To Object to my Colleague Harping on About Me Being British?

[BaMamma]

I spent most of my adult life in North London and moved to the Pacific Northwest nearly 7 years ago so naturally pretty much everyone I work with is American. Sometimes I say something that denotes me as British, calling elevators lifts, or saying, 'I can't be faffed' to do something and we all have a good laugh, fair enough. However, I have one colleague who keeps commenting on it and it's starting to get to me.

For example, as part of a work committee, I had to do an 'icebreaker' activity for our team, and he sent a Teams message commenting that he was surprised at this as I was British. Afterwards he sent a message saying I'd done well despite being British and referring to me as a 'limey', he then went on to explain the term and tell me about his interest in British Naval History!

I messaged back saying I knew the term as my brother had been bullied with it when we were kids, commenting that 'kids can be so xenophobic', thinking that would be a big enough hint. But, no, he came back saying 'he came by it honestly' as his great grandmother came from X place in Britain!

I'm starting to feel weirdly 'othered' by this, am I being oversensitive?

YABU: you're being oversensitive, just let it slide
YANBU: that's annoying, address it directly

Sorry if I missed it OP, but how old is this man? You said your brother was bullied in school 55 years ago, is he a lot older than you or are you and this annoying man you’re describing in your 50’s/60’s? I hope that’s not a rude thing to ask

It can be really annoying, especially when you are constantly reminded of something that you don't consider important in your daily life. Perhaps you should tell him directly that you don't like such comments?

YANBU I had the exact same thing when I lived in Australia, and it was one of the reasons I wanted to come back to the uk. One colleague just never let it go, commenting on every sporting event England lost etc and it was so annoying. I never minded a bit of gentle teasing but in the end it just made me feel isolated and excluded in a country I was trying to make my home. One guy really laid into me about us “coming over here”…I wish I’d spoken up and told them how it made me feel.

I’m nearly 60, he’s a similar age.

Sounds like a playground boy picking on the girl he likes 😂He's fascinated by you and is probably a closet anglophile, and taking the mick is his way of getting your attention and enjoying your 'Britishness'. It's NOT ok if it's making you uncomfortable, I think you need to have a gentle word with him to let him know how it's making you feel. But I don't think it's coming from a bad or bullying place, IYGWIM.

I’m getting this whole thing wrong. Im going to blame it on me having the flu. Sorry, my mind is making blanks. Clinic tmrw for antibiotics. I keep getting worse. I hope you figure it out with him.

Who's 45?

I live in the US and am British and barely a day goes by when someone doesn't comment on my accent and this is after almost 20 years. I just accept that it's normal but I think it would bug the crap out of me if I was at work and this happened. The only time I have actually addressed it was when my kids were expected to say the word, "banana" 10000000 times a day when we first moved here and I called the Principal of the school and told them to get it stopped. A British accent is the only one that is deemed culturally acceptable to mock in my experience.

I thought you said you were 45 but it doesn’t make a difference. He’s making you uncomfortable and you have to kick him where it hurts.maybe, this thread is making my head spin, and I wish I had an English accent. I grew up on Long Island. Imagine the crap I get from my Long Island accent. It’s not funny. But whatever

But people love it, but I get getting sick of hearing it.

Do you have HR where you can raise it? Some Americans are obsessed with their heritage even when their ancestors moved 200 years ago!

do you sit next to anyone and say next time a message comes in - what do you think about this?
he’s dumb enough to write it all down.

Thanks, my daughter experienced this a lot when we were first here. Now when people start, she tells them she's Australian and has a whole 'bit' about it.

Only the Irish. You know it from the day you meet them. At least where I live but practically everyone in New York has Irish heritage. Lots of Italians also and the Jewish population. My daughter in law is Jewish. And nobody cares here.we’re all just New Yorkers or Americans.

See, I told you I had the flu. I’m mixed up.im in agony

Feel better soon

Thank you, I’m really going down fast.

Aspirin and plenty of fluids!! Stay warm.

God yes the word banana, North Americans find the English pronunciation hilarious!!

I will say that I don't think it's all mocking, Americans just seem to love English accents (and can't tell them apart so it doesn't matter if you sound like Colin Firth or Paul McCartney) but it does get tiring.

Irish-Americans get picked on a bit, but yes, they tend to be the ones who talk about ancestry the most. Italians are certainly proud to be Italian, but often are more tied to their bit of the country. Jews (I am one!) regard being Jewish as our ethnicity in any case.