?
The days of phone boxes are over long gone.

I have no doubt you'll be one of the parents who think phones are the devil's work and who have argued that they aren't necessary.
It's 2025 kids need to be able to get intouch if their is an issue.
Phone boxes have gone the way of horse n carts, something old folk look at and say remember them!

Don’t understand why she didn’t go back to school she’s 12

then they could of sorted it out

Three parties at fault here who all need to learn from it and adjust procedures.

The school needs to have a process in place to tell the bus company additional students will be using the service and to check there will be room.

The driver needs training in safeguarding so he doesn't leave young girls stranded.

You need to give your daughter the tools to handle situations like this, including a key and a phone for emergencies.

Op's daughter did nothing wrong & although she can be spoken to about what to do in the future, it was surely up to the adult to make arrangements here.

Had she missed the bus through leaving the house late, messing about on the way to the stop that would be a different scenario.

It would seem that the other girl didn't have a phone either or she would have contacted her mum & waited with Op's daughter I would have thought.

I should imagine that her mum is pretty pissed off that she was allowed off the bus!

She wasn't at school so she couldn't go back to it!

Oh my giddy aunt. Half the responses on this thread must be written by AI I seriously cannot believe half the people who have responded lack such basic bloody reading skills to understand that the child in question was ON HER WAY TO SCHOOL, IS NOT ALLOWED HER PHONE DUE TO SCHOOL RULES (many schools confiscate and keep to end of term) and wouldn't have been able to contact anyone because of this. Pages 1 and 2 were painful to read!!!

Yes OP, this is a big school failing and I'd be very unhappy as well they've left your daughter on the side of the road. (It's a school bus, there isn't just another bus coming 5 mins later like some other posters have suggested ffs)

The OP is really very clear. The child wasn’t allowed on the bus to GO to school so “go back to school” was not an option.

As for everyone saying she should have a phone, personally I do agree BUT schools can and do ban phones. My son was not allowed to have a phone on him in school. Checks were made and any student found to have a phone (even turned off and in bottom of bag) would have the phone confiscated and a detention. The only way to get the phone back was for the parent to meet with a member of staff and agree to the no phones rule.

because it was the bus TO TAKE HER to school.

OP was at work, DD had either been dropped, or walked to the school bus pick up point as ARRANGED with the school. She was left there by the driver who refused to take her.

Did you not understand the OP? This was in the morning so on the street.

Yes, in the afternoon.. after the school day.

Yep that's pretty bad and I'd be making an official complaint. If she had no phone and no key to get back in the house she'd have been in a right pickle.

But - This happened to dd once when she forgot her school buss pass (despite the fact they don't ask to see it half the time and that the driver knew her as she'd been getting the bus for a year at that point and it was a regular driver ). Luckily we were home but he didn't know that and I was livid that the stupid idiot would just leave a 12yo at the side of the road. We complained but nothing came of it - they know they've got you over a barrel when you need their service to get your child to school.

I think it usually depends on whether you get a decent bus driver or not - there are twats in every profession.

Something similar happened (many many years ago) when I was in the first year at school, so 11/12. I was an extremely sensible child, but absolutely panicked and ended up going home in floods of tears - partly because I was upset about missing the bus, panicking about how to deal with it because I knew my mum wasn't at home, and extremely stressed about the fact that I would be in trouble for missing my first class where we had an important test that day and it had been drummed into us that we had to do well in it. I ended up going to a neighbours house, but it still sticks in my mind as an unpleasant experience. When you're 12, you're still just learning how to navigate the world, and small things can feel like a big scary deal.

This

Thank you I was trying to work out how to put this. I'm not sure if OP's DD has notified reception that the bus didn't pick her up and that she is only there and not left abandoned due to the kindness of another pupil. She was probably a bit unnerved and has gone to classes.

School possibly doesn't know that bus didn't pick her up as she's there in school

You seem to have completely misread the OP

This basicly.

Checking with the school really should have been enough but clearly something gone wrong. I do get why you are annoyed - I would be.

DC school doesn't technically allow phones but they are allowed to have them off in their bags as many do get in by bus. My DC have been able to manage keys from 11 - but if that's not possible then a lock box somewhere discrete for emergencies might be an option.

Hopefully this won't happen again but giving her tools to manage situation if it does in morning - can only be a good thing - and hopefully school has sorted pick up this evening ( though again a back up plan there she can call taxi/walk to another bus stop and some cash isn't a terrible idea either ).

Painful is right. Such strong opinions without the first understanding of what they're talking about... completely baseless assertions based on a total misreading of a very simple post.