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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have told him 30 mins late to pick me up pissed me off?

130 replies

Ohsoitsokkkk · 21/02/2025 23:46

Boyfriend usually picks me up after work as I moved closer to him and moved in so my my commute is very long, he’s never had an issue of doing this and he’s said multiple times don’t pay for taxis I will get you. He usually does it about twice a week, it’s less than a ten minute drive to my work.

The thing is, he is always late - I can think of at least 4 times this year he has been late. There’s always some issue like traffic jams or his mum rang him etc etc. I have put it down to bad time management and tried to get over it.

Today I asked him to get me at 5pm. He is a teacher so off work this week. He said he would, and that he was going to see his friend who lives close to where I work so would be there on time. I rang him at 5 to 5 saying I had been to the pharmacy and could he pick me up from there instead (a 5 min drive from his friend). He said yes no problem see you soon. It got to 5-15 and I was feeling a little irked but tried to just let it go. At 5-20 he rang me and said “so sorry, I left my phone at my friends so had to drive back and get it and then there was a traffic jam. I’ll be 5 minutes”

He arrived 15 minutes later. I said I was pissed off that he was late and the traffic wasn’t that bad. He said “so you think I left you there intentionally”. I just said yes. He said “fuck this” and sped down the road nearly crashing into another car with me in with him, I told him to slow down.

He said he was doing me a favour and I should be grateful he picked me up. He’s not spoken to me all evening.

I do a lot for him, I pay most bills and lend him quite a bit of money when he needs. I make more than him and buy us nice stuff. I cook every meal.

Aibu?

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 22/02/2025 23:14

Notsuchafattynow · 22/02/2025 16:06

OP, why are you coming back to clarify your opening post, but not acknowledge any other comments?

Denial.

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 23/02/2025 07:16

Yes I agree

DENIAL !!!

PlacidPenelope · 23/02/2025 21:57

Again, you're making an assumption that's incorrect. I don't assume I can turn up when it suits me regardless of the arrangements. I'm always trying to be on time. It just doesn't always work

You're not trying hard enough.

I'm late because there's a mismatch between how long I think things will take and how long they actually take.

Just another excuse.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 24/02/2025 00:19

Speeding angrily to scare you is an enormous red flag.
My ex was a bit like this - I did everything and when I wanted lifts (when pregnant with his child!!!) he always made it into an argument or huge deal.
He ended up walking out just before baby was born and is an enormous headache in my life still.

comeondover · 24/02/2025 11:04

PlacidPenelope · 23/02/2025 21:57

Again, you're making an assumption that's incorrect. I don't assume I can turn up when it suits me regardless of the arrangements. I'm always trying to be on time. It just doesn't always work

You're not trying hard enough.

I'm late because there's a mismatch between how long I think things will take and how long they actually take.

Just another excuse.

Did this post give you a little frisson of superiority? Hmm

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