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Original poster

Neighbour tried to get into DD car

110 replies

WeirdNeighbour · 22/02/2025 14:33

Wondering if I should say something to neighbour or not. Teen DD arrived home in her car, parked in road, finished her call in her locked car. She says she was just chatting quietly for less than 5 mins. She's not a loud person at all but I'm aware handsfree calls in cars can be loud outside of the car. However I didn't hear her and I was home, tv off, at that time.
Some neighbour she doesn't know and has never interacted with, ran into the street in her dressing gown, trying to open the car doors and shouting at DD for being loud and waking her children. Scared the shit out of DD.

I've advised DD that calls in cars can be louder than you'd think, so she'll be aware of that in the future, but we both agreed trying to open the car door and shouting were inappropriate. If the lady had said something in a reasonable manner, DD would have been mortified that she'd woken children and apologised profusely but as it was, this woman scared her.

Do I speak to neighbour to say sorry DD woke the kids but something something inappropriate behaviour, or just not bother. I have DDs permission to do so, but not sure I can be bothered.

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 22/02/2025 14:35

Weird behaviour. What time of day/night?

DoorToNowhere · 22/02/2025 14:39

I think the time makes a difference. Also, it clearly wasn't a nice experience, but if she's old enough to drive I shouldn't think her mum needs to get involved really.

Hankunamatata · 22/02/2025 14:46

I have a neighbour who takes hand free calls at night in his car. It's loud esp if bedroom window is open Parked car with engine running is loud too and nise disturbance in itself even more so at say 10pm

No I wouldnt talk with neighbour since your dd was the inconsiderate one.

outerspacepotato · 22/02/2025 14:48

Was this late at night? If so, DD can take her phone chat inside and not wake up the neighbors.

Neighbor was out of line trying to to get into the car.

Let your daughter deal with it.

Clearinguptheclutter · 22/02/2025 14:48

The neighbour was unreasonable to try and open the car door IMO but wasn’t unreasonable to speak to your dd if she was being loud

however if she is driving independently then presumably she is not far off 18 at the youngest so I’d not get involved

IamSmarticus · 22/02/2025 14:49

I know my neighbour has done this in the past, run outside to tell some noisy bugger in their car on their phone to shut up as she was trying to sleep. To be fair it was loud.

This was a few years back though so not your DD.

Clearinguptheclutter · 22/02/2025 14:49

ps was the car engine running? That would annoy me more than the conversation

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/02/2025 14:51

outerspacepotato · 22/02/2025 14:48

Was this late at night? If so, DD can take her phone chat inside and not wake up the neighbors.

Neighbor was out of line trying to to get into the car.

Let your daughter deal with it.

All of this!

Mumofyellows · 22/02/2025 14:52

If it's on hands free it's usually really loud! My neighbour does this and I can hear all of his conversations from the kitchen while I'm cooking.

LoveWatchingTheSea · 22/02/2025 14:52

The neighbour was out of order scaring your daughter however I can understand why they were pissed off.
Daughter and I were on the way out recently and neighbour was on his phone in his car, we both remarked how loud it was - all the windows were up but we could hear every word, I swear it sounded like there was a speaker blasting out his convo to the neighbourhood!

Anotherparkingthread · 22/02/2025 14:54

I guess the time is important, but I'd honestly side with DD on this. Neighbour sounds like a fucking loon and I'd have probably beeped the horn for a bit in response but I'm not very nice 🙂

BlitheSpirits · 22/02/2025 14:57

i think you should send your dd to apologisej

Frostynoman · 22/02/2025 14:59

The neighbour was unreasonable to try and get into the car.

Your daughter needs to not make car calls parked up in residential areas - they are stupidly loud. The amount of personal stuff I’ve heard from people having convos in our street is vast.

I would be tempted to knock and agree that it’s loud, that she didn’t realise and state that none of that warranted her trying to enter the car. I would however be crystal clear with what actually happened before I did knock.

PanicPanicc · 22/02/2025 15:13

I don’t get it, was she in the car with the doors open or something? Never in my life have I experienced this issue and I’m from a “loud” country.

If DD wants to apologise sure, but she should only do it after letting the neighbour know they have no right to try and get into anyone’s car, much less a young girl.

roseymoira · 22/02/2025 15:24

I'm guessing this isn't the first ever time DD has done this, and the neighbour is at the end of her tether

ForLoyalBiscuit · 22/02/2025 15:28

Something does not add up here. If OPs daughter was really only chatting for less than 5 minutes then there would not be enough time for the neighbour to be disturbed, realise where the noise was coming from and then go go out the house and across the street. I suspect the incident went on far longer than the OP has been told. I'd be telling daughter to refrain from making calls in the car in future.

TwentyTwentyFive · 22/02/2025 15:33

roseymoira · 22/02/2025 15:24

I'm guessing this isn't the first ever time DD has done this, and the neighbour is at the end of her tether

Agreed. Whilst unacceptable to try and open the doors I can't believe your daughter would need to be told how bloody loud calls are when done handsfree in the car.

We have a twit of a neighbour who does this frequently, despite several people telling him how loud is and that we can hear every word. Especially in the late evening the noise really is incredibly inconsiderate and carries a long way.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 22/02/2025 16:13

Slightly OT but do the people using the phone in their car not realise how loud it is or just not care? I have heard so many deeply personal conversations from people sitting in their car using the hands free. The most recent being last week at a shopping centre carpark waiting for my friend to return and the person parked next to me was on the phone to someone who'd evidently just been to a medical appointment and was detailing the whole thing. It was a busy carpark and me and the anyone nearby could hear the whole thing clearly.

I'm assuming the person speaking at the other end of the phone had no idea they were revealing such personal information to a good number of strangers and I'm hoping the person they were telling (who was sitting in their car) didn't realise either. Otherwise that's one hell of a dick move.

FarmGirl78 · 22/02/2025 16:17

PanicPanicc · 22/02/2025 15:13

I don’t get it, was she in the car with the doors open or something? Never in my life have I experienced this issue and I’m from a “loud” country.

If DD wants to apologise sure, but she should only do it after letting the neighbour know they have no right to try and get into anyone’s car, much less a young girl.

I'm assuming it wasn't how loud the Daughter was talking herself, but that she had her phone connected to the Bluetooth so the other person's half of the conversation was coming over the car speakers and booming away loudly. You can hear bluetooth conversations really clearly even with the windows closed.

coldscottishmum · 22/02/2025 16:19

Really strange behaviour, I’m saying that as mum of 3 and one who wakes easily.
If anything a gentle knock on the window and ask her to turn the volume down but even at that I’d wait and if it exceed 20ish minutes then I would ask, depending on the time of night.
No one needs to see me in my dressing gown. I have committed to the indoors once the dressing gown is on!

CerealPosterHere · 22/02/2025 16:21

I doubt the neighbour was trying to actually get into the car was she? That wouldn’t make sense, I doubt she wanted your Dd to take her for a drive. I suspect she was wanting to talk to her and stop the noise from your Dd .. Yes knocking on the window would have made more sense but if it’s late (what time was it) maybe she’d just been woken up as well/kids have been woken up and was at the end of her tether and cross and wasn’t thinking straight.

ItGhoul · 22/02/2025 16:27

I have a neighbour who regularly takes calls in her car outside my house (I think because she lives with her parents and doesn’t want to talk in front of them) and it can be pretty loud and annoying.

Obviously your neighbour shouldn’t have tried the door of the car, but I’m guessing she was at the end of her tether with her kids not sleeping or whatever.

amusedbush · 22/02/2025 16:28

Trying to open the car door was very unreasonable on your neighbour’s part but I sympathise with the desire.

My neighbour gets home from work late (after 11pm) and often sits in his car talking to his girlfriend over bluetooth. Not only can I hear every word she says from inside my house, it’s a particularly annoying, bass-y tone.

Summergarden · 22/02/2025 16:30

When I read the title I assumed it would be about a strange man trying to get in a car and attack a woman.

Maybe the woman did knock first but it wasn’t heard due to the booming voice over the hands free system?

My DH used to finish off work calls on our driveway on his hands free but I had to tell him to stop as it was so booming and if a window in the house was open even a little bit we could all hear it indoors. I worried it would annoy the neighbours (even though we are detached with quite a bit gap between houses I can well imagine it would be possible) so asked him to stop doing it.

BeaAndBen · 22/02/2025 16:38

I’m guessing hands-free? That is so unbelievably loud outside the car, it’s like the whole car is an amplifier.

A neighbour used to take calls in her car from the GP and I knew every detail of her medical stuff from sitting inside my house. It was so inappropriate!

I spoke about it to her, and she didn’t seem to believe me that it was so loud. So I mentioned hearing the date of her rescheduled cervical smear. She takes her phone off hands free now.

If your daughter was taking calls on hands free late at night, let’s hope she’s got the message and won’t do it again. The neighbour shouldn’t have tried to open the door but your daughter was extremely thoughtless.