Need a OTT message for a goodbye card to nasty colleague.

[WorkRelatedName]

Posting here for traffic.

For the last 4 years, I have worked with an older male colleague who made my working life hell. Long story short, he would gaslight me, take credit for my work and ideas and put me down at any given opportunity which made him look good to others. He is idolised in our department by some, including our line manager, who at the time, would play down my concerns, even with written evidence and screenshots.

Anyway, he has just announced he is retiring and a card is being sent round the team to sign.

I know if I don't sign it, it will look like he has got to me (which he has), but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of that, so I thought of writing something over the top, that to anyone else reading it when signing it, won't see I'm being sarcastic and already counting down the hours until he goes!

Yes this is probably petty, but I know mumsnet is great for things like this to help me with.

"happy birthday!"

Regards
Your name

So pleased for you, and me

Don't sign. Or just write Bye

C U Next Tuesday
Love Lois

I think you’re being pathetic by wanting to do this, being honest. Sign the card “good luck John” or whatever. Keep it short & bland, don’t even leave your name if needed. Definitely don’t say anything that could be considered petty because colleagues will realise. Also don’t refuse to sign the card at all because that will be noticed too.

Regards, JennyTal.

No good wishes expressed but it can't come back to bite you.

This! Perfect 🤣

I once signed a leaving card very formally rather than with just my first name. So it was 'Best wishes, F Wonder' or something similar. I liked this person. It was a complete mistake, like a muscle memory thing, because I was used to signing work stuff - purchase orders, letters and the like - and so my brain went into work mode. A few people commented on it and wondered if there was something behind it and I had to admit it was a mistake and that I felt like a right bloody dick.

So, maybe signing it like this might be an idea, but in your case deliberately!

Second this. Life is too short for this level of bitchy pettiness.

Best Wishes + sign (then move on)

I'm sure everyone wishes you the best of luck! I.e not me though I think you're a twat

Happy birthday is great though or just "bye tom"

Have a great retirement, hope you enjoy it as much as I’ve enjoyed working with you.

This

Goodbye, good riddance!

I think k contrary to what you thought in your OP, you not signing it won't even get noticed. Signing it with a witty/passed aggressive message will show him you got to him (most likely he knows that already though).

Either don't sign or sign yoir name - or just print it.

There We Are Then… (aka twat)onto the next chapter… Happy retirement…

I would just sign it normally and like I am not bothered, maybe, 'Thanks for eveything Jim. Marie.'

I wouldn’t sign it at all, far more pointed and straightforward.

Being serious now, this is the best way to approach this, IMO.

We've all heard of examples in the news where texts from the year dot have been dug up and used to discredit people. It doesn't just happen to famous people either.

As the great Dolly Parton says
‘Don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you.’

As you're asking MN, it's got to be a toss up between:

"Off you pop, cuntychops",

or (as already suggested):

"Go well".

When I was in a similar situation I just signed my name, but then in tiny tiny letters wrote “FUCK OFF” and “WANKER” and “U R A CUNT” inside the big loops other people’s writing a few times. There were lots of other signatures so I like to think of her gradually spotting them over time.

I had very similar once when a colleague who had bullied me horribly went to a new job. I wrote, “I hope your new place make you as welcome as you did for me.”

Perhaps you could go for, “I hope your retirement is a restful as working with you has been.” 😊

Adios