Need a OTT message for a goodbye card to nasty colleague.

[WorkRelatedName]

Posting here for traffic.

For the last 4 years, I have worked with an older male colleague who made my working life hell. Long story short, he would gaslight me, take credit for my work and ideas and put me down at any given opportunity which made him look good to others. He is idolised in our department by some, including our line manager, who at the time, would play down my concerns, even with written evidence and screenshots.

Anyway, he has just announced he is retiring and a card is being sent round the team to sign.

I know if I don't sign it, it will look like he has got to me (which he has), but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of that, so I thought of writing something over the top, that to anyone else reading it when signing it, won't see I'm being sarcastic and already counting down the hours until he goes!

Yes this is probably petty, but I know mumsnet is great for things like this to help me with.

"I'll always look at your empty desk and smile..."
"The place just won't be the same without you!"
"Enjoy the card"
"Bye-bye!" (Always sounds like a childlike "off you fuck" to me)

"Have a nice weekend"

My generic email sign-off for cunts wot I hate.

All good things come to those of us who wait.
Don't forget to keep checking that prostate.

Sandra.

Copilot says:
As you embark on this new chapter, remember that the office will feel incredibly... different without you. Your unique approach to teamwork has certainly left an impression on us all. Your unparalleled ability to challenge every idea and your knack for finding faults where no one else would think to look have indeed pushed us to grow in unexpected ways.
Best of luck in your future endeavors—may they bring you the same wonderful experiences we've shared together!

Best of luck to your wife/partner on your retirement.

WorkRelatedName.

"Hope your retirement is as wonderful as you've been to me"

Your retirement is certainly the end of an era..... I’m sure things will be very different around here without you! 🥳

Make good use of emojis

😂

Why sign it at all. Just say you're not signing it and if anyone asks why just say he was awful to you, and you don't want to be party to the fakeness.

A thumbs up and write his name slightly incorrectly

I agree. Your full name, surname as well. Speaks volumes.

Pension time, hooray!

But scrawl the words, overlapping the s and i as much as you dare so it sort of says PENIS.

To Bob,
Enjoy your retirement adventures and always remain unhindered by self-doubt.
😁

Instead of 'retiring', a rhyming word, 'sorry to hear you're dying. Take care'

I wouldn’t sign it

Love it 😂

Regards, WRelatedNames

‘I hope you get the future you deserve.’

Just a breezy Byeee. Name.

The problem is it can sound good inside your head but the truth is you’ll probably end up feeling a bit of a fool. Just your name and nothing else is more than sufficient.

I would fantasize about all the things you'd love to write - this thread is good for that- and then just put 'Best Wishes' . Keep some pennies handy for the collection though!

Dear X, I can’t believe you’re leaving!! It’s been a real experience working with you. Enjoy your retirement. Regards,

Don't be dragged down by someone else's spite. Just sign your name and move on

I'd just put It won't be the same without you and a big smiley face. Nothing you can get in trouble for but will make your point.

Or you could say something that to a nice colleague would be seen as jokey, eg “time for you now to get under your wife’s feet instead of ours!”