Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

[Purpleturtle43]

I teach a Y1 class and have been a teacher for 20 years. Never have I experienced a class where parents are so unsupportive with regards to homework and providing what they need for class!

The majority of kids don't do their homework or do a really poor job of it. Most days when I ask the children to bring their reading books out at least 5 don't have them despite parents being told weekly the children need their books in school every day as we do daily reading. Many children also so they don't read their reading books at home.

Many parents don't provide their children when the necessary stuff for school for example pencils, indoor shoes, gym kits etc. meaning so much time is spent searching for spare things and we don't have enough supplies to go around.

I am a parent of 3 school aged children and totally understand the struggle, believe me the last thing I feel like doing when I get home all day from teaching kids is to do homework with my own but I always make sure it's done and kids have what they need for school.

I am just getting to the point where I wonder why I am bothering. It takes ages to look out reading books and to prepare homework and upload it online, it all just feels like a big waste of time.

If you don't engage with school can I ask why to give me some insight so I can think of some strategies that may work. I teach in an affluent area so money isn't usually a problem and the school I work in is very mindful of not asking for much, just the basics and we would definitely provide assistance when required.

Home school them then. See how you get on.

I am talking about the spelling really being a bit of a waste of time. I definitely think the extra reading practice is of huge benefit, especially for those who are struggling

My experience has been there's a trend to trying to have most of the class on similar level reading books, due to the guidance to align with phonics taught in class.

This typically means that 6-8 more able readers are stuck on green/orange books for half of y1 when they are way beyond this, while a similar number haven't clicked yet and are being very put off by trudging through those same green books because they are still sounding out.

The reading book should only take 5-10 mins at bedtime or in the morning. Kids are usually reluctant with reading when what is sent is too hard. Try sending easier books for the ones who aren't doing it often.

did you see my last message? I’ll tag you!

I'm really not a fan of this trend to push parents to teach their kids everything. When I was in primary, the teachers were the ones who taught us in class and we just had reading at home, then wrote a story/ poem at weekends. Bigger projects for older kids. Not reading, maths, spelling and writing every week. There really isn't time for tired little ones before bed for anything except reading, so we end up with 4 hours every weekend studying. These are tiny kids, but that's as much as I had in year 8! We do it, but it makes me feel angry and sad for my DS that we can't spend that time enjoying each other's company instead, and I don't care when something is very occasionally late because I fit it in when we can rather than always when it's asked for. The less you send the better in my opinion. Hope that helps.

They should definitely bring the books back.

Here we are @ThriveAT 😉😌

My kids started in year 2, 4 & 5. Every one of them is achieving higher than the expected standard.

My schools have now resorted to online reading books due to the issue of them not being returned however I feel there would be even less engagement with that!

*many

@Purpleturtle43
i must be living on a different planet but it never ever occurred to me that I would ignore my child’s homework and wouldn’t not look into it! Wtf!
Im actually shocked what I’m reading here, like parent deliberately ignoring their children’s homework etc..
My child always had their homework done on time , all spellings practiced daily so could get 100% spelling or reading certificates, this was from Reception up to Y6 as the school had all these homework’s on starting from Reception and I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t do them with their kids!
I can’t imagine anyone would just ignore the schools rules liked that.
I mean how the children are supposed to became obeying and follow a live life later if they can’t be bothered to do a simple homework and their parents encourage it?

Yes I have heard of that. I would have hated that. Nothing like a glaring iPad screen before bed!

Actually, cutting corners on useless stuff has been a big part of my professional success.

Well there is your data poor families ruled out straight away.

My DC is exhausted (I am too but I'm used to it and an adult). Every single request after school and after wrap around care is a battle for my SEN DC, EVERY SINGLE THING. I have to choose my battles wisely to ensure my child has eaten, is hydrated and clean, so yes, homework is probably at the bottom of my list.

I want my DC to love learning, they read for pleasure, watch documentaries and curiosity leads them to research on their tech - that's surely better than forcing homework 'just because' a teacher has set it

My mom was anti-hw in the 90s, so it’s nothing new. Her view was that we were doing important things at home too (we were tbf, we were building our family relationships, playing and going out to exciting places like the park or random castles etc.) we had no money, relied on benefits but me and my siblings were all straight A students because what we did at home added far more value than homework.

i’m a teacher now (secondary) and sometimes do the school reading with my sons (to be honest they hate reading the same book on repeat and aren’t struggling) but am not too bothered either way because I read every night with them and have done since they were babies, now I just get them to read a page themselves of whatever we are reading.

People are making this post about their individual circumstances, offloading their stress and directing their anger at the OP and all teachers in general.

The OP isn't using online games, devices or platforms for the homework.
Send back the reading books, decline the homework and stop complaining about it being set in the first place.

Teachers are leaving in their droves and parental attitude has a huge amount to do with it. Teacher's don't want to fight with parents, they want the best for your child..now and in the future. Reading skills affect life outcomes.

As a full time working family we really struggle with homework and daily reading for our year 2 daughter. It’s not that we’re disorganised or disinterested it’s just so much to deal with of an evening after she’s been in ASC till 1630 and we’ve got home, made and cleared away tea. Often I have to catch up with additional work in the evenings. This is before even considering clubs or after school activities.

I know full well it’s important, it’s just such a massive mental and strategic load to manage on an almost daily basis and sometimes we drop the ball. Not often, but I can completely understand how some parents just can’t manage it.

Parent of year 1 child - I almost always ignore the homework they said out. We usually read the book sent home but I rarely log it in the book. We also read other books at home every other night. That's it. We do lots of counting games and maths in a everyday type setting but I'm not sitting down with a 5 year old to do organised homework.

We've never complained about it and the teachers have never raised it 🤷 it's not a big deal

I think I’m a pretty engaged parent and we do a lot of educational stuff. I’ve got a good relationship with my Y1 child’s teacher.

We read the school books occasionally to show willing but they’re not the right level and so we mostly ignore them and read the chapter books my child wants to read. Maths homework is on an app and I’m not prepared to have the only time I get to hang out with my daughter after late play spent on a screen. If it were on paper I’d do it, and we do have workbooks and maths games that I’ve bought. I’ve had conversations with her teachers in both of these points and they’re fine with it.

Mostly though, it’s because I just don’t think there’s any evidence for the benefit of homework at that age. She’ll learn more from reading non-fiction books with me, listening to classical music, watching films and documentaries and discussing them, getting out in nature, playing strategy or word games, indulging in pretend play and dancing round the kitchen then she will on a maths app.

Our goals are to help your children learn and secure the best possible future for them. We often work evenings and weekends to do this. We’re verbally and physically abused, do not have enough resources or funding and stretched to breaking point. You sound so hostile and defensive but we are only trying to teach your children

Jesus wept. 10 minutes in the evening is all that's required.

I’m a parent that rarely reads the school books with my children. I’m a lone parent with 4 kids, 3 neurodiverse and work a demanding NHS job. My year 3 children get reading, a sheet of homework and spellings nightly. We do the homework and the spellings but they hate the boring reading books and honestly so do I so we don’t do them. They’re tired, I’m tired and I still have dinner to cook, uniform to iron, GCSE age teenagers to console, my own work to catch up on at home. My kids go to after school club and sometimes breakfast club too, that can be a 10 hour day. Reading is not the hill I want to die on honestly. Both read well so it’s not a priority for me if something has to give.

Exhausted mum here. I have half an hour of reading time almost every night with each child. We read for fun, for school, and read “bedtime math” to encourage mathematical thinking. I draw the line at the various online apps and games which are set for homework. Screen time is very limited due to extra curricular activities and lots of reading, cooking, and playing, and sometimes we just don’t get to it. The teacher has reminded the children several times, but one child just isn’t good with screen time (zones out and doesn’t absorb learning), one loses focus (which means the adaptive learning ratchets down several years below where he’s at academically, which makes it very boring for him), etc. They’re all at or above the expected level in core subjects, so for now I’m going to carry on ignoring the online learning.

PS on the other hand, I’m very supportive of things like show and tell which the children have a lot of flexibility with, and can be creative. I always make sure that they put effort into those activities, class outings etc which the teachers are really going above and beyond to organise.

She literally just said the reading books are online.

Are you a single parent?

There’s a huge difference when you have a partner at home to help.

I think parental involvement is so important and I think I did really well coping but it was a huge struggle as a single parent.

Some days we wouldn’t get home until 6-7 and then I had an hour or 2 to cook, eat, have playtime and downtime, bath and get ready for bed etc.

I can only imagine how challenging it would be if you had multiple kids or disabled kids.

At that age they are exhausted.

I have a real issue with homework at any age, let alone so young.

Kids should be encouraged to go home and play or do things like helping to cook homemade meals.

I think encouraging reading is good but I don’t think it should be done as part of homework.

I guess you could put a letter in their bag with a quote about how parental engagement can improve their academic performance.
And maybe suggest 10mins of reading and 10mins of spellings a day or even alternate them and have a printed sheet they can tick off each day.

Your frustration with parents is the answer to your entire problem. You’re not giving ‘homework’ to 6 year olds, you’re giving extra work to stressed, exhausted working parents who, after a day at work, also have their own ‘homework’ to manage in terms of shopping, life admin, cooking, laundry etc. They don’t need something else to ‘manage’ which may involve cajoling a tired, emotional child.

One bloody signature in the ‘reading book’ used to make me feel murderous - it was sometimes just the last straw in my nightie at midnight and not having switched off all night (and that was with high achieving kids and a fully functioning DH!)

And yes, you’re an exhausted working parent yourself but also a teacher. Teachers are from a demographic of notorious over-achieving self flagellating perfectionists. That’s why the Education sector is on its knees because you take on more and more shit and you’re all suffering burn out and stress and why many trainee teachers don’t bother finishing their first year. We are not all like you.

My solution? Take the parents completely out of the equation. Apart from reading, only give homework once a week that the child can manage, do and sort out themselves. Try it. Reward the eager bright sparks loudly and publicly and the peer pressure might get a few more wanting to show off their independence. Offer one 20 min lunch time or breakfast session for those that lag behind. Engaged parents don’t need crappy bits of homework to enrich their child’s learning - they do it naturally with excurricula stuff, cultural capital and regular trips to the library. So it’s about bringing the others up.

Getting kids used to being self sufficient (at their own level) is the key to resilience and growth mindset. And their background and home circumstances becomes less of a factor.