Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

But why should anyone else give money for that effort?
Just run it and donate to the charity yourself.

I do donate but only to friends and family immediately affected by something.

Not to hijack the thread, but I have recently seen another mum hitting social media HARD to raise money for her daughter to go to a developing country to do charity work. It’s really rubbing me the wrong way….perhaps it’s the sanctimonious attitude of how much giving the teen will be doing abroad, but to me, it looks like she’s just getting people to donate to her daughter’s long haul flight and lodging fund. 🤷‍♀️

Yeah that is different.

I bloody hate sponsoring and don’t get me started on Go Fund Me. Fund your self. Most sponsorship is for someone to do something that they want to do, like running, climbing. Just bigger off asking others for money and let us donate to charities of our own choices when we choose.

Im surprised at the results here, im with you OP. If I sponsor someone for a charity event I would be really disappointed if they didn't even bother to do it back. It would put me off doing it for them again in the future.
People saying they hate fundraising and how tacky it is honestly baffle me. Charities need fundraising events to survive, how do people expect them to raise any money without these events? Children in need, comic relief, stand up to cancer, these yearly events raise millions which I guarantee would not be the case if these shows weren't on tv, with people doing these charity events to help towards the funds. They wouldnt make anywhere near that amount without fundraisers.

I did something for sponsorship once years ago and all the people I had sponsored for multiple events didn’t bother, I won’t sponsor anyone now.

I sponsor only if it's a close friend and /or I support the cause.
Wouldn't necessarily sponsor a friend's DH but it depends what the cause was so I'm on the fence here.

You’ve missed the point. Sponsorship is for a cause not a person. Shame mental health never gets the interest physical ill health and disability does.

I'm afraid I get it. I'll bung a couple of £ to kids whenever asked but would never sponsor an adult to do something they probably want to do anyway. I expect lots of people feel the same!

By all means ask. Once.
I have been asked to sponsor five people so far this year. If you fancy a run around some city in Europe, then you crack on but perhaps the money for your weekend away could have been donated to the charity instead!

I’ve done some charity stuff and donated to friends too - it’s always surprise to see who does and doesn’t donate!

I have found a lot of people will donate just before or after the event - they want to see the photos or know it’s happened and then donate. I raised the most amount the day after I did a charity walk and shared pics, update and asked for final donations.

I’ve also been a last min donater myself so hoepfully you’ll see a flurry of donations closer to the time. Keep posting and sharing - and ask others to share.

A friend once had a £1k donation from a person in a whattsapp group they’d shared it in - the donator supported the charity and had never even met my friend!

good luck to your DH!

I suspect most of those moaning about being asked to donate haven’t a clue how hard it is to run a marathon. Easy to be dismissive if they’ve never tried. I think there is an ignorance.

Unless your donation means you can’t afford to pay bills, I really don’t see the big deal about supporting someone who is doing something nice for charity.

honestly I don’t sponsor many people, that being said if I sent round stuff and someone has kindly donated, I would in turn make a gesture payment. For kids stuff I just put the money in myself.

most people scroll on by, maybe send a few pictures of him doing said event with a link to donate and see how you go.

we are assuming they are not tight for money?

I would sponsor a child because they are usually doing it via a school event thing, and I think it can foster a sense of achievement for them while raising money for a good cause.
I would never, ever sponsor an adult to do something pointless because...well, it's pointless and I couldn't care less if you run a marathon/jump out of plane/sit in a bath of baked beans etc etc.
If you want me to give money to a charity that you are trying to raise money for, then I agree with a pp - you have to offer me something, be it entertainment, cake, raffle prizes, doing something useful....a friend of mine will bake you a cake at her cost for a donation (you decide how much) to a specific charity; the Macmillan coffee mornings are an excellent idea imo.
But otherwise - just say that xyz is a cause dear to your heart and ask people to donate anything if they can. And take the money you'd have spent for entering the London Marathon or whatever and donate that too.

It seems nowadays the default donation is £10+.

I rarely see people donating less.

So I wonder if there’s actually a lot of people who would like to donate but perhaps can only afford £5 and therefore don’t want to look stingy.

Which is a shame.

Me too. If you want to climb a mountain or walk the Great wall of China, then do so, but why does that oblige me to sponsor you? Why not use the money you raise to pay the expenses to make your own donation?

Good luck to your husband, how disappointing that your friends aren’t being as supportive as you’d have thought they would be! How close are you? What happens when you send the link over, do they reply?

Maybe you could arrange a fundraiser if you need more money. Some of these charities ask for so much, it becomes stressful trying to reach the target. Good luck again

I went to a presentation at my DD school for one of these trips and the sales pitch was highly questionable, akin to the old double glazing salesman. DD really wanted to go but we said no as in order to ’fundraise’ for the trip she would repeatedly be asking the same friends and family for their donations in exchange for whatever. I didn’t think that was right. Yes it’s a wonderful experience for them but it’s not my friends, family and colleagues who should be paying for my child to go on a jolly

So many charities pay huge salaries & mismanage the rest.
Some do dodgy dealings & some are criminal.

If we decide to sponsor someone, we do. If we don’t, we don’t feel bad.
It’s not a given that someone will sponsor your DH and its well cheeky to expect they will.

Our reasons barely ever have anything to do with spending - nearly always because we just don’t trust the charities.

I am usually happy to donate to a good cause. But it does drive me nuts when the scouts try to pack my bags (which I'm happy to pack myself) to send Marmaduke to a jamboree in some far flung place. I'm afraid I have to draw the line somewhere with my goodwill and that's it.
I would happily give to someone raising money for MND.

I just donate nearer the time or on the day.

Kind of agree with some other posts regarding sponsoring a keen runner on the marathon. Find it a bit annoying to be hassled but I donate to many charities every month by direct debit

I'm not a big fan of fund raisers, but totally understand that when you've sponsored friends' kids for their total number of jumps, or something else mundane, it bites a bit when you, just for once, do something and they don't get on board with even a token amount of support. One sided friendships can leave you feeling used and it isn't nice when the moment arrives that you discover it was one sided.

How would you know if they gave directly to the charity? Are you involved in the charity yourself?

because most of the event sponsorship will go to a third party profit making company & bugger all will end up with the charity.

I work in the charity sector, but avoid charities that use event/challenge type sponsorship as a source of funding - and if I choose to give to charity it will be one of my choosing, whose accounts I've read and am happy with - not one that happens to be running a challenge event that DH's husband fancies for his holiday.
Probably a lot cheaper to book independently and make a donation to the chosen charity - oh wait, DH not expecting to pay, is expecting friends and family to subsidise his hobby/holiday.

He knows everything.