Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

But finding a cure for cancer isn't and shouldn't be the only charitable activity. There are heaps of other good causes

And people do support other charities, I certainly do!

Of course there are. I don't work for a cancer charity, by the way.

I just feel that the belief that its only worth supporting tiny charities with no paid staff and apparently no overheads, is misguided.

I always give to friends sponsorship but if I’m honest I’m happier to give to the “effort” ones - like long distance walks, marathons etc and less to the “fun experience ones” like sky diving when it’s really about them doing something cool and the money partially pays for them to do it and doesn’t all go to charity.

A quick google reveals that charities pay £300 to secure a number in the London Marathon and anyone who has ever tried to secure a number themselves know how hard it is to get a number - I think this sits firmly in the "doing something cool and the money raised partially pays for them to do it". In my experience poeple suddenly find a tenuous link to the charity - a long-lost relative who has mild asthma and they just have to support that charity cause they feel so much for their relative that they just have to give back! Yeah right! It's a bucket list thing and everyone knows that.

A charity marathon place is not the doddle you suspect, despite your quick Google.

Our charity offers a limited number of places with strictly enforced terms and conditions with a minimum fundraising target agreed (it's very high!) Most of our runners raise way in excess of this in any case - they are hugely committed. We have had individual runners raise over £25k in the past.

It is not easy to get a charity place either - we only accept 1 in 12 applications. We look for a strong personal connection to our charity (a tenuous link won't get you anywhere) and a history of successful large scale fundraising - as we know that this improves commitment and leads to success.

We support our runners with their fundraising throughout but monitor their progress closely and if it is not going to target, we withdraw the place. Ultimately the place for the charity and not the individual runners benefit.

It is a cool thing to do and a bucket list thing for most but it requires huge amounts of commitment to both the training and the fundraising.

The fundraising is harder than the training.

I've had charity places offered to me but I declined because I would find raising that amount far too stressful. You can't rely on friends and family just donating to your just giving to get the total needed unless you are rich. Most people will need to organise some kind of event to raise anywhere close to the total.

It's really hard, and unless you have a close personal connection to the charity you won't have the motivation to do it.

A bucket list for most???

I think not.

And this so called coveted place is just nauseating. You are running that’s it, not negotiating world peace.

A bucket list for many runners, I meant, not the population in general. (I don't run so couldn't think of anything worse.)

Applications this year beat all previous records - over 840,000. Success rate in the general ballot is about 2%.

Fun for them. Good for the charities but pestering friends is really not on. I would sponsor a friend WITH cancer or some life limiting illness ofc and children.

Otherwise I just find it intensely annoying as I have my own charities to support and focus on. Most people do. I have never liked people inflicting their choices on me, and then pressurising. I would probably pull back from the friendship as I don’t like pushy people full stop.

Yes, most people organise events, often including cake sales - which will, no doubt, be approved of by some earlier posters here 😀

foot soldiers Vs CEO salary is redundant-sadly applies in most large organisations and equally unfair. I'm sure some cbarity senior execs have turned their backs on higher salaries - but way too many claim that in theory they could do better without having ever put it to the test. See also the plethora of life coaches and advisors advertising their skills for hire on social media. As the sayig goes (cruelly) : 'failed in New York gone to Dubai'..

I think there are two pots here, those who don’t give and those who do. I’m assuming your husband is doing the marathon, a very worthy cause, and very hard. It takes months and months to train for a marathon. For those who say they think it’s self absorbed to do a marathon I going to make the assumption they’ve never done one. More likely they are the type of people who happily ask for sponsorship to stop drinking for a day or give up chocolate for a week. Also last to bar and never help out anyone but themselves.

In future I wouldn’t sponsor them for anything and leave it at that.

good luck to your husband, hope it all goes well.