To not want to let the little thug take over the trampoline (but I did)

[CrowsInMyGarden]

Lighthearted. Sort of. Took my 2 year old granddaughter to soft play today. She was happily bouncing on the very small trampoline. Little boy, I'd say about 2, gets on and shouts "my turn" and starts jumping. Earlier on granddaughter happily shared the trampoline with another little girl, even though I'd say it was really just meant for 1 child (it's small) - they were both giggling and copying each other but this little guy made it clear he wasn't into sharing and wanted my GD Off. Started hitting and pushing her. I told him "don't hit her" in my best serious granny voice then his mum came over, apologised and got him off but then they came back about a minute later and they just stood there watching my GD bounce, with him screaming "my turn, my turn". After she had been on there for a few minutes more I picked her up and said "come on, we'll go on the slides" but AIBU for thinking why stand there and intimidate us? Perhaps intimidate is a bit of a strong word but there was a whole big softplay to go play in why not go play in it? I gave into his demands and regret it!

So there is a question here. If you took your child to a soft play or toddler group and they were playing with something that belonged to the centre and another child came along demanding a turn what would you do? I guess I'd say "no, XX is playing with it" but then if she hogged it for too long encourage her to play with something else. It has been years since I've mingled with other people's kids and I think I am way more protective of my GD that I was of my own little ones.

He was waiting for his turn and probably wanted to make sure nobody else got on it.

You're being an over protective granny.

YANBU op. I wouldn’t have let my child (of either sex) behave like that boy. It’s just ugly behaviour and if you don’t nip that in the bud at 2 when do you? But this is why I avoided soft play - I couldn’t stand the pushy shovey mentality and the idea that’s it’s somehow normal and inevitable.

I think I would understand that he is two and therefore has limited ability to wait, share or be patient. He was not being a thug or intimidating he was just being a typical self centred 2 year old. Fine to make him wait a bit but ultimately in a shared play area if others are waiting your kids might not be able to have a long go on equipment.

Standing and intimidating us? Or standing in line? Did it have cheese counter numbers or did you need to stand in line to keep your place?

the kid was 2, he hasn’t hit social skills yet. He doesn’t have impulse control yet.

how long had she bounced before he jumped on?
how much longer did she jump after you told him to wait.

I normally say 5 bounces and then swap. and then if there are just 2 of them taking turns I count 5 and swap,
5 and swap and make that part of the game

I was told my thriving and gorgeous (then) 18month old son was a brute at a gymboree class (by the mother of a limp and feeble child)
and in the moment really upset me.
he’s ten years old now and obviously now I realise how pathetic that woman was, but no two year old is a thug, having that mindset meant you probably responded to him less kindly than you would have another child.

Children need to take turns on public or shared equipment. I can't imagine being 'intimidated' by a two year shouting 'it's my turn'.

I can't get beyond "little thug".

That's horrible.

Would that still be your stance if your kid was desperate to play on the trampoline and someone else refused to get off, even if they'd been on there ages?

It's one of my pet peeves when a child is on a toy like this and doesn't give the chilren waiting their turn a turn. If it was DD, after a few minutes i'd tell her to let the other child have a go. If it was some other child, after a few minutes I would tell the child, or the parent if they were nearby, that it's time for DD (or other random child also waiting) to get a turn.

I think you're going to have to work on your softplay and playground skills. it's not okay for your DGD to hog the trampoline for ages.

Editd to add - a "few minutes" is probably more like 1. It feels liek a lifetime though! For me, for the child waiting etc. And seconds for the child ON the toy!

Absolutely

Acutally, I was really annoyed abotu this at a playground just the other day. DD is 10 so I don't have to supervise her closely. I was walking the dog on the broader perimeter. I could see two children on the swings, mum standing aroudn watching. DD standing around politely waiting her turn. I'd done TWO laps of the bigger fiel (so probalby about 10 nminutes of walking) and they STILL hadn't given her a turn. So I came over and politely but firmly asked if perhaps someone else could have a go. The mum was all /"Oh, I didn't notice her". Bollocks, DD was standing right there. Then I did one lap and came back to tell DD to give someone else a turn but I didn't need to, she'd already jumped off and given the swing to someone else.

Could the mum have been trying to teach her son to wait, watch the little girl and your turn is next ? 2 year olds can’t grasp if waiting for your turn takes 2 minutes or 20– it all seems too long to them.

Intimidating you? This is a pretty wild interpretation. They were simply waiting .. And yes, they would need to wait because the minute you leave the trampoline somebody else will be on it and 2 year olds are very stubborn when they want to do a particular thing. The mum taught him that you need to wait for your turn. Whereas you think softplay is only for your precious granddaughter who apparantly won't learn to share when with you. I used to tell mine "now people are waiting to have a go so have five more jumps and we will go discover xy". I hope her parents teach her to share because it's an important life skill.

so unbelievably selfish! My son wanted to go on a swing when he was 2. He waited by the swing while 2 kids were on it for about 20 mins, behaving beautifully (while I was giving their scuzzy, scummy selfish mum’s the evil eye). How selfish can you get!

He was pushing and hitting because he wanted to go on it alone, which is perfectly reasonable, and you allowed your GD to stay on it for too long.

So you say to the 2 year old. OK how about dgd does 100 bounces then it's your turn. Let's count her bounces.

You know like an adult

Your GD had already been playing on the trampoline before the boy joined. When he did, the boy was unruly, so the mum took him away. A few minutes after that they returned and waited quietly until you got the hint that it really should indeed be the boy’s turn.

Sounds like your GD had been occupying this solo activity for long enough. Time to give someone else a turn.

Sorry no I don't agree. Especially when it's the only trampoline in there and most children will want a go. You have to teach them there are other children in there also wanting their turn. I have autistic children I was told from a young age you have to have the same rules as you would an adult with LD.

Otherwise they think that behaviour is ok. But then the rules change and they've got to unlearn that behaviour and expect what you would from an older child. There were times I have had to leave places because of their behaviour. But they have to learn it's not acceptable. It's easier to deal with a toddler having a meltdown than a teen.

Standing there intimidating you?? 🤣🤣🤣

It's called a queue!!

Did she reward him tho or bring him back to show him you stand and wait your turn until the little girl is finished? She should have commented on the shouting tho. I've definitely had other children wait at swings/seesaws in park. I let my child finish and then moved on. If my dc were going on a bit longer I'd say it's someone else's turn now.

Unless you are going to state an actual point around that fact what's the use of posting?

'After she had been on there for a few minutes more I picked her up and said "come on, we'll go on the slides"'

A few minutes. Too long at age 2. The courteous thing to do is to indicate to everyone that it was almost the next persons turn; I used to use a countdown i.e. '10 more seconds on the trampoline because this little boy is waiting'.

It sounds like you’d have been happier if they had played on the trampoline together which is really dangerous and one of the most common causes of head and neck injuries in a&e.

I think your gd was hogging the trampoline and the other dm handled it well, first by correcting her ds and then by adding her presence when you were ignoring him waiting.

Mum was standing there with him to teach him to wait his turn. YABU for saying it's intimidating. He wanted to go on it, so now he's waiting. If he went to play somewhere else while he waited, then someone else is likely to have got on it.

She was making him wait his turn!!

Soft play is like a war zone. It gets worse as they get older until one day you decide that you will not go ever again.
But I would have moved my child on rather than stand there hovering.