Need a OTT message for a goodbye card to nasty colleague.

[WorkRelatedName]

Posting here for traffic.

For the last 4 years, I have worked with an older male colleague who made my working life hell. Long story short, he would gaslight me, take credit for my work and ideas and put me down at any given opportunity which made him look good to others. He is idolised in our department by some, including our line manager, who at the time, would play down my concerns, even with written evidence and screenshots.

Anyway, he has just announced he is retiring and a card is being sent round the team to sign.

I know if I don't sign it, it will look like he has got to me (which he has), but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of that, so I thought of writing something over the top, that to anyone else reading it when signing it, won't see I'm being sarcastic and already counting down the hours until he goes!

Yes this is probably petty, but I know mumsnet is great for things like this to help me with.

Goodbye Trevor, I will always remember you.
(Only works if his name isn't Trevor.)

So disappointed that I will no longer "See you next Tuesday".

I would not sign a card. If you don't wish him well, be honest. If someone asks why, tell them.

@WorkRelatedName thought of another (I could never be this brave)

”RIP Fred -
(Retire in Peace)
cheers
workrelatedname
😃”

I would sign your name with one pen. Then in different writing using a different pen, write the phrase above in small writing in a different place on the card.

Good decision to not sign the card. I hope the others who share your view don't, either.

or @WorkRelatedName use @Angelchick1971 ’s idea - leaving a nice dotted line for him to add the name

Thank you for bringing so much joy to the workplace. By leaving it.

Yup, I think that's the best course of action OP, but thanks for starting this thread because I've had a good old chuckle at so many of the suggestions! 😂

It’s a good decision not to sign the card. On the day that he leaves make sure that you go out for a celebratory treat.

This is fab but too evident 😁

Draw a massive cock on the back of the card.

This made me laugh so much

With a big happy :D smiley face next to it

I'd just sign it.
But I do like the suggestion of drawing a massive cock

You're still working there. I think the happy birthday one is funny but not worth it. Just go super generic. Best wishes/Goodbye/your name.

"Working without you will be a totally different experience."
"The office will be a completely different place without you."
"Wishing you all you deserve"

Who is going to take credit for my work now, Fred?

So pleased to wave you off in to a new chapter, remember to not let the door hit your toxic arse on the way out.. bye!!

It would be so tempting! A proper spunking cock and hairy balls 😄

Finally !!

This.

right decisions to no sign …

or See You Next Time

(Sorry not to) See you next Tuesday

Best wishes, your name

That is what I write on the leaving cards when I don’t have clue who the people are, but feel obliged to sign when handed to me.