Friends not sponsoring dh

[Primmyhill]

Ok, I know times are hard and there are loads of people asking for sponsorship etc but I’m just a bit hacked off. In the past I’ve sponsored friends kids for things like walking around the playground at lunch time, sponsored silence etc, you get my drift but there’s been loads over the last few years and I always give £10-20. My husband is doing a huge challenge in April and the sponsorship has been live for months and I’ve sent the link out twice and not one of them has sponsored him. None of them are badly off - they just can’t be bothered I reckon and I’m pretty annoyed. AIBU? Would you do? I’ll know better next time when darling Henry wants money for pushing his teddy around the local f’ing playing field.

I would see this as a gentle and very polite way of saying you're not interested and very likely leave you alone.

They’re not mutually exclusive - if you sponsor someone you support the cause that they’re fundraising for.
As a PP has said, it’s not that deep.

I think that people who sponsor others are more likely to do so for kids because they're kids, whether they have thoughts on the charity involved or not. I've certainly done that for not wanting to disappoint a child - for no deeper reason than that.

What's wrong though is if you court sponsorship for your children for whatever they're doing then not returning the favour is going to case bad feeling. The way around that is to fund whatever your children are asking for, yourself, without recourse to other people. Then you're free and clear of obligation to sponsor other people because you've never asked for it yourself.

It obviously depends on why they are raising money. If it's for the school playground or something only for the school then it's of no benefit to me and never will be so I don't really care about it. If someone, adult or child, is raising money for a cause such as MND, MS or cancer research then far more people can potentially benefit.

Why? You'd only be doing what I asked you to do. All I've said is that if I give money, I want to check where it's going. The fact that you would see that the same as "No" speaks volumes about the way people look at sponsorship.

I can't understand why anyone would say "Oh, charity? Sure!" when everyone knows there are many charities that are incompetent, corrupt, or aimed at purposes they don't actually support.

If your cause is good wouldn't you think "Yes, when they see it, they might give something"? Or don't you really care, if the money isn't directed through you?

But if you just support the cause they are fundraising for, and not their sponsored event, isn't that just as good as far as they are concerned?

I think people including OP are taking this far too personally. The world does not revolve around our fascinating lives, moral crusades, whatsapp groups and Gofundme links. Most people don't care either way, they have their own problems.

Sometimes I sponsor, sometimes I don't. I don't have a personal axe to grind - it all depends on whether I received the message during a commute / busy time / quiet moment, whether the charity is one I would support, how close the friends are, whether they've supported me, my current mood, whether it stands out in the million messages that pop up when I scroll, whether I've just had to pay for a new boiler or just got a new freelance contract, if it's at Christmas - no chance. There are millions of factors.

I have done fundraising and crowdfunding for local causes (all voluntary ones, no £100k CEOs involved) and you have to tell people at least 10 times before they donate because it's just noise and another to do for their list. If you're going to ask for sponsorship you need to have a thicker skin than this.

Sending the link twice in 'months' - that's not going to get you anywhere. You need to ask in person and send at least every week.

That would make total sense to me

The sponsorship is a want not a need, amd if the link were sent every week, she'd be blocked by me.

I'm not saying it's wrong or it's right. I'm just pointing out raising funds for charity is by its very nature aggressive and persistent. Nobody runs with outstretched arms and open wallets towards chuggers and sponsored activities do they?

If you're serious about raising money for the issue you care about, you get in people's faces. If you're limply posting a link on facebook every quarter, nobody will see it.

But there must be many, many people who quietly donate to charities every week/month? I do and I imagine others do the same, pick the charities that they feel close to and want to support - and off they go.

That is the equivalence of running with arms open, isn't it? But without the annoying chugger!

No. Absolutely you have the wrong end of the stick. I think many people would feel this was a brush off and that like the seeming majority of people on the thread they preferred not to participate but didn't want to say so to your face.

I mean - I would judge it based on the conversation/demeanour of the person.

When I've been sent these things there is a link to the charity and quite a bit of detail about why the person is doing it. I would assume that they could click a website link if they wanted to? If it's a much lesser known one and they did seem genuinely interested I'd share.

(Maybe I've been in Britain too long? Or maybe in my experience a US person would say no this way? Yanks are not as direct as they appear.)

I've never done anything sponsored and have no plans to.

Chuggers, of course, are not in the least serious about the issues. They are serious about the comission they get for raising money for different charities every day.

Unfortunately charities feel that people won't do the "in your face" stuff unless they give those people something in return - be that 10% of the direct debits they manage to sign up, a free trip to Kilimanjaro, or the kudos of posting on Facebook what a great person you are for raising x amount.

Oh that's fine. If there's a link I'll say I'll click on the link and donate if I think appropriate. I won't give to them. What's the point, if there's a link?

From my point of view - it's a prompt to get people to think about a charity's work. I'm happy to support a friend's efforts in this way. I think it's a good thing? But that's just me (evidently.)

How is you giving via the person being sponsored rather than directly "a prompt to get people to think about a charity's work"?

Well - I said i was happy to support a friend in this way so it really doesn't matter does it? But - maybe it's a new charity i didn't know about and their efforts made me realise what they. Maybe it's one that I do know and support but had slipped from my mind. Etc etc. It's really not that deep.

That's them prompting you. Your donation to them isn't prompting anything.

But it's ok. If you think it doesn't matter that you can't logically or coherently justify your behaviour if you stop and think about it, that's your prerogative. Many, many people would share that view with you.

Why is it never a sponsored 'paint the school hall' or 'fix the hospital roof'.

Wouldn't that be a better use of time and money than running round a course or abseiling off a church?

😅

Or 'try your hand at cancer research'.

@CountryShepherd But the money raised through sponsorship could still go to cancer research.

But instead of paying a fee to enter the London marathon or do a skydive, and all the effort and training for that, why not also do something actually useful, and get sponsored for it! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I understand the point that you're trying to make but that's just not how life works.

Who would organise a group of presumably unskilled volunteers to fix a hospital roof? Who would insure that sort of activity?

In the charity I work for we have wonderful volunteers who help with support groups.

That's not everyone's cup of tea or they be might working full time so they support the charity by raising funds and awareness. In lycra or otherwise.

It’s not pushy at all.. people are free to scroll by! But majority of people think they’ll do it later and then forget, it’s just an occasional reminder when he thabks someone.
When did people get so bloody miserable?! No one is being forced to read his posts!!

Why does it matter what he’s doing? The activity is almost irrelevant - it’s the charity and the donations that matter.
when my daughter was 7 she did a 22 mile swim for a charity (over a few weeks) it wasn’t really what she was doing that mattered, it was about the charity and the fact her friend had been diagnosed with something… she could just have easily done a sponsored read or sponsored walk… the charity was what mattered