To move my brother to a cheaper care home?

[Rollwithitperhaps]

My brother has vascular dementia and has been in a care home for over 2 years. He is self funding. I have had a few concerns - clothes going missing - no access to his daily regime now (used to have a folder in his room but have now gone digital and cannot get access). They must now be on their well into double digits as far managers are concerned since he’s been there. Just been notified today that his monthly fees will rise by £700 per month to £7300 pm. I’ve been told that if I move him he will deteriorate - he is settled there but largely unaware of very much - he knows my face but not my name or who I am. He only eats and sleeps really. Should I try to find somewhere cheaper that looks after his needs and risk him dipping or leave him where he is?

Thank you. I totally misread it.

Your not happy. Enough reason to go look and see what else us around.

How do people afford this?

Oh thank you for that - he’s gets full Attendance Allowance £400 approx pm but that’s it - I’m not sure he’d get nursing care - he is very healthy apart from the dementia - still kicks a football around very well (ex-footballer). He has enough funds for another 8 years or so.

is there any risk of his money running out? If so, certainly right to move him.

I’m so very sorry that happened to your dad - that is what I’m scared of - you had no choice but I do and I don’t know what to do

I’m inclined to believe this is incorrect. I have worked in this area since 2003 and the norm is around £900 to a few thousand a week depending on needs. A completely bed bound client was paying under £2000 a week.

I can't believe these prices. My mother's fees for a dementia care home were £4500 a month (south east). The staff were superb, all the senior staff had been there for many years.

When it comes to best interests you do have to consider costs. I tried to budget so that the money would last the rest of my mother's life, while also providing good care. (I am not a beneficiary of her Will so nothing in it for me either way.)

If you're running through £7300 a month and are not happy with the care that is a good reason to look around and see what else is available.

7,300 per month is a horrifying amount of money but it's on the inexpensive side for dementia care. I doubt if you'd find anything much cheaper. However, the care doesn't sound good so you need to weigh up how much it would upset him to move, against possible benefits in getting him more stimulation and kindness.

I’m SE as well - he has an income of £3000 pm so £4,300 pm to fund - money is there and should last for many years - I’ll take a look around as you do have to consider costs - I’ve no idea what would happen if the money runs out - would he have to move.

I'm not sure you'll get anywhere much cheaper, so maybe focus on the quality of care if you consider moving him.

DF has dementia and currently pays £7,500 pm. Before the annual increase last April the cost was £6,000, so not looking forward to this April!

Is hideously expensive, but unfortunately necessary. DF is self funding again - self funded till savings were gone, short time funded, then when DM died a charge is going on their house, so potentially the whole lot will be gone on DFs care.

Liars and robbers they are. This is shocking. It would be better, if you have that sort of money to spend, to let him live in his own accommodation and move in a specialist health professional with him.

I’d look at moving him just because this care home doesn’t sound very good. Is your brother turning his own trousers inside out? If they can’t ensure he has basic dignity by being dressed properly then they aren’t good enough.

There is research out there that if someone moves when they have dementia they are likely to deteriorate. If your DB can afford it then he should continue to live there unless you do genuinely believe he is not being well cared for, the decision should be made in his best interest and given the home have already raised that he would deteriorate you could end up with the involvement of the Court of Protection if you try to move him.

Have you accessed any support (and possibly any funding) from the Professional Players' Association?

https://www.thepfa.com/players/brain-health/family-support-advisors

I think it’s only natural when faced with a steep rise in fees to question how happy you are with your brother’s current home. It sounds like there are underlying issues where he currently resides if the staff turn over is that high, and theft from residents is occurring. Why not go and have a look at the alternative homes and see how they compare? He is your brother, follow your instinct. There’s no harm in looking ! Who told you he would be unsettled if moved?

Is there any impartial health care professional you can talk to who isn't linked to the home, who you could dicuss implications of moving him?

@Rollwithitperhaps what age is your brother now OP?

The only thing that would worry me from what you've written is that there's a high turnover of managers. I've also seen elderly people with dementia go downhill rapidly with a move. I think if he's happy and settled, and the day-to-day staff you've interacted with have been kind, then leave him.

I did consider that in the beginning but a friend, who is a care home manager, said not as you are totally responsible if care breaks down - said my life would be over - she can’t take him unfortunately

24 hour care at home is extremely expensive, certainly as much as a care home or more. And then the OP has the problems of sorting it all out etc.

Care is expensive, my mother without dementia is paying nearly £8k/week, albeit it a lovely home with lovely staff. She chose the home and had saved (she thought) enough to fund it. So to me £7,300 for dementia care doesn’t seem that bad.

I certainly don’t begrudge my mother’s care costs. She gave us four children a great upbringing and deserves the best. She’s 100 this year and still enjoying life.

2 of my neighbours have dementia, both males, one is in a care home with a floor just for dementia clients, unfortunately he had to wait about 4 months for a vacant room to become available. the other has a live in carer, both are paying £2,000 per week, we are South East. My Mum was in a care home, even after putting name tags in her clothes, they did go missing, especially new M&S clothes, after this I only bought her cheaper clothes, even some from charity shops, these tended to not go missing, she was in this home for 6 years and she had her favourite staff, but on the whole was looked after, enjoyed the food and as the home was near my Dad, it suited us well.

See I crossed posts with @Rollwithitperhaps !

That care home will soon want him to move once his money runs out. They won't be so concerned on the impact to him then.

I'd look for a better care home, if it's cheaper (which means the money will last longer, then all the better.

Simple answer is I don’t know - when I visit his shoes are sometimes on the wrong feet - I’ll tell him to switch which he does but he might switch back when I’ve gone