What's the worst thing someone did when you had a baby?

[JustBiscoff]

Currently 37 weeks pregnant with DC2, and really starting to feel the wear and tear of juggling opportunities to rest, with working part-time and looking after a very active two year old.

The birth of DC1 had been a fairly traumatic forceps delivery, in which I lost almost 2.5 litres of blood and the baby was quite badly jaundiced, therefore requiring a prolonged stay in hospital. DC was the first grandchild/great nephew for both sides of the family, so received a constant flow of visitors in the first fortnight at home. PIL visited on day 3, and expected to be waited on hand and foot. I was still bleeding, barely able to stand up, and having a nightmare establishing breastfeeding...cue MIL clicking her fingers at DH, to 'collect the baby from his wife' so she could have a turn holding him. FIL asked me to leave the room twice whenever I needed to breastfeed, and following an hour long photo shoot of MIL holding DC (it later transpired they hadn't taken a single photo of me holding him), she demanded to know when dinner would be ready, 'because we've had such a tiring car journey'. At that point, DH almost saw red, and firmly cut the visit short, sending PIL on their way. I hope they are more considerate this time round!

A friend of a friend plucked my ds out of his pram,and when I walked back into the room,she told me that the last two babies she'd held,both died of cot death the same day

That made my pnd get really bad and I didn't sleep for the next few months as I was convinced he'd die in his sleep

I'd just given birth and my parents had my other dc

Got home and my father had thrown everything that was upstairs down them

Everything that was upstairs was poured down the stairs with the kids bouncing on top of it-beds,wardrobes,clothes,toys,bathroom bits-everything

All I wanted was a cup of tea,but had to spend hours (less than 24 hours after giving birth) trying to put everything back-my father gave me a cheery wave and fucked off

I'd just had dd1and all I wanted was to go home and put my pyjamas on

My (narcissistic) mother dragged me to her house (i was 19 and a lot less able to stand up to her)and every single person she'd ever met and a lot of her side of the family (i didnt know these people) seemed to come round for a gawp

I couldn't see my own baby as they passed her from person to person and they refused to hand her back to be fed and put down,so she got fussy and started screaming

When I kicked off,I got a slap and was told not to be so ungrateful-one silly cow told me to behave or my mother wouldn't babysit-this was my mother's moment,not mine

I lost it,grabbed my baby and went home

It's still mentioned (28 years on) how nasty I was that day-im nc with her now but she still bangs on about it apparently

Seeing other MN posts about how relatives behave in the first days after birth has been really eye opening. We are planning this time to keep visits to a minimum for the first 3-4 days, and certainly will be making it clear that we have no intention of cooking extravagant meals!

As for FIL's comments about breastfeeding, DH was furious when he found out, and made it clear that such comments would not be accepted if they wished to receive a warm welcome in our house going forwards.

My ex-husband, after seeing me go through a 22 hour labour and emergency C-section, told me when our child was 4 weeks old that I was “too pathetic to even give birth properly.”

My horrible narc mother came into the hospital room, physically pushed me out the way to get to my son, then had her partner at the time take an entire reel of photos of her and my baby in various poses. She'd had her hair and makeup professionally done for it.

I, on the other hand, had haemorrhaged giving birth and looked I'd just been dug up from the dead.

Then she made a "Nanny's brag book" out of the photos and carried it around with her, wafting it in the face of anyone who was vaguely interested, claiming to be the world's best mother and grandmother that ever existed.

I've got way worse stories than that but I'd be here all day.

Midwife refusing to discharge me because my baby wouldn't latch on and I said I'd like to go home and bottle feed. Awful woman. Thankfully my husband told her in no uncertain terms that I was going home because after 3 days of no sleep, I was in no state to.

When DS was 10 days old FIL told me that I “should be careful when out walking with the pram as a car could mount the pavement and kill you both.” I was WTF?!

I was in hospital with my first for five days; DH did all the running about, spending as much time as he could with us, taking the washing home, bringing me food etc. He was as knackered as me really.

When we got home his parents turned up an hour later, and his Dad had a go at him for the grass not being cut, because 'you've had a baby but life goes on'.

I mean...yeah it does, but priorities man!

My mother told all her family my eldest was born (I was a teen before) before telling my dad (her husband who we lived with) that his daughter was in theatre unwell and his grandchild had been born.

Subsequently child 2 and 3 we didn't tell anyone they were here for at least a week and intend to do it again with this one

Got home and my father had thrown everything that was upstairs down them

Why??

Probably when my eldest was about a week old. Ex in-laws were staying and were a liability in general but the worst thing they did was sneak into my bedroom and take my baby out her basket and out for a walk. I woke up to find my baby gone. Without wanting to sound dramatic it was one of the most distressing things that has ever happened to me. I was hysterical. Ex came in and told me what had happened and said they’d had to as I “wouldn’t share the baby”. I didn’t have an issue with them holding her I just didn’t want to be apart from her, I wanted her in the same room as me at all times.

I must have been so tired to not wake up when MIL sneaked in like the bloody child catcher but creepier.

I was wondering that. Read the post a few times incase I missed it. I’d go demented whatever the reason but I really want to know the rationale behind it!

Was in the car with my Dad driving. Mum in passenger seat.
I was in the back with my newborn son and my younger sisters.

Parents arguing so my Dad screamed he'd had enough and was going to kill us all and drove at a brick wall at about 60mph, then slammed on before we got to it.

Lovely stuff.

My MIL visiting the hospital after DC1 had been born ‘he looks just like you fluffygoon…. Poor little thing’. Things went downhill from there.

I can’t fathom it. A WARDROBE? Wtaf?

The other thing I hated but which I'm sure all the MILs and FILs on this will find completely acceptable, is when DH sends the text to say baby is born, to immediate family. And 10 minutes later loads of other texts start coming in, because parents and in-laws have forwarded the text to other, less close, friends and family.
Hated that feeling of it not being our news. Of suddenly there being loads of distant friends in the room with us through all those text messages.

When I read posts like this I wonder if there’s something wrong with me. I literally couldn’t care less if my PIL broke my baby ‘news’. I mean, I’ve got the baby - so what?

Very close family member text me in hospital to say a relative didn't like the name we had announced for our newborn- this meant she didn't like it! Said it was too modern. The name was a very old established well known name! Really no need it for!

Father of my child (long term relationship, over a decade) buggered off and got with another woman when our little one was weeks old. Few months later, she was pregnant and he only sees our little one EOW.

Feeling really vulnerable and knowing there is one of my most special and private photos, that is only minutes old, going round random people.

Quite simply,because he could

My mother is a narc and he enables her

She must have said something about upstairs being a bit untidy,(which it was-i hold my hands up to that but im talking a few toys and a pile of clothes that needed to be put away) which in his head meant 'dump all her crap down the stairs' which led to everything being thrown down it

He thought he was a genius and was 'helping' by dumping everything we owned (that lived upstairs) down them (it wouldn't have entered his spiteful head to just get the kids to put away their toys and pop the clothes away)

It doesn't make sense at all but that's my parents for you-nasty,narcissistic and spiteful-I'm the scapegoat

It didn't get any better until I went nc with them

I appreciate this is small fry compared to the other stories on this thread! But I wish people wouldn't forward texts. Especially not of half naked people who have just been through hell (however happy it is ultimately).

Mum visited me and baby once, then disappeared into a narcissistic identity crisis and didn't speak to me for months.

I’m not saying you’re wrong - I just genuinely don’t get it.

I have shared those pictures with people who wanted to see them happily. They’re just picture (to me).

Wow. That literally makes no sense at all. I’m sorry your parents were like that. Utterly bizarre.

My boyfriend and I took our newborn from Newcastle to Keighley to meet my boyfriends parents. We met Grandma in a cafe at lunch time. After we'd been there an hour she stands up to leave because her lunch hour was over and she was back to work. Unbelievable. Who does that?