People who are too busy to do exercise

[Hollyandivygoout]

I run about 4 miles, 4 times a week. I’m in a routine and force myself to do it even when I can’t be arsed. It takes me about 30-40 minutes each time I go for a run and I squeeze it in early morning, before dinner, just whenever I can really. I work full time and have 2DC who are admittedly at secondary school now, but this is something I’ve always done.
My AIBU is finding it annoying when people tell me they don’t have time to do any exercise. It’s like they’re so busy and important and I’ve got all the time in the world. I honestly don’t believe that the vast majority of people can’t squeeze in half an hour a few times a week.

I have two kids at primary school (one with a significant disability so have had to apply for DLA, and EHCP and specialist secondary provision in the past 12 months) and the other in Reception, so little enough to still need a lot of very hands-on parenting. I have a full-time job at Board level, a directorship of a not-for-profit and I'm a school governor. My work often has unpredictable hours and I manage a team of 10 who all do quite complex work that often needs my support. I'm not doing it at the moment, but when I was training with a personal trainer, I trained between 5 and 6am. On those days, I often got to sleep after midnight and was up again around 4.5 hours later. My DH is super supportive, but he can't sleep on my behalf.

We do not all have the same 24 hours as you, especially now that you have secondary-aged children.

Are you looking for an answer to your AIBU question, or are you just doing a humblebrag so you can feel all smug and superior? Because it sounds like the latter.

(Not that it’s any of your business, but I run 3 times a week and try to get to the gym twice. I still think you’re being a judgemental bore)

I hate exercising. I know in the long term it would benefit me, my kids and my mental health. But now, when Im in the trenches? Forcing myself to run/exercise for 30 minutes 3 times a week on around 4 hours of sleep a night , 37+ hours of work and spending some form of quality time with my kids and husband mean that those minutes will kill whatever sanity I have left.

I am active in my daily doings, I’d walked my 10000 steps by 11.30 this morning, so no, I don’t exercise 4 times a week on top lol. I run with a friend once a week for a catch up, that’s all I can be arsed to do. You do you, I do me.

How judgy. Maybe other people have different priorities to you.
Maybe their child struggles academically and that 30-40 you spend running 4x a week, they spend sitting with their child giving them extra academic support.
Maybe that 30 min is spent ferrying their child to an extracurricular activity that gives them confidence.

Maybe after working full time, cooking meals, taking kids here there and everywhere, cleaning and tidying, commuting, there's only perhaps 30-60 min per day true leisure time and they don't want to spend it on something they don't enjoy!

Not everyone gets the same endorphins from exercise - studies have shown someone people dont get the lovely endorphin boost they just feel a bit crap and tired afterwards. If that was you, you might feel differently

I don’t think the OP, after having their arse handed to them, is coming back.

BUT this thread has made me realise that I really should prioritise exercise again - I’ve been swamped at work, busy with kids, yet my screen time (on my phone) shows at a staggering 5 hours a day - what’s up with that?

I 100% know I’ll feel better for it too.

So thanks for the thread @Hollyandivygoout 💪

I think that a lot of people who say they don't have time don't realise that exercise doesn't have to be going for a run, going to the gym or doing a class. Just move your body more. You can dance while cooking dinner, you can exercise with your children, park right at the back of the car park so you are walking a little bit further.

Little efforts make a difference. One of the best you can do is get your children involved, show them the importance of being fit and healthy. Before bath and bed squeeze 10 minutes of something with them be it a child suitable class, jumping, dancing, stretching.

I do exercise a lot and I have time to but on the days I don't have time I simply try to move more.

I exercise four times a week and I hate it. I'd much rather not exercise but I have to if I want to look how I want to look. I couldn't run four miles in 30 mins - or any miles actually, without two days of horrible knee pain afterwards - anyway. I also walk the dogs every day because I have to, but I actually enjoy that (usually). I struggle to find the time to fit everything in, working full-time and studying, with two kids at secondary school also, and exercise has to be sacrificed if I'm too busy for it. Your post is annoyingly judgy, OP.

You have childcare and a partner.

That is a certain amount of privilege that not everyone has.

Did you take your DC with you running when they were toddlers?

I am a doer, a list-maker, an achiever. I work FT, cook a decent meal most nights, have a reasonably clean home and a social life. I also work out with weights for about an hour 5-6 times a week because I am old and was losing muscle mass. I also have an empty nest, and an easy husband. But 10 years ago when my kids were young and in sports, I barely had time to breathe and working out was the last thing on my list. So I dont judge people who dont have time for it. I literally would have cracked from the pressure of another single thing on my plate back then. I am happy I can fit it in now. Stay in your lane.

@Hollyandivygoout
Did your DH sort out his ED?

Maybe your out the house too much and he's too knackered?

To other posters that's the Ops only other posts.

Would the OP be able to do 4 runs a, week for 40 mins each if she was a single parent and her kids weren't old enough to be left alone?

Amazing how being a parent doesn't lead to the exact same circumstances isn't it?

She might not be able to do the running but she could do other forms of exercise

It's mostly attitude and priorities

I prioritise exercise as I love it, its a hobby. So i go in my lunch break 3 days a week and 1 day at the weekend. Other people do not love it and do not want to prioritise it. They may enjoy other things, baking, crochet, reading, etc, and will do that in their free time instead.

I honestly think that looking at it purely in terms of having enough time to fit in exercise is extremely simplistic. There are many contributing factors aside from how many hours you could carve out of your day.

I run 6 days a week. Plus I often run up to 18-20 miles at the weekend if I'm marathon training. Does that make me better than you OP? Less lazy than your meagre 4 days?

Or, perhaps, I have a partner who wfh and besides that my kids are old enough to be left alone in the house. It's much, much easier for some people than it is for others. That's the main reason.

It’s definately the case that some people don’t have time. Often due to working commitments and lack of childcare, or the weight of other responsibilities. Great that OP manages it but no need to be on one’s high horse. 🐴

I try to exercise but this is usually walking the dog, walking to pick the children up instead of driving, swimming with the children etc not high intensity but I genuinely believe I don’t have time. I work full time as a university lecturer, I am undertaking my PhD and have to engage in multiple research projects. One of my children has Autism and requires much more of my attention and I as my children are only going once (and I must admit I do not enjoy exercise) I don’t want to spend the little free time I have in a gym. I’d much rather be out at the Zoo, theme parks, farms, the park etc. Once my children reach secondary school age I’m sure this will change, but for now I’m quite happy spending what little free time I have in the evening to myself with a bottle of wind and crap tv

I was totally on board with your routine until you mentioned a kale smoothie. That’s when it all got a bit far fetched

YABU to be annoyed about it really. I think you just have to stop interpreting it as "I am busy and important and you are not". I think in a sense you are right, (almost) everyone could in theory find the time, they would just have to make different choices about how they spend their time that they are not willing to make. Often for extremely good reasons! But a simpler answer is just "I don't have time".

I used to feel a bit similar back when I was chair of the PTA and used to ask people to help. I did get a bit annoyed by "I don't have time" if it was said in a way that implied that I clearly had lots of spare time. I was working full time in a fairly demanding job and had two primary aged children and I knew that objectively most of these people had at least as much time as I did. The truth was really "No I prefer to spend my time in other ways eg exercising (!!)" and would kind of preferred them to say that. But I can also see that most people would have seen that as ruder.

Sorry, bit long. I think YANBU but I do kind of know what you mean.

You could say the same about anything people don't do.

Making time to exercise is making time to prioritize yourself and your health. People, women in particular, are bad at that. When you have children to care for, or parents care for, a job, a spouse, friends, a house that needs attention, it can feel selfish to take time out to do something for yourself, regardless of how important it is.

You are annoyed by people saying this because you are choosing to interpret it as them meaning that you have tons of free time. That isn't necessarily what they mean and even if it is you can choose not to interpret it that way.

It's actually bringing back school memories of being sneered at by those ruddy-cheeked, bat-wielding girls for preferring reading to PE.

While I think op is 100% on the wind up and run, maybe they are still running 🏃‍♂️ hence haven't been back.

Craft type hobbies are easy to do whilst kids are in bed or when they are watching tv.
It's not exactly the same as going for a run. And the time constraints many mums have

She didnt say it was the same thing.