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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being selfish

77 replies

Marie061976 · 24/02/2025 23:01

Me (51F) and partner (57M) like different types of music. He likes a more diverse range than me. Some concert tickets are going on sale on Friday and he really wants to go to the point he said it's on his bucket list. The only issue is that the only dates he can do are all abroad and will mean flights and accommodation totalling close to £1000 for the 2 of us including the tickets. It isn't music i even like or enjoy so I'm totally not enthused about going. I really don't want to spend £1000 on something I don't want to do. He will expect me to plan and book the flights and accommodation and I can't hide that I really just don't want you go. He said I'm being selfish. Please be honest am i?

OP posts:
Wishimaywishimight · 25/02/2025 13:44

Gonk123 · 25/02/2025 13:41

A concert is only a couple of hours. I am sure you can find something you’ll enjoy formyiurwel for you are going for a weekend. Also if you have been together for 17years, I don’t think his money and your money are a thing surely? It’s a joint thing no?

It's not really "joint" if OP pays for everything as he doesn't have the money though.

OP what happens if he still doesn't have money when you are away? Will you end up covering all expenses, food etc?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 25/02/2025 13:53

arethereanyleftatall · 25/02/2025 07:28

No op, no you're not selfish.

What you are is a people pleaser who is giving far far more in this relationship than you're getting back.

No, I'm not paying for it.
No, I'm not organising it.
No, I'm not going, I don't want to.
No, that doesn't make me selfish.

this

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