To move my brother to a cheaper care home?

[Rollwithitperhaps]

My brother has vascular dementia and has been in a care home for over 2 years. He is self funding. I have had a few concerns - clothes going missing - no access to his daily regime now (used to have a folder in his room but have now gone digital and cannot get access). They must now be on their well into double digits as far managers are concerned since he’s been there. Just been notified today that his monthly fees will rise by £700 per month to £7300 pm. I’ve been told that if I move him he will deteriorate - he is settled there but largely unaware of very much - he knows my face but not my name or who I am. He only eats and sleeps really. Should I try to find somewhere cheaper that looks after his needs and risk him dipping or leave him where he is?

Clothes going missing is completely standard unfortunately.

My mum put name tapes on all grandma's clothes which did reduce it but with laundry being done in large batches it is inevitable some gets lost.

I wouldn't move over that because wherever else you go is likely to be as difficult from this perspective.

For the rest, you need to balance how much you are worried that the managers don't share info with you against the likelihood he will deteriorate if he moves.

A friend who is a care home manager - she just said to be prepared for a drop in his mental health - it pretty low as it is

He is 73 now no age really

My close relative is in a care home with majority dementia residents and she's paying £5k per month. The care she receives is very good and there's a low staff turnover. However, her clothes go missing regularly (usually the M&S ones) despite being labelled. Once a month(ish) I chase them up in their laundry room, return all the crappy stuff she's 'inherited' from them and retrieve her own clothes. Recently, I put pictures of the clothes I bought her on the laundry wall (taken from the online M&S orders) and wrote that she needs them back! It's my only complaint but it does drive me crackers.

I notice that you said there had been a series of interim managers and now they've appointed a new permanent manager. Hopefully, they've been brought in to improve things.

If you are worried about moving him... ( and also to ask why the cost has gone up) and about the digital records, then I think that it might be a good idea to give it one more try at telling the new manager your concerns and seeing how far they are prepared to go in addressing them.

You could follow up with a written summary of the conversation and what you understood their proposals were and schedule another meeting in a reasonable time to see if your concerns had been addressed.

In the meantime, maybe investigate alternatives... by then you will have a clearer picture of what to do. Best of luck.

Just to add that the £5k is a new figure this month, it used to be lower but the care home had to put it up due to to fuel increases and National Insurance.

How do people self fund that it’s over half a million pounds a year ?

Thank you - I have met with the new manager and I got given his care plan - bit meaningless as it hasn’t changed since he was admitted - I’ve met with several new managers but they seem to last a few months then another interim comes in

I used to work for Mind in a dementia care home. You can absolutely transfer patients from other homes and they improve in a good home - I’ve seen it. If your brother is reasonably chilled anyway i see no reason why he wouldn’t be okay.

Gosh! I have no words - you don't begrudge, I do, on behalf of everyone who has to pay for their old age care like that - having built up the country, made it the wonderful UK I used to know up until early 1990s, and then were discarded, left to their own devices. Makes me mad with rage - and all this whilst strangers who contributed nothing, and will never contribute anything in the future, are given the best treatment. Gosh, I knew it was dear, I had no idea - this is insulting.

This must be a typo, my mum has Alzheimer's and we've been visiting lots of care homes recently. We have never been quoted anything like these prices.

Where the heck are you working and what is the care home offering to customers/clients at such extortionate fees?

Thank you so much for all your responses - truly grateful - I don’t know about others but I have found all of this very difficult - as I’ve said, my brother and I were never close, I probably saw him every few years until this - now see him every week! I do resent the time I have spent sorting him out as he has never once helped me but he is my brother and I love him x

Taking money out of it, you're concerned at the standard of care, and, there is high staff turnover. These 2 things are massive red flags and would have me looking elsewhere.

This is completely naive

Doesn’t mean it’s good. My best friend’s mum was in a care home specialising in vascular dementia. Cost over £8000 a month. She appeared unwashed and uncared for. My friend put a camera clock in the room and uncovered abuse and neglect to an appalling level. It made the local news and the care home was put into special measures as a result.

That’s scary - I don’t think that is what is happening here

Friends’ mum has vascular dementia. Care home was just under £8000 a month when the ‘necessary’ add ins to care were taken into account. She was subsequently found to be neglected and when the CQC investigated they put the home into special measures. TBH I’m sure suitable overnight and frequent day time care at home could be sourced for less than this.

Why is it naive ? Homes specialising in dementia care are frequently found to be lacking because the residents are not really in a position to complain. Relatives have to be on the ball and aware of signs of abuse/mistreatment.

I would think they mean hundreds not thousands, yes.

My FIL is in a dementia care home in Shropshire self funding at just under 4k a month, it's good, not a plush hotel type but they are meeting his needs for now. He qualifies for nursing funding but the home can't claim it as they ate not nursing registered. He is settled so moving him is not in his best interests at the moment unless his needs increase.

When the money runs out OP, the local authority will pay but likely they will move him to the cheapest they can find unfortunately

They simply don’t unless they’re super rich. This has to be a typo.

The taxpayer apparently.

There are some kids that have care packages in excess of a million a year paid for by the LA. That’s what council tax pays for.. social care, things like bins and children’s centres are a tiny tiny amount.

Private investors have bought up care homes, slashed costs and increased profits 🫠

It is quite possible he may deteriorate if you move him. However, my mother's care home had no such qualms. She was moved by the home several times.
First Home - emergency care for a few weeks.
second home for 2 years. (we were asked to move her)
Third home for a few years, and then moved to a different 'nursing' wing. (different staff, etc).
So, it did not matter to them that she was moved.
My DM may have deteriorated, but she still lived in the Care system for around 10 years and died aged 99.
As your DB is self Funding, they will be relying on him to subsidise those placed by the council, who pay less than the cost of the care provided. (Sorry but this is what happens, because the council cannot afford to pay the high fees).
Clothes do sometimes go missing, and so it is good to have them all labelled, etc. Worse is when someone takes their medication!! Yes that has happened.
I personally found it very annoying that we were constantly asked to provide soap, etc until my DS asked why when she provided a box of 6 soaps on her previous visit. Obvious that the staff were using it for someone else!.
That said, I would not necessarily move him, unless you were confident that another home would not have the same issues.

And unfortunately once he isn’t self funding any more, the attendance allowance will stop.

And the poster who said the care fees had increased because of staff costs/NI increases is actually being asked to pay more because the owner isn’t making enough of a profit. Care should be taken out of the private sector, because the figures being quoted here are insane. It’s a licence to take advantage of the most vulnerable people in the country.