To not share my inheritance with sibling?

[MoneyFromMyGodmother]

A few years ago, my godmother died and left me some money. Not a huge amount, less than she left her own children but a bit there was also a smaller amount left to my DC (I only have 1) whom GM met multiple times – one of GMs DC is Godparent to my DC. For context until her death I saw GM 2-3 times (both here and where GM lived about 200 miles from me) a year, we video called monthly, and when DC was born GM came to visit us and stayed in a hotel nearby, cooking for us and made DC a toy that they still treasure now.

I have a sibling, who has different godparents to me. To my knowledge sibling has had no contact with their godparents ever. I know at least one of their godparents has also died but they were left nothing.

To me this isn’t my problem, I didn’t expect inheritance from my GM, it was a nice surprise when their DC contacted me and said “Mum left some money for you and (DCs name), can I have the bank details to pay it into?”

My mum, especially, but both parents think it’s unfair and I should split my money between me and sibling and share DCs money with DNs. It would give me half and DC a quarter of what was left to them.

I want to keep it all, but if I do share it, it’ll be mine I share and not DCs (I’ve moved theirs into a 30 day notice access ISA in their name anyway so can’t easily get at it) so I’ll be left with less than 5th of what was left to me.

Like I said it’s not a huge amount, enough for a once in a lifetime holiday, or to clear my debts but not enough to be life changing. Dc received less than me and I will be topping it up before they turn 18 to make it a bit more (once debts are cleared) but it’s still not a huge amount.

If it makes a difference I'm a lone parent (ExH not allowed contact), sibling is married to the other parent of their DC.

AIBU to not share mine and DCs money?

Have they been asking you this whole time? Just tell them you've spent it (even if you haven't).

Of course you don't have to share the money. Your sibling has a different godparent, it's just hard luck. It's the same situation as if a friend had left you money, would you be expected to share that with your sibling as well?

Your mother sounds awful. Stand firm OP.

I defiantly would not share. Aside from anything else, your sibling has a partner, so two of them to provide for their children. Your a single parent, give your child the best start and ignore your parents.

Presumably, then, she'd never ask this of you?

That is my point really.

The money left to your child doesn’t belong to you, so even if you wanted to you couldn’t give that away.

A bit odd to be close to someone who would emotionally blackmail you about something.

This! God, it's not their money. Someone who is now dead wanted you to have this as one of their dying wishes! It's wrong to take that away from you, or the GM.

Share with a sibling? Ridiculous. You're all grown adults. I think your family sound very entitled and they are being very weird.

Not sure OP mentioned time scales but my impression was that this was a bit more recent. (Probate can take months even in straightforward cases and the estate can’t be distributed/settled until it has been, so the person could pass a long time before inheritances are received.)

Sometimes it's just simpler to keep this sort of information of your inheritance to yourself in the first place. Money usually brings out the worst in people who think they are entitled to a chunk.

why don’t you say

GM wanted me to recognise me in her will. I’ve used it to pay off some my detail and take a break, I checked with GM DC:and they said GM would be happy (which she would as she wanted it to go to you)

then move on.

Sibling also has a partner, are they trying to make up to you the lack of parenting support you have?I think having been through abuse and having to parent on your own is a he'll of a lot more unfair, than your sibling getting an inheritance from someone who's nothing to do with you.

But the money has only recently landed, by the sounds of it.

I think this is just one of those things where it seems a bit unfair on your sibling, but that’s life.

if your siblings partner inherited money, would you be given half? No.

if your sibling won the lottery, would you be given half?! No.

If your parents are that bothered they could even it up with provision in their own will. But personally I don’t think this would be fair.

What a weird thing for your mum to have done. Looking up the published will of a deceased friend (presumably they were friends once as she was appointed your godmother) is something I can't imagine doing.

Your brother had no relationship with your deceased godmother. You and your child did. There is no reason in the world to consider giving them a penny. No one is entitled to an inheritance.

Don't spend yours on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday though. It sounds like this will be the biggest windfall of your life as you don't expect any further inheritance. Live on the principle that you should only spend capital on things that will long term increase future income or reduce future living costs.

Your parents sound very unpleasant people OP. If your GM had wanted your DB and his DC to have some of her money then she would have left them some. She didn't, as there was no Godparent relationship.

You are a single parent. You can't divert your DC's money as it's not yours to touch. Use your own inheritance as you wish. If you're confident you can clear the debt yourself without it spiralling then take that holiday and raise a glass of bubbles to your dear GM as you remember her.

Very firmly tell them you're following GMs wishes and you've used the money to pay off debt. The end. If GM had wanted your Dsis to have the money it would have been written in to her will.

Your mother and sibling are bonkers . This is nothing to do with them.
Does your mother ask your sister to share her husband’s income with you to make it fair ??
didn’t think so .

I think if you have debt you should pay it off before going on an expensive holiday . You will be able to save now for the holiday and will be able to thank the GM for not having so much stress.

This won't be possible, as per OP's second post (NB - I disagree with her mum here!):

My mum says it's not fair because my sibling won't even inherit anything as parents have literally nothing to their name - they rent, don't drive, have no money or pensions etc.

Not possible, as wills become public once a grant of probate has been issued. That's how her mum found out. If someone's sufficiently nosy, they'll look it up.