Kids noise vs neighbours: AIBU to think that there is so much you can do when you have young children?

[karpouzi]

We have three kids, all under the age of four, and live in a period maisonette spread over the first and loft floor. Currently, our entire family sleeps in the loft. The eldest two share a bedroom, while the baby is still in our room. On the first floor, we have the kitchen and living area, as well as a double room, which is currently set up as a playroom. We’ve always had a strict rule that our kids are not allowed on the first floor before 8 a.m., unless they’re having breakfast in the kitchen.
However, our downstairs neighbor has been repeatedly complaining about the noise, especially on weekends, saying that it’s disturbing her sleep. She sends us long messages almost every week. We’ve explained that we have a double rug in the playroom, and that the kids are not allowed in that room before 8 a.m., even though they wake up around 6:30 a.m. We also arrange swimming lessons to be at 9am in the weekend so the kids are out of the house. Unfortunately, this is all we can do to minimize the noise. Now, we face a new challenge: the baby will soon need his own room. Our plan is to move him into the boys' room in the loft, which is fairly small. We also plan to get new beds for the eldest two and convert the playroom into a bedroom where the boys will also have space for their toys. The boys typically wake up between 6:30 and 7 a.m., and with this new setup, they will need to stay in their bedroom in the mornings. I’m really concerned that the complaints from our neighbor will escalate. What do other people do in situations like this? I feel I m getting fed and I will start ignoring her messages.

Note: When we renovated our kitchen we did add floor noise insulation but we don’t have the money to do any further renovations at this stage.

You suggest that and then call someone else ridiculous 😂

Definitely get carpets. Fitted ones.

You need carpet not rugs on a hard floor.

Wow wait till you have them going to school. Tantrums for wearing a uniform and getting out the house by 8.15 to get to school by 8.50! And oh my when they get in around 3.30pm they would have been suppressed of energy all day.
I agree for moving yourselves downstairs to the playroom. And think you need to talk to the neighbours face to face as what is written in a text can be misinterpreted.
Hope you get a solution sorted.

This issue can literally be solved overnight by installing underlay and carpet

You say you can't afford it, find the money. Otherwise the problem will continue.

This is ridiculous. Children make noise. They might just be playing with cars or Lego It sounds as though it is just normal day to day living with young children . It's hard for people who live underneath but that's part of living in a flat.
You can't punish a child for playing in their own home.

Dotjones are you serious?! The children should not have to creep about! 7 am is not early early. Maybe they don't want the playroom for their bedroom, maybe it's too small for two adults and furniture needed. Unless her kids are yelling and screaming, which would be a problem, I'd just ignore it.

Hilarious! I take it you don't have kids yourself??

There’s quite a lot of finger wagging at OP at what she should be spending her money on and how her children should be allowed to live in their own home but how about this - if Moaning Minnie downstairs doesn’t like the sounds of other humans normal daily activities, why doesn’t she sell up, take her 700k and move to a part of the county where 700k would get you a 6 bed detached and chunk of land as a buffer?
Peace. Glorious peace.

Good grief - they are all under 4 and you want to the OP to punish them everytime they make a noise. Really, listen to yourself. That's not at all helpful.

She knew there were children living upstairs when she bought the flat so she can't say anything now. You got on really well with your previous neighbour so I suspect it is just her. It sounds like you are doing all you can to minimise the noise. You can't afford to change the flat to further soundproof so she is just going to have to lump it!

But if OP moves, then the problem moves with her, right?

Tell neighbour to move to a detached house if they don't want to be bothered by neighbour sounds.

Except that they have floorboards and no carpeting which is why the noise is horrendous . . .. The majority of leases say no floorings other than carpets in all rooms except kitchen and bathrooms for that reason.

Hopefully ops neighbour takes action against her for private nuisance in the mags court. It's a good remedy.

Why can’t the OP move to a detached house if she doesn’t want to be a considerate neighbour?

Are you the neighbour downstairs to the OP?

Face punishment every time they disturb the neighbour?!

OP sounds like you are being as considerate as you can. I would go down and speak to neighbour and get to the bottom of what they can actually hear and go from there.
do you have carpet or wood flooring down?

Surely you must have had some days at home with the children being ill at some point? You say you are out from 8-6.30 and the kids are in nursery and camps. You have 3 very young children. The likelihood is that one or more would be unwell fairly regularly at some point so they couldn't go to nursery etc. Could that have contributed to the noise?

Grim. I feel for you🙁

You need to get carpet and underlay (as the majority have said) if you don't then you are being unreasonable.

I have empathy with the neighbour. My neighbours have several young children (who never seem to get any older) and they regularly play on the street outside shrieking away (I live at the end of a road so no through traffic) making a lot of noise, at worst loud enough that it intrudes over watching TV or having work-related Teams meetings. For some reason they never use the large playing field 50 meters away along the footpath. My friend on the other side of town has an even worse issue with her neghbour's kids thumping about up and down stairs before 7am on Sunday (they have hard flooring) and completely ignored her super-polite request that they encourage the kids to be a bit more soft footed. Beyond what you have done already I'm not sure, hopefully it will get better as the kids get older, it is unlikely they will want to get up at 6:30 am forever.

Why should the victim have to go through the effort, expense and possible impracticality of moving? The complaint isn't about any noise, it is about noise at a level that suppresses enjoyment of their home, there is no way anyone should be forced to move in that situation before all other options have been explored.

Sounds like you're being very considerate and if all sleeping in loft room then no noise at night. Are your under neighbours retired, night shifts, to find 8am waking them up? I can imagine it's noisy when it's all going so not ideal. Keep the kids upstairs and move to next floor is a good idea for new sleeping arrangements. Xx

what a pain! but your neighbour needs to lower expectations given they knew the set up! what are they doing to help their situation? ear plugs? white noise machine?

Consequences, do you realise that the children are under 4 and are not allowed downstairs until 8.00 am. Do you suggest that OP tied them to their beds or beat them up for disturbing the neighbours ?
I hope that you don't have young children

Agree you need to put proper carpet with a sound deadening underlay. Her option to drop ceilings and add more insulation or other improvements.

unless the kids are running around jumping and shouting then she has to stomach normal family noise. Another thing you can do is no shoes inside.

make clear to her you will control kids between x and y but you are doing well for 8am I think even 7 am is reasonable. She has options for earplugs and sleep sound masks.