What's the worst thing someone did when you had a baby?

[JustBiscoff]

Currently 37 weeks pregnant with DC2, and really starting to feel the wear and tear of juggling opportunities to rest, with working part-time and looking after a very active two year old.

The birth of DC1 had been a fairly traumatic forceps delivery, in which I lost almost 2.5 litres of blood and the baby was quite badly jaundiced, therefore requiring a prolonged stay in hospital. DC was the first grandchild/great nephew for both sides of the family, so received a constant flow of visitors in the first fortnight at home. PIL visited on day 3, and expected to be waited on hand and foot. I was still bleeding, barely able to stand up, and having a nightmare establishing breastfeeding...cue MIL clicking her fingers at DH, to 'collect the baby from his wife' so she could have a turn holding him. FIL asked me to leave the room twice whenever I needed to breastfeed, and following an hour long photo shoot of MIL holding DC (it later transpired they hadn't taken a single photo of me holding him), she demanded to know when dinner would be ready, 'because we've had such a tiring car journey'. At that point, DH almost saw red, and firmly cut the visit short, sending PIL on their way. I hope they are more considerate this time round!

When my twins were born, my husband and I agreed a "policy" before hand of how often people could visit. So grandparents we thought fortnightly was nice and try to still stick to that 3 years later. People got given slots. And for grandparents (not many others were invited early) we asked them to pick up a takeaway order on the way to feed all of us. Meant we didn't need to cook, do dishes or wait on anyone.

ExH phoned me on the ward fairly late the night I'd had our DD - to check who I'd seen and spoken to (men in particular) and to make sure I'd drawn the curtains around the bed when breastfeeding! Funnily enough, after a long labour and then pushing a good sized baby out of my vag, I wasn't up to flirting with other husbands or doctors. Nob

How awful op. You need to prioritise you this time!

So many things happened....a taxi driver rubbed my neli a few days post cesarean!!!
SIL toddler coughed over newborn putting them in hospital with respiratory virus for 10days...claimed it was nothing....I could go on.

After giving birth to my twins, I was breastfeeding and had a knock on the door. I shouted to come in and a male cleaner did. He noticed what I was doing and quickly left. I thought he was probably in the wrong job if couldn't cope with breastfeeding mothers and i didnt care at all. Even funnier/offensive was that when he returned later to finish the job and my husband was there, the cleaner apologised to him!!

Are you having a FUCKING laugh??

I actually can't believe PILs like this exist. It makes me want to go down on my knees and thank the Lord for my slightly annoying but nice MIL and the time we had with my lovely FIL.

What a couple of absolute twats. They need telling to fuck ALL the way off this time but most importantly they need telling exactly why.

When I complained that my Mum had cancelled a trip out with me and 3 week old DD (ten minutes before we were due to leave the house) to spend the day with her boyfriend, she said "Buts he's my priority now and I wont apologies for that" She has begged for a grandchild for years, at one point telling me the only thing that would make her happy was grandchild and I was purposely making her miserable by not having one. 🙄

I got asked if I'd gotten him into a routine yet.

I was still in Hospital. He was 9 hours old.

My mum suffers with recurring cold sores and implied I was a drama queen when I said no to her kissing my baby!

Wow, but not to you? Brilliant

@The3rdWatermelon that's awful! I'm really sorry that happened to you. Did you make a complaint about the midwife?

Gosh some of these are really awful!! Nothing like kicking a woman when she’s in one of the most vulnerable positions she’ll ever be in!
Mine is pretty mild overall. MIL, who’s otherwise very lovely, has a habit, it would seem, of repeating stories about one of her friends who had a stillbirth and one who’s baby son died of SIDS at 3 months old, while I’m heavily pregnant. She did it last time, and she’s doing it again now. I’ve asked her several times not to go on like it but she can’t seem to help herself. Perhaps she’s anxious, but for fucks sake, it’s the last thing I want to be thinking about while heavily pregnant/with a newborn!

My in laws lived about 150 miles away so we didn’t see them often. My MIL, her husband, my SIL, her husband, and their child had planned to visit when DS2 was two weeks old. Staying in a local hotel.
DS ended up being 9 days overdue, so they came over just days after he was born.
It was a traumatic birth, and I was extremely delicate.
DH went to answer the door when they arrived and I stood up with DS in my arms so they’d see him as they walked into the living room.
MIL walked in first, came over to me, jiggled my belly (beneath the brand new baby I was holding) and said ‘bloody hell, have you got another one in there!?’
SIL heard as she walked into next and her jaw hit the floor. She shouted ‘Oh my god Mum, I can’t believe you just said that!’ and MIL replied ‘What..? I was only joking!’ 😶
I’ve never felt so shit before, or since.

Another new mother in the maternity ward loudly saying to the other mums ‘hah! - you can tell which ones aren’t married’ because I made myself presentable before my partner came in to visit. I wasn’t married at that time (our first was a surprise - but we’ve now got 38 years under our belts!) and I’d just had a very traumatic forceps/rotation delivery of large baby with damage to both of us. Already felt like crp and her btchy comment made me feel absolutely desolate …

Hi OP,
Sorry to hear your PIL were so unreasonable and frankly rude when visiting your first DC. Having recently had my second I have to stay I've been much more confident to put boundaries in place with people's etiquette when visiting new baby...please for your own sanity come up with techniques to (politely) tell PIL where to go if they pull this sh*t again (or better still get hubby to!)...making you go into another room to BF in your own home is mindblowing. Perhaps have some biscuits in (good for a munch when you're snuggling newborn anyway!) but be firm that that is the only offering and these people are not entitled to a bloody meal! Sounds like your PIL need telling.

My midwife’s advice was to stay in bed. If you are in bed others make you tea, not vice versa.

In the olden days, and I understand in America still, you would expect several days in hospital recovering. The fact you are discharged within a day is because you are not ill. It does not mean you are recovered from the birth and able to play hostess.

The day after my home birth the hoards arrived . Brought their toddlers with them to play with mine . Which I didn't need. Sat there for hours as my DH and I made teas , searched for biscuits . No shopping had been done as baby came early . Not really presentable , scruffy nightie and robe on. Next day , a Sunday,was better organised. And no one called !
MIL was in the house when midwife came . Instead of leaving me and DH to talk , she sat there butting in . Midwife suggested that DH take baby a few nights to give me a break. MIL said it was outrageous as he had to go to work and besides FIL never did any nights .

Oh, I'm so sorry 💐.
How self-centered. I'm guessing she still has form, but you're trying to make the best of a shit situation ☹️.

One of my in laws turned up to our ds christening with a face like a slapped arse, flounced off instead of coming to the family dinner afterwards, then sent a foul message berating us for not making her godmother and demanding an apology. She's never really spoken to us since. Fine by me 😊

Someone who has a job and wants/needs to keep it?