To Object to my Colleague Harping on About Me Being British?

[BaMamma]

I spent most of my adult life in North London and moved to the Pacific Northwest nearly 7 years ago so naturally pretty much everyone I work with is American. Sometimes I say something that denotes me as British, calling elevators lifts, or saying, 'I can't be faffed' to do something and we all have a good laugh, fair enough. However, I have one colleague who keeps commenting on it and it's starting to get to me.

For example, as part of a work committee, I had to do an 'icebreaker' activity for our team, and he sent a Teams message commenting that he was surprised at this as I was British. Afterwards he sent a message saying I'd done well despite being British and referring to me as a 'limey', he then went on to explain the term and tell me about his interest in British Naval History!

I messaged back saying I knew the term as my brother had been bullied with it when we were kids, commenting that 'kids can be so xenophobic', thinking that would be a big enough hint. But, no, he came back saying 'he came by it honestly' as his great grandmother came from X place in Britain!

I'm starting to feel weirdly 'othered' by this, am I being oversensitive?

YABU: you're being oversensitive, just let it slide
YANBU: that's annoying, address it directly

No it’s ok.

You latch on to the important things…

Well, yes, I do think using the word 'racism' accurately is important, actually. Not sure why anyone would disagree with that?

Ok.

🙄

Had similar being a person born and brought up in the north of England but lived in London now for over 30 years. Believe me, having someone continually imitate your accent every time you open your mouth in a meeting is not "friendly bantz". It's designed to silence and demean you.

Tell him to drop it every time he starts. If he still doesn't get it tell him to substitute "black " for British and to just play back to himself how that sounds.

If he persists have a word with your manager as that's deliberate bullying.

I’ve lived in the US for over thirty years, and have been at my current job for fifteen. My colleagues still comment on my accent! Never been called a limey though.

I'm British and have never heard the term 'limey' before

I’m Scottish but live in England and the type of people who just will not leave it alone, who copy my accent and make snide comments are not in short supply. In two previous workplaces it was constant. It’s not fun and it’s not cute banter. I am better at shutting it down these days.

My husband is English and works remotely for a US company. One coworker will keep imitating his accent over Teams and giggling, how he tolerates it I don’t know. Ridiculous as the coworker is a nasally, over-the-top transwoman and it must take zero self awareness to realise how intensely irritating that voice is, but that’s another story…🙄

You wouldn't unless you were interested in British Naval History! The British ate limes on cross Atlantic journeys to prevent scurvy.

Report his behaviour to your manager or HR. I’m pretty sure they don’t accept workplace racism. Tell them you expect them to put a stop to it.

When he does it and timing is right …. And with good eye contact
”colleague … you need to … tone it down … with the British slurs. It’s getting boring “.

…. then if he keeps doing it. “Colleague you are boring us, find a new topic”

and if he keeps going it … talk to manager … this guy is annoying, and would not do same thing if you were from China, Zambia or Cuba because it would be racist.

Limey is a well known nickname for the English/British used by Americans.

I'm not surprised by a British person under 40 not knowing it, it's getting kind of archaic

Can we please learn the difference between xenophobia and racism please.

I get this. I've lived in other countries where I felt like I was always having to justify living there. Always having to talk about it and explain it. It drove me nuts. I just wanted to buy some apples or take my child to swimming lessons without have to talk about why I lived there.

U.S. discrimination law prohibits employers from discriminating against employees or job applicants based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability, or genetic information. These laws apply to all types of work situations, including hiring, firing, promotions, harassment, training, wages, and benefits.

National origin …& harassment are the key terms for OP.

I’m American living in New York and the word limey is such an uncommon word used here it’s not even funny. That’s is so untrue. It’s not even in an everyday vocabulary thing.

Yes.

If your company has values, could you do an ethics or DEI moment in a team meeting using your Britishness as an example of how it can be divisive rather than inclusive to keep pointing out a protected characteristic such as race, colour, creed, etc etc
you are not being unreasonable. But in all honesty, if it makes you uncomfortable I would suggest you keep things light when having to interact with the guy for work and otherwise very much keep your distance.
don’t respond to any of the Teams messages. Only direct responses to actual work related questions or issues. Ignore anything else. Hopefully that will stop it. But, If he doesn’t stop, do politely let him know that you would prefer to integrate and not keep being involved in conversation about your Britishness.

Where, cause I’ve never heard any one speak like in my whole 68 years of living in New York unless you no some pretty shady people.no one talks like that here.

Welcome to my world. I’m from the US but have lived in England for 24 years, virtually my entire adult life, and I still get comments all the time about my accent, words I use, people looking down their nose at me, judging me based on whatever is going on with US politics, imitating my accent to my face, asking how my family members voted and if they’re fat, do they have passports, and so on. Even got spat on once during the Iraq War.

Xenophobia is tiresome, annoying, and downright rude. He probably doesn’t mean any harm but it’s the impact that matters, not the intent. Tell him to back off or embarrass him into not messing with you again.

That's odd, my mother, an American, has lived in the UK for 50 some years and has rarely, if ever, experienced this kind of xenophobia.

I didn't mind the Romans actually, or indeed the French.
What is embarrassing is equalling limey with the P word, it's just not on the same level. Its more like having banter with the Aussies about whinging poms
I understand OP doesn't like it and fair enough for her to tell him she doesn't.

Good for her

You need to just take it and laugh it off, or tell him to fuck off "cos that's British too".

Sorry he's a pain in the butt. That's American, no?

mm, American friends definitely experienced it, sometimes outright, sometimes "jokes" that have that edge to it that you find hard to object to without looking humourless.

I'm British & live in the USA. There's no use being subtle here. Say it outright. He will probably get offended and make some excuse along the lines of "I was only making conversation!" Then if he does it again report it to your manager. It is considered harassment on the basis of national origin.