To Object to my Colleague Harping on About Me Being British?

[BaMamma]

I spent most of my adult life in North London and moved to the Pacific Northwest nearly 7 years ago so naturally pretty much everyone I work with is American. Sometimes I say something that denotes me as British, calling elevators lifts, or saying, 'I can't be faffed' to do something and we all have a good laugh, fair enough. However, I have one colleague who keeps commenting on it and it's starting to get to me.

For example, as part of a work committee, I had to do an 'icebreaker' activity for our team, and he sent a Teams message commenting that he was surprised at this as I was British. Afterwards he sent a message saying I'd done well despite being British and referring to me as a 'limey', he then went on to explain the term and tell me about his interest in British Naval History!

I messaged back saying I knew the term as my brother had been bullied with it when we were kids, commenting that 'kids can be so xenophobic', thinking that would be a big enough hint. But, no, he came back saying 'he came by it honestly' as his great grandmother came from X place in Britain!

I'm starting to feel weirdly 'othered' by this, am I being oversensitive?

YABU: you're being oversensitive, just let it slide
YANBU: that's annoying, address it directly

It’s only one way with her and she makes it up as she sees fit. I’m out of this.

I'm sorry it's happening to you, but it's just not been a major part of her life in the UK.

On the other hand, as an 'undercover' American (no accent) I do recall feeling hugely relieved when Obama was elected, and it felt okay to be an American abroad again.

I'm agreeing with you, it's extremely uncommon, archaic even. It was used on my brother in Canada 55 years ago and it's weird to have this guy at work bring it up as a 'humorous' insult.

I have no idea what this means or who you are.

I think she misunderstood something I said early in the thread. Leastways, her response was confusing.

He sounds like a pain.

Nevermind

@Timeandemotion they aren't pointing out you come from somewhere else, they are taking an interest in you?! My Dad has lived in Scotland for over 50 years and still gets asked about his home country and he loves it, so long as it's out of genuine interest about why he came here etc. My name is from his country and so I've had 46 years of being asked about it. No issue, it's not done out of malice, just interest.

In this case though he would be right. I have never met a British person who likes ice breakers. Do Americans like them?

It's not a matter of liking them, it's my ability, as a British person, to lead one that he was questioning.

Yes I do realise that. Do Americans like them though or do they (as over here) groan when someone mentions the word?

They seemed to enjoy the one I'd devised for the meeting. We were handing out those flip charts with availability messages on them; busy, be right back, do not disturb, &c, so I asked people to find a message for a few scenarios I offered, and it was fun* to see the different choices people made.

*more fun than a poke in the eye with a hot stick

No,

What's your issue? I said, "I'm not surprised by a British person under 40 not knowing it, it's getting kind of archaic" and you commented I was wrong because it's unknown. And you keep coming back. What is your problem?

I’m sorry, I read your thread and I apologize.

I hate to say it but do you think he might in his little mind be flirting with you bc this is weird

Can you say something like “being British is the least interesting thing about me, please can we stop mentioning it during every conversation we have?”

I fear that may be the case, but he's not a little boy pulling my pigtails, he's a full-grown man, and if that's the way he shows interest he's out of luck.

weirder things have happened

I don’t know who you are either but this thread open to everyone with opinions and advice.

Men never grow up and I mean never. It sounds like he thinks he’s impressing you. I hope you have some one or mentor to talk to about this bc its not appropriate for him to be talking to you that.

I hope he doesn’t own the company.

I've met a few people here who genuinely like them, but far more who don't. We are forced to do them anyway because there is some corporate handbook that insists they're a good idea. It's the artificiality of it.

@SALaw
I identify as Scottish - I vote for pro independence parties , support the Scotland sports teams, and I've had 2 Scottish husbands and I have a Scottish son. I've not visited the area I was born in England since my mother died nearly 30 years ago. I visit England very rarely. When I do visit it is a foreign country to me.

So when people immediately pick up on my English accent I know that most of the time it's not done with malice. But they make assumptions about me and assume I hold views and indeed have knowledge about England that I just don't have.

So I feel an outsider and a foreigner in England. But in Scotland I'm identified as a stranger because of my accent. The effect on me is that I feel like a stateless person who belongs nowhere.

Ironically my son, who is proudly Scottish, very much picked up my English accent. And when he went to school used to get very upset by other pupils asking him if he was English and teasing him. He still gets people assuming he is because of his accent, although he has learned to put on a more Scottish accent in certain situations.

So I'm glad your Dad enjoys being asked about his home country. I'm glad he finds it a positive experience. But I dont.
I recognise a lot of people asking me about my accent are often trying to be friendly and polite but it just makes me feel as though all the time I'm marked out as not fitting in.

I’m Scottish, moved to the North of England 50 years ago. I’m happy to tell people when they ask where I’m from. It’s never felt like a negative, more that they’re interested. The occasional parody of the accent, usually funny!