Need a OTT message for a goodbye card to nasty colleague.

[WorkRelatedName]

Posting here for traffic.

For the last 4 years, I have worked with an older male colleague who made my working life hell. Long story short, he would gaslight me, take credit for my work and ideas and put me down at any given opportunity which made him look good to others. He is idolised in our department by some, including our line manager, who at the time, would play down my concerns, even with written evidence and screenshots.

Anyway, he has just announced he is retiring and a card is being sent round the team to sign.

I know if I don't sign it, it will look like he has got to me (which he has), but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of that, so I thought of writing something over the top, that to anyone else reading it when signing it, won't see I'm being sarcastic and already counting down the hours until he goes!

Yes this is probably petty, but I know mumsnet is great for things like this to help me with.

I loathed a colleague who was like teflon in his self esteem.

In his goodbye card, I wrote, "Good riddance, I never liked you anyway, you're dead to me. Hugs and kisses Ninky Nonk."

It was daft enough not to be taken seriously, he laughed out loud, and I got the cathartic release of writing it :D He hugged me bye, and added me on social media that night.

I'm getting too involved in this.

"I can't express fully,
That you are a terrible bully,
So clear your desk, you are a pest,
And I won't miss you - truly"

Yes, the stiff formality will say more than a sarky or faux breezy comment.

I'd just put "Happy birthday" to show how unbothered I am that I didn't even read the card but I'm petty like that 😃

Goodbye!!

“You know I worship the ground that is coming to you, bye”

Just initial it.

I wouldn't give him the headspace this is taking.

If you have to sign it then just your name without a comment is perfectly adequate. Then forget about him.

Only two, everyone else really likes him? I think you should just sign your name and then get on with your life.

I've been in this position before and I told the person with the card that I would prefer not to sign because person X and I have never got on and I would feel like a hypocrite.
They sympathised. Person X had caused me tremendous difficulties.

Tbh op if you don't sign it I don't think it will look like he has got to you, rather you just aren't interested. I think a no signng is the way forward. Treat him with the indifference he deserves.

Be careful though, the people who didn't support you sound of the same ilk.

It’s hard to put into words how much a difference you’ve made to the office/workplace. Hopefully you’ll get the rest you deserve! It’s going to be so different without you around

I'll miss our lovely chats.

The team won't be the same without you.

Sickly sweet but dripping with sarcasm only you will know.

“See you next Tuesday” 🙂

I think not signing would have a greater effect to his ego.

“Your contribution cannot be underestimated”

This is perfect. Or, 'I was very pleased to hear you've decided to retire'

I’d just sign Best wishes, name

But you could go for Wow Retirement! What a cause for celebration …

I would just sign your name with no message. If you write anything with a double meaning, it will probably reflect badly on you, and you are the one who has to go on working there. Eg, if whatever you write is discussed in the office, even by people sympathetic to you, there might be people who overhear and make a mental note of you behaving ungraciously.

It may not be fair but you have to weigh up what's best for your long term benefit, against the satisfaction of sticking it to him before he leaves.

Rise above it OP. It’s very tempting to finally get your say but it’s not worth it. He’s going and that’s all you need to know.

Please don’t leave like a thief in the night,
Take credit where credit is due,
The next time I hand in a project,
I will remind them it’s all down to you.

Which is odd because you won’t have done any of it,
But time revealed who you were long ago,
May your piles be like grapes, and your dandruff like snowdrifts,
I’ll leave a (gas)light on for you, Clive, mind how you go!

(Not AI generated, Peggy’s Poems for all occasions!)

This made me smile!
Either this or just your name & no message! (Sounds like my ex husband!) 😬

Or

i cant believe your leaving us!!

thank fuck for that

Could you spell his name slightly wrongly? Ooo then a light crossthrough and spelled correctly after. Because..... you forgot about him already.

You could also scribble Shit wishes rather than Best wishes and gaslight anyone who queries it.

if you put something PA or sarcastic he has proof he rattled you, just sign your name