DH precious about “his weekend lie in”

[Summatoruvva]

He WFH Monday-Friday in not an especially tasking job. I do most household/parenting stuff as I work school hours. He does washing up in evening and helps with homework etc.

He takes youngest to an hours football training on Monday night and the under 11s game on Saturday. He has to do this because he drives and I don’t. He will often grumble about getting up Saturday but will do it.

Dishes were left last night and as sun is out I sprang out of bed at 8.15 to get started. Ten mins later he appears in boxers saying can you be quiet. Turn down podcast and wash up more quietly. He went back to bed. I went up to get uniforms from basket and he leapt out of bed huffing that he’s hardly slept and the housework could wait and I have woken the oldest (11). It was 9 am.

I reminded him we’re a busy family and not hungover students and he’s stomped about tidying ineffectually before going to his mums to be told there there.

Does a 50 year old man deserve a lie in every weekend?

I hope you live in a detached house because a neighbour vacuuming at 5am every day would make me murderous.

It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of kindness, that causes marriages to fail.

Because they're not particularly comfortable and can cause issues with impacted ear wax and infections.

Why can't people wear earplugs

Why can't people listening to podcasts wear earphones?

I was just going to say the same thing - I would be seriously unimpressed if someone woke me up vacuuming at 5 in the morning!

If I heard my neighbour going around every morning around 5am with the vacuum I would be so annoyed. I'd also think them very odd.

I would be fuming. Just because you want to get up early and clean doesn't mean everyone else has to do the same. The fact you woke two different people up suggests you weren't being as quiet as you thought

It really depends on the needs of the household and ages of children although I think facilitating regular lie-ins for each other is a good thing.

You said you work school hours and he WFH on weekdays so I'd be interested in the division of the early morning work in the houshold.

Its probably different for every family but my kids are 18 and 20 now and drive themselves places/ stay up all night etc.. my one lie in on a sat it is my saving grace for the week. I love it, it’s my time to sleep, think, have a cuppa in bed!

Yes I'm not exaggerating when I say I think it would make me physically ill to be woken at 5am every day by a hoover. I'd be like a bloody zombie trying to function at work. Getting up at 7.30 in the week is bad enough!

So you think everyone must live the way you dictate?

My DH doesn't sleep in, he's a natural early riser. I love a lie in. Thankfully he's considerate and facilitates this rather than makes me change to be just like him.

Dog ownership has changed me because 8.15 is practically the middle of the day! We don't really do lie ins here as there is always stuff that needs doing, and dogs/DCs/housework/activities to attend to. I think 8am is a reasonable lie in, but according to this thread I am definitely in the minority.

He can fuck right off, in my opinion! He lives in a family home, not a bachelor pad, and you're doing household chores ffs, not hosting a party!

People not understanding that other people are different to them baffles me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Well yeah, but how much sleep do you need if you're not ill.

Who made you the sleep monitor?

If op works school hours plus all the household and kids stuff in the week, I'd say that adds up to full time or near enough so I dont think his full time work is a factor. And I say that as the parent who works full time while the other works school hours, so no bias here...

You need to address what's really going on here and deal with the resentment.
Is it his "easy" WFH job?

This. I absolutely cherish my lie-ins. By all means do your thing, if your thing is housework at 8.15 on a Saturday, but don’t clatter the first of the household up.

I'm not saying she doesn't do an equal share, but I don't think his full-time job should be dismissed either.

You should learn to drive.

He should do more housework.

You should both get more lie ins.

10 am is early enough for noise and clatter on a Sunday. Even if you don't choose to rest, let him.

This. Our kids are up at half six every morning. We each have a lie in a week but even then it's only til about eight, both kids have SEN and are young and it's hard work

Not in this house.

Im up between 5 and 6am Monday to Friday. I creep out of the house so as not to disturb DP. The unutterable joy of not having to set an alarm at the weekend is immense. If we have no plans I wake up when I wake up. If DP wants to make “family noise” I’d be furious. Really furious. I have no idea why early rising has to be seen as such a virtue.

@876543A

sounds quite stifling to me tbh, everyone having to do the same thing at the same time all weekend. You are individuals as well as a family - you can each do your own thing a bit!

He needs ONE lie in a week. Is that really too much to ask?

Clearly you don't feel like you need one but not everyone is like you.

It's such a small thing to ask, why can't you facilitate it?

It sounds like growing resentment may be the actual issue here.