Would you leave a class WhatsApp due to a "mole"

[PsychoHacker]

I have one DC so I'm not very experienced with this sort of thing. I'm trying to work out if this is a non issue or if I have a right to be miffed.

There's a unofficial WhatsApp chat for DC's class. I've found it pretty useful as I don't have any other DC and this is my first rodeo with a child in school.

For a while now I've suspected that someone has been "feeding back" the chat to the school. The reason being that any time something is discussed, there seems to be a notice posted within a few hours, discussing exactly what was said in the chat.

I've not really given it too much thought as there is never anyone being malicious or saying anything bad about the school however there has been a few minor rants regarding the usual things like homework or school events etc.

There was a specific topic discussed recently that had nothing to do with the school, and there's no way the school would have any knowledge of it unless someone told them. Again nothing malicious however this really confirmed the "mole" theory for me.

Last week someone in the chat basically "outed" themselves as a friend of the teachers. Fine, doesn't make much of a difference to anyone however the more I think of it, the more uncomfortable it makes me.

Why would anyone feel the need to go running to the school with every little detail posted in this chat? Most of the topics are nonsense. Are they trying to score brownie points? Isolate themselves from the other parents? I just don't understand the thought process behind it.

I think I'll need to leave the chat as it's making me rather uncomfortable that someone is sharing my messages and input without my permission. Such a shame as the chat has been very helpful with keeping me informed with events and anything else school related. Wwyd?

We've got the opposite problem! One of the parents in our WhatsApp is a school governor and none of the concerns we raise in the group ever appear to make it to those in power.

I find this thread totally weird. It's a class WhatsApp group - not exactly classified information! If people aren't bitching about the teachers, I can't imagine for the life of me what people would be putting on the chat that they didn't want fed back to the school. Do people really post about private stuff on big group chats like this?

I honestly just don't understand the issue or why you would even think of leaving the chat. Even if someone is feeding back to the school - and they probably aren't! - what exactly are you worried about? What might you have put on there that you wouldn't want getting back to the school?

I don’t think we have any school/class based WhatsApp groups in our secondary school although there are probably a few small groups set up by parents who are friends with each other.

Must admit, it would have been handy to compare notes with other parents when my teen had flu last week during half term. I’ve never seen him so unwell and I wondered if it was something doing the rounds, but I had no-one to ask.
I eventually rang the GP surgery and spoke to the receptionist who clarified that there was a particularly nasty HA-1 flu virus doing the rounds.

It's a parents chat, set up by the parents to... chat.

It's not a chat to discuss and feed back info to the school.

It bothered me because someone is using it for their own personal gain without discussing it with the members first.

I'm sure if anyone wants to give the school feedback directly they would do so themselves. They don't need someone sneakily doing it behind their back without even as much as a discussion of their intentions.

I hope your teen is on the mend 💐

Are you sure it's a secret "mole" and not someone who has volunteered for the role? At my kids' school each class has a class rep, whose job it is to send reminders about things like non uniform days and school events to the WhatsApp group, and we also use the group for things like lost property and occasionally birthday party invitations etc.

If the school is posting notices about things that are discussed in the chat then they're clearly not insignificant details, or nonsense, but things that the wider group of parents could benefit from knowing about.

I'd stay in the group but keep it all bland and positive, and just don't gossip on the class WhatsApp group (or anywhere really).

How is someone "using it for their own personal gain"? Are you thinking someone is doing it because they think it will make the school show favouritism to their child, or they’re desperate to get praise from the headteacher, or get a gold star or something? (In fact they’re probably just being sensible enough to pass on things they think it would be useful for the school to know.)

And sadly many people just like to whinge but don’t have the gumption to do anything constructive about it, so the person letting the school know is doing everyone a favour. Schools are encouraged to do all they can to liaise with their "stakeholders", and address their concerns.

You seem to have a very strange attitude to schools and teachers, the same weird "us and them" attitude that some replies have demonstrated. It doesn’t bode well for you or your child for the next 14 years.

100%!! It always gets back to the teacher in our school!

That is because a WhatsApp group is not the right way to deal with concerns. In fact, the governor will have been told that they must separate their role as a parent from their role as governor. If anyone takes a complaint or concern to a governor they should immediately tell that person that they can't take it forward and the person should contact the headteacher.

A good governor won't even listen if approached, they will stop the person speaking to them and tell them to go to the head. Governors should do their best to remain 'untainted' in case there is a panel hearing. Governors with prior knowledge can't be on the panel.

What kind of personal gain would anyone be getting from it? I presume they're not actually getting paid to infiltrate the class WhatsApp group?!😂

As far as I'm concerned, a class WhatsApp is simply for the purposes of information sharing between parents. It would never even occur to me to expect that any "chat" would remain confidential. Do people really still not understand that putting things onto any big group chats is essentially putting them in the public domain for anyone to see?

Maybe save any private chat for conversations with friends that you know and trust?

Why is anyone saying things they wouldn't want repeated in the first place? Ours is all lost jumpers and school plays. Couldn't even imagine any gossip, however "light-hearted". It wouldn't be appropriate.

Well, how are you raising your concerns with the school? I certainly hope that you aren't expecting the parent governor to pick things up from your WhatsApp group, as that isn't their role at all.

Surely someone feeding back is a good thing ??

you say it’s not bitching about a teacher so any feedback such as too much homework or confusion on dressing up is worth feeding back

we have reps to feed back to the pta

can you not ask who is feeding back ? And maybe set rules ?

” hey everyone do we have a system for feeding back to the school anything relevant on here? do we have a class rep ? Should we set guidelines ie constructive feedback versus light heated venting ,maybe not everyone will want their comments fed back “

It's an unofficial chat so there's no rules.

See quote above. Read the reams of info you got when your child started, or the schools policy online, there will be something relevant. So just because it's "unofficial" does not mean that there are no rules. You are very much mistaken if you believe that.

That's fine, but in this case the Headteacher had simply stopped turning up to work - hadn't been seen in over a week. No announcement, nothing, apart from the fact that other members of staff had resigned prior to this and refused to serve their notice, leaving classes uncovered, afterschool activities cancelled, and so on. Then rumours started circulating that the HT had been suspended, along with speculation about reasons why.

One parent announced in the WhatsApp that they had asked the Deputy directly about the HT's absence and mentioning the rumours and were just blanked... and still absolutely nothing from the Governing Board. Parents asking others who knew staff members outside school what they knew because after weeks of this they were now openly questioning whether their children were safe... still nothing from the Governing Board but complete silence.

After several weeks of this, parents were openly discussing confidence in the Board. And yet still - complete and utter silence.

It was a case study in how not to manage a crisis.

Parent governors are specifically told in their training that they are not there to liaise between parents and the school or other governors, or act as a parents' spokesperson. They are there to give a parental perspective to issues being discussed by the governing board. They are supposed to encourage parents with concerns to go through the usual channels, i.e. raise them with the class teacher or headteacher.

Well, yes, it sounds like a mess, but that has absolutely fuck all to do with a class WhatsApp group, whether parent governors were a part of that group or not.

Why would this be definitely coming from the class chat though? If someone has thought enough of the homework being confusing or there being too many festive activities then it’s likely that someone completely different (and possibly not even in that class) has spoken directly to the teacher about it.

By the way it does sound like there has been some bitching- complaining about too many festive activities in a group in order to get people to agree with you with no plan to provide constructive solutions or criticism to the organisers? Bitching.

As a Chair of Governors, I’m intrigued. Did anyone contact the C of G, asking for a response? If they did, and didn’t get one, they could have contacted the LA or academy trust (assuming it wasn’t an independent school).

I can understand that there might have been good reasons why things had to remain confidential, but it certainly seems to have been dealt with very badly.

Yup, I'm a mole, because I always let the teacher know if something is discussed in the class whatsapp that might affect them or the kids. I'm a teacher myself as well, so generally pass anything on that I know I would have liked to know, for example if parents are complaining about the amount or difficulty of homework, because that's important feedback. Also, a few months ago there was a situation at one of the after school clubs that a lot of the kids attend (including my own), and I knew it would affect the dynamics in the classroom. I didn't name names, but checked if my daughter's teacher was aware what had happened, and then told her to talk to the club staff about it (the club's at the school but led by a different organisation). Anything to help her do her job more effectively, because we all benefit from that. Schools and parents should work together.

Shit-stirring, of course, is a different thing. If someone said something negative and personal about the teacher in a state of exasperation or annoyance, I wouldn't pass it on just like that, because it would just be unnecessarily hurtful. I'd remind the parent a class whatsapp is a semi-public space and to take up any issues they have with the teacher directly. Only if the negative comments continued would I inform the school.

I'm not sure if OP appreciates the difference though, or if they're too stuck in the us (parents) vs them (teachers) narrative.

The Chair of Governors was the parent governor in question!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course everyone recognises the need for confidentiality in most of the likely scenarios, but when people are asking where the HT is and are just being blanked, it's bizarre.

Just because the person didn't join in the WhatsApp conversation doesn't mean they can't raise it with the school if it is something they think should be raised. Likely they independently thought too many festive activities or whatever and when people on chat had same thought it gave them confidence to mention to school.

I would just assume anything you write on the group might be shared.
Personally when lockdown hit and the what's app parent groups went barmy just as schools were closing I left the group chats and never once missed them.

Sorry OP maybe I'm being thick but I'm struggling to understand. Someone has been repeating things that have been said on the WA group.... but it isn't offensive/shedding someone in a bad light... but you're annoyed that someone has repeated (presumably mundane) information ... but there was (presumably) no formal agreement that what was said can't be repeated. You're so annoyed that you're labelling the perpetrator with language more suited to a Russian spy for relaying information that (by the sounds of it) wasn't of great consequence.... I'm struggling to understand what the issue is here

Yes it is. The teacher was a lovely, long standing teacher who volunteered her time helping kids with maths at the school after she retired. (But was a class teacher when the incident happened.) I'm sure a large majority of parents would have only had good things to say about her, but in many schools you get a minority of dickhead parents who havent matured past the age of 14. I was laughing at the ridiculousness of an adult being immature enough to "be sent to the Head." It also happened when mums occasionally got into physical fights on school grounds or just outside.