To make myself some brekkie

[Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead]

Did park run this morning then straight to do a food shop then home. Absolutely starving. Dd was baking some cookies for dh as a surprise so we told him to stay out of the kitchen for a bit. Made myself some brekkie, called through to dh to see if he wanted anything. Hit the roof cos l had already made my own. Told me l am rude. Said l am hungry after running and he said ffs it's all about you.

Hmm it really isn't!!

So made himself and sandwich and not spoken since!

Is he the dick or am l?!

Am off out tonight so don't give a flying one if he wants to ignore me!!

make breakfast not break breakfast!

Seems like a petty reason to be hitting the roof over! I’m quite agreeable and easy to get along with though so not sure what most other people would think

If I was making myself something to eat or drink and my husband was in the house, I'd ask him if he would like some.
He would do the same.

That's because we like each other-don't have power struggles and like to make life that bit easier for the person. do a kind gesture to make life a bit smoother, let them know they're cared about.

You didn't make him something when you were making yourself something to eat, didn't even ask him if he had a mouth on him.
Then he kicked off at you and you don't give a shit because you're going out.
Yes, he could have had something ready for you when you came in from running but he didn't bother his arse because he doesn't want to make life smoother for you by doing a small kindness.

What a mismatched unloving pair.

Then along come posters asking how often he makes breakfast for you-what a transactional way to live.
Others come along, sarcastically calling him The Big Man.

I imagine they have similar non loving relationships,watching all the time to make sure the other doesn't get an extra iota-whether that be a loving action, an hour undisturbed or a cup of tea.

Well the OP asked him if he wanted something!
Its just that he didn’t like the fact she had already made her own…

Vut tbh, I’d have assumed my dh already had breakfast. I mean yes the dd was cooking but it wont take taken her 3 hours to make cookies. But the OP did a park run and then a shop. I wouldn’t have expected my dh to have been waiting for me to be back so that I’m the one to do his breakfast tbh.

@SilkSquare but the OP did ask if he wanted something... it’s not like she just ignored him and had her breakfast wo saying a word to him.

Having said that, I agree that both of their reaction is a symptom of a relationship that’s struggling.

I think he may have thought the surprise was breakfast rather than cookies

I don't make meal without asking all those in the house (and awake) if they want some, it's polite

Depends what breakfast was..

Weetabix? Ok to do your own.
Eggs on toast? Check with DH.
Porridge? Grey area...

Ignoring brekkie as it's an awful word, along the lines of hubby, yes you should have asked him when making yours.

I just ask dh if he wants what I'm making, eg, "I'm making a coffee, do you want one?" It's just polite isn't it. I would want him to ask me if he was making a hot drink.I wouldn't do this though, if I was grabbing something instant, like a biscuit, or a yoghurt or something. I wouldn't for a bowl of cereal either tbh as it takes seconds. Dh likes different cereal to me and adds fancy sprinkle stuff on the top, etc, so it is easier he does his own as well.
I think if your dh couldn't use the kitchen, he could have shouted through to get him something. I think he is being OTT, and precious. You said you called through asking if he wanted anything as well.

Why hadn't he made himself some breakfast while you were out, if he was hungry?

It shouldn't be a big deal but I'm a bit confused as to why you waited until you'd had your breakfast before offering him something. Surely you'd offer as you're making it to save yourself making two meals

Did the food you bought while food shopping make up your breakfast OP?

Seriously! You will make yourself something without asking if anyone else wants one? Selfish and rude!

Cos he didn't want what l was having

No

For me it depends on circumstances and reasoning. I don't usually make my DH breakfast if he's still in bed because I don't want to interrupt his lie-in and breakfast food doesn't keep well, except pancakes. If he was up, I'd probably go and ask (not shout at him in another room because he might not hear) unless I assumed he'd had it because of how late it was in the morning. It's not an issue we'd get worked up about so I doasssume there's underlying tensions here.

Has he stopped being a sulky diva yet @Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead ?

He's a dick

So he was expecting you to wait on him and prepare him breakfast knowing fully well you didn’t have the same
Did he expect you to be his maid and is in a strop because you didn’t? 😳😳

This is really making me want some breakfast! It’s my favourite meal of the day . But please dont spoil it for me by calling it brekkie!

Yeah this.

If I had watched the kid(s) whilst waiting for my DH to come back from a run by himself, in order to have breakfast together, then he told me to stay out of the kitchen, I'd have assumed he was making us both something. Not emerge with food for just himself, and adopt a Pikachu-shocked-face when asked what the hell. Especially if the same day staying home with the kid(s) when he went out for the night too.

These are two people who don't like each other. It's just normal if both of you haven't eaten, are hungry, that you make something for both. It's barely any more effort to making it for one.

All this "my god, I make myself a cup of tea the poor man child not capable of making his own" are missing the point. I can't imagine being in a relationship where everyone just thinks of themselves and acts shocked that they might just be courteous to their partner because it's just decent. We make a tea, or whatever, for both of us because it's just nice, not because either of us are too infantile to flick a kettle switch for ourselves.

Why do people on here bitch about the terms other people use? Like brekkie?

Are they really so rigid and small (yet full of themselves) that they can't allow a stranger a minor difference without piping up to exert their needless opinion?

Lot of that on mumsnet. Annoying.

What is wrong with using our very good English language? We spend billions of pounds a year educating people, mostly students, on researching and using the English language in so many ways. The richness of Shakespeare, to the Bronte Sisters, to Michael Ondaatje, to statutes of Parliament even.

Why denigrate English to become a lazy language such as:

Brekkie
Crimbo
Hubby
Holibobs
Cuz

It is not a minor difference. It is slovenly, lazy and checking-out language.

You can race to the bottom if you wish. I am not going to do that.

It's a chat forum, that's all.
Informal.