Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

So, what fancy holiday or sporting activity are you wanting people to pay for him to go on, then?

If I want to donate, I do it directly to the charity rather than a just giving link where they are going to take a percentage. That might be a reason.

You haven't answered what the challenge is OP.

I’ve been asked to ‘sponsor’ mountain climbs in Morocco and Spain, to raise money for charities in the UK. I’m not keen to fund someone’s overseas jolly so I wouldn’t sponsor those sorts of activities as it feels more like you are contributing to a holiday.

I never sponsor anything

I must be honest, I never sponsor even good friends for runs, tough mudders, sky dives etc......it's a faff to do online and I don't want to be forever receiving emails from the charities. I don't want to part with my hard earned money every time one of these things comes up (almost weekly in my experience). I only give to charities I want to support when I want to support them. I don't think it's something to take personally. I'm a bit more generous if it's a kid but even then I have my limits.

This

What's the nature of the challenge? If it's something useful, say, a litter-pick in your local park, I'd sponsor him. If it's a sport/hobby/adventure thing, I wouldn't.

You get your sponsors on tbe day with events like these. You’ll get the odd few trickle in at first but the real sponsorship flood happens on the day of the event.

If OP has sponsored the kids would it really hurt the parents to send her DH a tenner? I wouldn't bother sponsoring the kids in future.

Jesus Christ, this thread has really opened my eyes to how mean spirited people are

Your husbands thing isn’t until April, that’s at least 4 weeks away. I wouldn’t sponsor someone so far in advance. I might do it a couple of days before but more likely the day of the event or just after.

I don't like the idea of feeling like you have to sponsor someone because they once upon a time they sponsored your kids.

charity should be selfless not expected

YABU

Are you doing his PR?
Could explain his lack of sponsors.

I give to charity anyway, I don’t need adults to exercise to encourage me to do so.

I do sponsor kids in doing charitable raising though….because they are children.

Sorry OP but I’ve reached the point in my life where spring no longer brings a flurry of wedding invitations but instead an avalanche of JustGiving links for the London marathon. I don’t mind sponsoring a few but tbh I’d rather most of them were honest that they are asking me to contribute to their mid-life crisis.

It is crap that people are not reciprocating your generosity, however. I would be pissed off at that too.

I was kind of on your side for a minute, and it sounds like a good thing that your DH is doing his 'thing' for, but you do sound breathtakingly entitled @Primmyhill And you sound very angry that people aren't doing what you think they should be doing. Life isn't transactional, and you don't do something, or give something, and expect - indeed demand - that people 'pay you back.'

Do you have a child going on a trip to Africa anytime soon, to 'help' the villagers build a school? 😬

Oh FFS.

I'm assuming your DH is not a child so you're not comparing like with like.

In the past I haven't sponsored people because -

The volume of requests started to annoy me

I didn't see why I should give money to someone else's chosen charity while they continued on their own fitness journey for their own benefit

I was also doing the exact same 'challenge' and thought the person was joking

I didn't feel any connection to the charity

As a real life example.... my old work place (a kid's hospital) had an sponsored abseiling event to raise money. Minimum was £25, and in the small print, it was clear that the £25 went to the company providing the staff etc for the actual abseiling. Anything more went to charity.
Several of my workmate went round asking for money "for charity" so they could have a go. They stopped asking after they raised £25, funnily enough.
I had a go, and used my own money instead of being a CF and expecting other people to pay for me under the guise of charity.

Why are you sponsoring your friends kids to walk around the playground? I would only sponsor a family members kid for that kind of thing. I hate sponsoring people because the type of people who want sponsoring don’t just do one thing, there’s a new sponsorship request every couple of months so they can do a marathon or whatever where they can’t get a place without doing it for charity.

You’re right of course but the big events are huge for the charities - they bring in donations that wouldn’t otherwise come in atall.

I didn't use any sponsorship money to pay my marathon entry fee - that came out of my own pocket - as it should. Nor did the charity stage the event I did, or pay to put it on. I didn’t see any of the donation money as if you use an agent like just giving it goes straight to the charity. Wasn’t a “go fund me” which might be different. So I guess it depends. But yes the charities do use donation money to print running vests etc so there is leakage.

I think money is much tighter now for most families. They’d have to be a really close friend for me to sponsor them.

I get it OP.
I sponsor my cousin's and friends kids all the time and always give £20-£30.
When I did a sponsored event recently (not something that you have to pay to do and the proceeds were for our local hospice), not one of them offered to give me anything at all and I'd have been delighted with £1-£2.
I ignore their requests now as it was getting ridiculously expensive any way.

If you're a close friend I'd sponsor you but April? I'd be waiting till closer to the date.

There are so many adults I'd sponsor in a sponsored silence!!!!

God I hope not everyone feels like this! I'm about to set up a page for sponsorship for 2 races to raise money for the same charity. I've (obviously) paid the entry fees myself and was hoping as a very close friend's mum died of it recently I can do something to honour her memory.