Need a OTT message for a goodbye card to nasty colleague.

[WorkRelatedName]

Posting here for traffic.

For the last 4 years, I have worked with an older male colleague who made my working life hell. Long story short, he would gaslight me, take credit for my work and ideas and put me down at any given opportunity which made him look good to others. He is idolised in our department by some, including our line manager, who at the time, would play down my concerns, even with written evidence and screenshots.

Anyway, he has just announced he is retiring and a card is being sent round the team to sign.

I know if I don't sign it, it will look like he has got to me (which he has), but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of that, so I thought of writing something over the top, that to anyone else reading it when signing it, won't see I'm being sarcastic and already counting down the hours until he goes!

Yes this is probably petty, but I know mumsnet is great for things like this to help me with.

I wouldn't sign it and if I had to I'd write 'regards' and your initial.

I would simply write

Regards, your name

Agree - don't sign it.

Years ago I worked with a horrible woman. She was the shop manager, I was assistant manager. She made me miserable.

She finally left, and as assistant manager the onus was on me to arrange a collection and card. I did fuck all.

On her last day, I was on late shift and she hovered around after she finished obviously waiting for something to be handed to her. I just said, "bye then." It took all I had to do that and it's still one of my proudest moments.

I'm not into PA. If I feel a genuine sentiment, I'll write it. If I don't, I won't.

I don't think I would bother signing. So what if he 'knows' he's got to you? He'll also know he's got to you if you write a sarky, PA comment.

I think you've made the right call in not signing - even though some of the suggestions are funny. He's leaving and you don't have to see him again. Who cares what he thinks?

Ohhh that’s no fun!

Maybe just put “Happy Birthday! Have a great day, love X x” always makes me laugh when people do that. Leave it til the end so other people don’t see it 🤣

Surely the ultimate PA workplace term

“Kind Regards,

X”

You're one in a million!

Thank god 🤣

Write: You are one of a kind and the office won’t be the same without you.

Perfect!!! 👌

This has just reminded me of DS1 sending a thank you card to his y1 teacher - who he really disliked, whereas he adored his y1 TA. The TA got a beautifully hand drawn card with lots of lovely words written inside - you could tell he had taken time over it…

Unlike the card for the actual teacher (who to be fair was a miserable bitch that I would have reported to the headmistress if it was later in ds’s education when I was more confident - and I did make sure that they knew not to put ds2 in his class as I would otherwise be withdrawing him from school) - that card got just a square drawn in grey pencil and a ‘from name’ on the inside - no Dear Teacher, no Thank you or colour or effort. I thought it was a very apt card for someone who has made his year so miserable - and given what teachers often say about how having a nice card or thank you at the end of the year is all they need, I hope that it made her stop and think why her card was so different from the one he gave the TA. I doubt she did - but I harboured a little hope as she was such a nasty mean dragon to those who she disliked. And ds’s only crime was to miss the first week of the year with chicken pox - he went back to school with scabs and marks so it was obvious that he hadn’t been away on holiday; we just waited until he was safe to go back but she still grumbled about inconsiderate people not bothering to go back on the first day of term for his whole year with her - and she never did the transition activities with him to help him move into his new class and the new harder working regime, just told him off when he didn’t magically know all the things he had missed out on.

Sounds like your boss was cut from the same cloth; you need a nice small grey square for his card!

Just realised that was a bit longer than I meant it to be - very cathartic! Sorry op

I am so pleased you are retiring

or great you are finally retiring

and spell his name wrong

Misspell his name. Ir if he's called gavin-

Dear Gary,
Exciting times ahead!
Sarah

"Farewell Bob
Short and Generic"

I like it

This is exactly what I would do.

See you next Tuesday 👋

This is beautiful! 👏🏻 👏🏻 Nice work 😂😂

Hope you get all you truly deserve in your new career

"I hope your retirement is as pleasant as you are"

I’ll miss you.

We will never find anyone to work with quite like you....thank god.

Seriously though as much as you want to don't let it look a bad reflection on you. Sorry haven't read your op

Bye Mark! Everyone here knows it’s impossible to underestimate you. Have the retirement you so richly deserve.

[yes there is a real Mark. Grudges are being held]

The message I wrote in a colleagues card (a colleague that I absolutely hated)

“Everyone brings joy, some when they come and some when they leave”

Onwards and upwards

I had this recently. I didn’t sign it. I didn’t care what he thought, he knew I didn’t like him.