Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

I take your point that you always give generously and you'd expect some reciprocal support but it also kind of depends what it is and what it's for. I don't agree with some charities (not many mainstream ones but some), and activities.

If it's something they're doing anyway. My friend did a cycling holiday they'd always wanted to do and tried to make it a charitable thing. It's complicated to explain why exactly as yes, the money was going to a good cause and it was hard work, but it is a bit irritating when it's something that's benefitting the individual so much in the first place. Not quite charitable in it's spirit.

Maybe he's worded the request badly? Can you get a close friend to read it through objective eyes?

*I hate sponsored events. Even for my own children I can't bear to ask outside the immediate family for anyone to sponsor them for something trivial.
I will support friends occasionally if it's a worthy cause and has personal relevance (e.g. friend raising money for the hospice that looked after her Dad before he died) *

This is me, too. When school ask for "sponsorship" i just pay a decent amount myself.

Sort of, but a chunk of it usually goes towards the running/sustainability of the event itself.

Some of all charity donations goes towards keeping the charity running, but a direct donation to the cause will see it get the most bang for your buck.

I hate sponsored things and I never sponsor anyone or ask for it. My kids school does a sponsored run every year. I don’t ask anyone they get £10 each from me and their dad and that’s it. I won’t even ask family. I wouldn’t sponsor any adult for a ‘challenge’ regardless of what it is

It's bad enough sponsoring kids! I dislike the whole premise tbh. I'll cough up for kids because I don't want to disappoint them but adults should know better really. What's the point in reminding them more than once? They've had their chance to donate if interested.

I'm happy donating to charity, but not that way. Especially since many of the donations seem to go towards the minimum amount allowed, which is really just subsidising the activity in the first place. Especially with things like the marathon, where people miraculously only seem to want to run for charity if they don't get in via bidding, and then need to get their friends to pony up thousands of pounds so they can run a race 🙄

I never give sponsorship to any adult.

I'm not subsidising someone to enable them to engage in heroics and (often) indulge in their favourite hobby!

If your husband wants to help out a charity, he could just donate a chunk from his salary one month. That's what I would do.

For 3 years I had a standing order set up for £20 a month to a local dogs home. No heroics needed.

It’s for MND - he has never done anything for charity before for the very reasons you have stated but someone in the local community has MND who we are friendly with and some of our friends also know him. As stated before, none of them are badly off and I’m a firm believer in paying back where I can but obvs others aren’t.

What a peculiar mentality.

They don’t pocket the money? You aren’t “paying” them.

If they enjoy themselves AND raise money for the local hospice, for instance, where is the downside?

Who sponsors adults? If you want to support a charity just give them some bloody money. Why should other people basically give you money to live out your mid-life crisis on social media?

If it's a marathon, they are paying for their place. I'll give my money to charities i support, and directly, not to allow someone to virtue signal.

What's he doing

Perhaps your friends 'pay back' in other ways though. They might donate to another charity of their own choosing.
Or not. I don't give to any charity at the moment, and don't feel bad about it in the slightest. I 'pay back' through the tax system!

Exactly. Cheeky Fucker territory.

Why don’t adults ever do sponsored silences? Some really would make loads of money. Try that op.

It really depends so much on what it is he’s doing.

The responses are mean @Primmyhill. But the task he’s undertaking is critical as to whether I’d sponsor him.

I can't imagine why people aren't queuing up to sponsor your husband, @Primmyhill. I bet you asked so nicely, too...

It really depends on what the charity is, and what the activity is. I love a long distance walk, but not many of my friends do, so I have signed up for some "charity " walks in the UK, but made up the minimum funding myself, as a way of doing a bucket-list hike safely with company (eg the overnight ones). I don't actually expect anyone to give me much cash to do my hobby, even if I did have to do a ton of training to complete the event.

Um no. Just because people don't donate towards your husbands challenge doesn't mean they don't believe in giving back! That's ridiculous 😂 I definitely give back, just not towards grown adults asking for sponsorship!

Also agree with those upthread who say it'll happen closer to the time. I've been burned before by donating and then the race not going ahead, so if I did donate it would be closer to the time.

Well If he’s not on social media that’s why he’s not getting sponsorship. Much better chance getting people to donate by posting it on there rather than relying on a few friends

^This
If you disagree stop handing your children’s sponsorship forms out.

I'd donate to a fundraiser for the individual in that situation, or if they themselves were fundraising for an MND charity, it's just not my thing to donate to people doing challanges, marathons etc. I do sponsor kids cos schools and clubs put such pressure on families to raise money

If many people are already friends with the individual who has MND, might it be that they have already donated to this charity prior to your husbands event?

I recently ignored my sil request to sponsor her to do a 5km walk for a cancer charity. A 5km walk is in no way a challenge to her and I have been supporting a specific cancer charity recently due to a dear friend recently passing away from a type of cancer. my sils event was just not high on my agenda although I wished her well with it

Have you just generically posted on social media/in a whatsapp group, or have you asked people directly? Asking individuals directly usually works much better.

MND is a very worthy cause, absolutely, but what is it that he is doing?

I really don't like sponsoring people to do things where there is a fee for the activity - skydive or whatever - especially if it's an exciting thing to do.

Sitting in a bath of cold beans or something, I'd sponsor that, but not something people do for fun and have to money for.