High earner partner moved in - CB lost

[WhoevenamIinlife]

Hi everyone just looking for perspectives.
My partner has been living with me covering 50% of bills and rent since day one. Recently has moved to a higher wage bracket which means I am no longer entitled to CB for my children (2 not his).
we initially agreed I would keep the CB and he would pay back the tax bill which I thought was fair as I lost out on other things too ie childcare, single discount council tax and also the fact we have separate finances and it wasn't one pot.
He has since raised it with me after paying the tax bill saying it wasn't fair and he would rather just give me that money for the kids without going through HMRC and thinks I should be more flexible as he pays more when we go out etc, household big shops and he does pay/contribute more which cancels out the CB and was quite offended when I said no I prefer it like this because this is not YOU giving me money this is the CB coming directly to me taking away anyone else's power over it. I have told him when we buy together in future and split bills percentage wise I will just stop the CB as it's no longer needed as we run the household together. Just for clarity partners income is just over 3 x mine but will cover huge costs ie a family trip for 5 abroad all his costs, household repairs. Because I have been financially stung before am I being too overly cautious resulting in being greedy?

AIBU?

@VindiVici that must be an old factsheet as the starting salary to start paying back child benefit is now £60k with it all to be paid back at £80k

But the principle is the same.

A poster was querying a tax return v PAYE. If she's bothered she can find the up to date figures.

So many posters here unaware.

It's the way it works- CB is based on household income.

OP has 2 kids with another father (not with them) and one with her partner.

Depends what you mean by household income though.

As part of a household if 1 person earns above £60k then some needs to be paid back regardless of whether all the children are biologically theirs. If 2 people in a household each earned £50k (total household income £100k) then no CB would need to be paid back

You can tick a box on the CB form saying you don’t want the money but still want the credits towards your state pension entitlement (national insurance). Whatever you decide make sure you keep getting the credits, even without the money.

I mean I don’t have kids so not something I would ever have needed to know.

I just think it’s fascinating as it assumes anybody you live with has a financial obligation to any children in the home.

I wonder if there are exceptions - my friend lives with son and her sister. I wonder if her sister’s income is included as “household income”.

This

How tedious 🥱 Is he your partner or your flatmate? I just don’t understand all this meticulous % splitting of bills with the person you love! I’ve only ever heard of it in MN, never ever in real life.

If I were you, I wouldn’t live together until you decide to get a joint account and pool finances properly. Preferably after getting married. For anyone saying that’s old fashioned, if he’s not good enough to marry and have a joint account with then he’s not the right person so don’t waste your time on him 🤷‍♀️

No, she has a problem with £150 she would recieve directly as an entitlement being replaced by £150 she will recieve basically if her partner feels like it. If one day he decides to stop paying for things they'll manage without holidays. The £150 will at least pay for some essentials.

So she then asks for her CB to be changed from non-payment to payment assuming she's stayed signed up to it on those terms

The greed is shocking 🤯 considering he pays what he does, be careful he doesn't wise up & realise he could probably just move out and be just as well off without the hassle!

I wasn’t querying anything, simply stating why unnecessarily do a tax return when you don’t need to (which he doesn’t if the op stops getting child benefit) and you somehow deduced that I don’t understand.

But she’s not entitled to it, that’s why it needs to be paid back.

they are assessed as a household.

Due to op getting this £150 he needs to pay it to the tax authorities. She is not entitled to make him pay more tax.

Seems very petty and pointless to do this.

Protect your house.
You are unmarried with 3 children.
Your childrens home should remain yours alone.
Never part with it, sell it, or jeopardise it to fund a joint one.
Do not be tempted to sell to fund a joint one.
So often that is hugely regretted on MN.
You are a lower earner.
Your house is your security.

It is your place to be very cautious OP, no matter how nice he is.
I wouldn't rush into marriage either as that would make your home a shared asset I believe.

There is nothing wrong with being bad minded and cautious, you have children to protect.

It's free if you can do it yourself. Most people I know get eg an accountant to do it because it's not straightforward for most people.

It's not just the loss of a benefit though, is it?

If she's on her own when she claims her pension she'll need it to be the full amount

FFS read the thread! Many people have posted that she can be signed up to ensure the national insurance is paid but not collect the CB money, thereby keeping the contributions towards her pension but not making her partner go through the hassle of doing a tax return every year.

If he‘s only just over the limit he can put the extra into his pension to come in just under and you can still claim without penalty. It’s adjusted after pension contributions and charity donations etc