My beloved pet is becoming a problem

[99problems99]

Firstly I’m fully aware of the fact ‘a pet is for life’. So please be kind i am desperate for some
constructive advice.

4 years (almost 5), I purchased a pedigree British long hair cat. She is the most beautiful girl, she was welcomed into the home and we love her. She was from a reputable registered breeder and cost me £950. Money wasn’t the issue I just dreamed of her for so long.

From the start she was always very particular with food.. no problem.. I just chopped and changed when she lost interest. She’s had the best of the best since the day she arrived. She’s groomed every day, she has lots of toys, up to date with vaccinations and is solely indoor. She has treats and cuddles (when she allows). She’s always been a little anti social and doesn’t like ‘new people’ until she has investigated them fully. Some she decides she doesn’t like at all and can be quite snappy and scratchy.

When she arrived my now 9DS was 4. They were fine together.. I’ve since had another boy who is 18m. She is awful to him. I’ve taught gim
to be gentle, he’s noisy of course but she used to just leave the room. Now it’s like she’s antagonistic towards him. I watch his every move but she has snarled at him and has scratched lightly twice. I’m on edge all of the time.

I teapot of course love her, but the safety of my son is paramount, I can’t settle knowing she may just get so fed up of him and hurt him. I suppose as he gets older this might settle but I don’t know what to do.

any advice is welcomed and please be kind this is breaking my heart I wouldn’t even know where to start if I ever considered rehoming her. I have posted in some local groups I am in for her breed and people have been so horrible.. as if i am saying she’s disposable now I have another child.. it’s not the case but I have to be realistic.

YABU- thinking of rehoming
YANBU- completely understandable to re home.

thanks for reading.

The world has gone completely mad.

I'm assuming this was to me.

Clealry I know my baby wasn't doing anything wrong. She was laid on the floor and the cat walked past. Just fuck off with your implication that I risked my child's eyesight etc. what if what if what fucking if.

As for the cat attacking the baby. Grow up.

Keep your sadness for kids who are abused and harmed in the real sense.

Is she a Maine coon op? Ours is quite skittish and aloof and absolutely not a fan of young children! He does go out which has made him much more chilled out than when he was a house cat

My cat just randomly bats me sometimes, when I am sitting on the sofa, for absolutely no reason other than he felt like doing it. Their behaviour can be quite whimsical sometimes.

It’s not the cats fault, nor is it the child's fault; children make unpredictable movements and noises which can startle the cat. And sometimes cats are just grumpy, like us.

As the cat gets used to the newest child, it’ll learn to ignore the child and peace will resume. In the meantime, just try to keep them apart unless you are there too.

My children were raised with cats and dogs. There were a few scratches here and there but they all learned and survived. Keep your lovely cat (and child), they will all be okay.

Hello, first of all you are not being unreasonable. We had a similar situation with a dog and a toddler. We managed it for two years between myself and my husband, but it was extremely trying.

There is nothing wrong with prioritising yourself and your family, and rehoming the cat with someone who will love it and care for it. Some of the comments here are somewhat judgemental.

as an exhausted Mum you should be able to leave your child in a highchair with something to eat and go in the other room for a minute, without being fearful of a cat coming in & scratching your child. If there really is no more you can do, then you need to prioritise yourself and your family, and give that cat to a loving home. Someone will adore it. The poor cat clearly isn’t happy in your home as it is.

You prioritising yourself & your family is the correct thing to do. You should not prioritise a cat, who can be adopted elsewhere, above your family’s safety and your own mental health.

sending best wishes

@SquashedSquid I agree with you that people should consider whether they might have kids in the next X years when getting a pet and consider whether it's the right thing to do. However , OP's family are where they are on that and surely they have to consider the child's safety?

Hasn't it just. It really is madness when people treat living, breathing beings as disposable commodities when they can no longer be arsed with them. It says a lot about that type of person, though.

Well, they haven't provided very basic things to help the cat, so perhaps that should be the first option. Also, safety? It's a cat, not a lion.

@SquashedSquid I adore my dog. I will be so devastated whenever she dies. But it is so completely incomparable to the love for a child. Someone I know's 12 year old died in an accident. She will never ever be the same again, will never be over it etc. it is very offensive to say the love is the same.

You're offended by the way I feel? I'm afraid that's your problem. You don't get to say how my feelings are distributed, or how I should feel. My pets are members of my family and are deserving of equal love. I'm not sure why you'd have an issue with someone caring about their animals. What a bizarre concept.

Can you build a catio in your garden for her, attached to a door or window so she can get in and out? I bet she would be entertained watching the World go by and spend a lot of time in it, but she would still be safe.

If she is not using her claws then she isn't being spiteful. You need to keep them apart really but I'd not rehome her just yet. You are allowed to love them both, it's just different and of course, if things got nasty, you would have to seriously think of rehoming.

I think she's bored. If she had more to do then she would be less likely to sit around with your toddler.

OP you simply MUST do what is right for you and your children. Don’t listen to the holier-than-thous who haven’t walked a day in your shoes. Your son should feel safe and welcome in his own home. Similarly, your cat obviously isn't enjoying the home life you are providing. It’s not your fault - we are too sentimental when it comes to animals and fail to consider they have their own personalities and preferences and sometimes the only home life we are able to provide is simply not a good match, and it’s in their best interest to be rehomed to a more enjoyable environment for their sake.

A cat behaving that way around my kids would be rehomed to a more appropriate environment.

I can only surmise that for some people, they do feel the exact same way about their kids as they do their animals. That's definitely not the case for many (most?) other people. I guess we're all made differently if this is a real view. I would sacrifice my life for my children but not any pets, so for me there's no basis at all for any comparison but it seems other people would do the same for both pets and their children.

They are property though, aren't they? 🤔

Speak to the breeder, a good honest reputable person would want their kitten back. I breed dogs and it’s in my contract that if they need to rehome I get first refusal so please approach and ask them before you look for a new home

Your child comes first. Humans come first.

It doesn’t sound like she’s done anything too bad yet, although it’s obvious she doesn’t like him. I would maybe give it another year and then, if she’s still responding to him like that, then rehome her.

Yes it’ll be sad, but there will be plenty of loving homes wanting to take her and it’s not fair for your son to grow up feeling scared in his own home.

Kids always come before pets, for anyone to argue otherwise is, quite frankly, off their rocker.

Agree with this.

I know MN seems to be against cats being outside but unless you live on a main road, in which case I think it's unwise to get a cat, I think it's unfair to keep an animal permanently inside when it needs the stimulation that hunting and pouncing and being outside brings.

It's very possible that the cat is frustrated from not being able to fulfil it's natural behaviour needs and the lack of stimulation..

Your priorities are all wrong. Feel the way you feel, of course, but you’re in the vast minority and no one should be made to feel guilty for putting their child above their pet.

I can assure you, my pets come before anyone else's random children. If I had to save my dog, or a random child, I'd save my dog every time.

Well then, you’re in the minority and I fully question your decision making skills. Lots of adults make poor decisions in lots of areas of life, you do with animals.

Nope, my priorities are right, actually. If I've brought a living being into my home, be it animal or child, they are my responsibility to care for while they're under my roof. They aren't mine to offload on someone else.

An animal is not disposable any more than a child is. If there are issues, you work through them. Well, decent people do.

@SquashedSquid k

I agree with this. Our cat gets feisty when she is bored…we just let her outside to hunt the rodentia.

I've never made any poor decisions relating to animals. I'm sorry that you feel that someone committing themselves to an animal they chose to bring into their family, for the life of that animal, is somehow making poor decisions. There are actually many of us who value our pets, though. Most people I know would be horrified at dumping an animal they've given a home to. Again, it seems to only be on Mumsnet where animals are seen as objects and not creatures with feelings.

Are you serious?