Delivery man using toilet

[Fountofwisdom]

I admit I am a bit of a clean freak at best of times. Can’t bear people wearing shoes inside etc. But really don’t like workmen, etc using my bathroom.

A delivery driver arrived earlier with some kitchen appliances, just delivering, not installing. He asked to use the bathroom and I immediately wanted to say no, as I HATE strangers in my bathroom. But didn’t feel I could refuse.

So he was in bathroom for a minute or so and went on his way. I went in to clean the toilet as I always would, and not only had he used it, but he left a big black pubic hair on the toilet seat 🤮🤮 Absolutely revolting.

Have spent 5 minutes deep cleaning and disinfecting toilet and have put the hand towel in wash because I’m so disgusted.

AIBU to refuse access to my bathroom in future? Or am I over-reacting?

i will have builders in for 2 weeks shortly and obviously they will want to use the bathroom, which I’m not delighted about but can’t be helped. Means I’ll have to clean the toilet every day, but I can’t refuse them using it.

But random delivery men - would you refuse? And what would you say?

Feeling entitled to put someone in their private home in the position of having to say yes or no, instead of managing their own time and visiting facilities available in public, or in a pub / shop. There are plenty of people on here who feel it is unacceptable for a delivery driver to ask.

A builder working on my house - yes.
Delivery driver - no.

But I am central London and there are public loos around... although not as many as there should be.

There are loos everywhere. Supermarkets, public toilets, cafes.

Correct. The hand towel went straight in the wash. And the door handles were disinfected, as well as the toilet.

@Feelinghurt2
@Jc2001

Really? Ginger jokes?

I have refused a delivery driver. He asked if I had a loo he could use, I said no. He was surprised but didn’t say anything. My loo, my choice.
No is a full sentence.

Would you feel different if it was a female district nurse. As opposed to builders?

Workmen will piss up against garden fences/walls/garage doors. I've seen it all. Yes it's a man thing. Never seen a woman urinate in public. Not saying it never happens though.

If someone's in a less populous location there might be none of these things to hand. And public toilets are scarcer than they used to be, and very often locked these days.

Absolutely this.

I know I’m a nasty person for it, but I hate it too. I have a lot of trauma around bathrooms and bathrooms being dirty, don’t want to go into why, but it’s made me really panicky about people using my facilities. A couple of months ago my friend used my loo, it had only just been installed and she left it very very dirty without seeming to notice 😳 It was absolutely awful for me having to clean up after her.

I really feel for you….how did he not notice that massive hair 😕

I'm also wondering if it would have been different if this man had been a GP or something similar.

What can you catch from a toilet seat?

I always sit never hover. Hovering is bad for you and causes drips on the seat and floor.

If, as you surmise, he didn't wash his hands as you didn't hear the tap, why would he have used the towel then?

I think you have OTT anxiety issues around hygiene, and toilets in particular. That's not the delivery man's fault though is it?

Thank you. Delivery drivers can call in at garage/petrol stations where there is often a toilet. Or wait for their lunch break and go to a cafe or pub. Any supermarket has a toilet, etc etc. Plus, I’m absolutely certain they don’t ask men if they can use their toilet, only women. It’s an imposition and it oversteps boundaries.

My friend who has builders next door use her new fence to pee up 😩 it now stinks when she walks down her path.

In shocking news, not everywhere is the same. There are none here. Our council keeps the public ones locked most of the time.
And pubs and shops are not public loos. They are for customers in pubs. Even if people do choose to walk in, use them and walk out, they are still not public loos. A shop may allow use as a courtesy, but they are still not public loos.

I wouldn’t have said no, but we do have a downstairs loo off the hall- I can understand why it would feel invasive if they have to go upstairs.

It’s pretty disrespectful to fail to clean up after yourself if you use someone else’s loo.

This is meant kindly, but if you are having building work done you might need to accept the accompanying mess and hassle. Often they have a portaloo onsite , especially if the water is off , but it does feel invasive to have people working in your home .

That's gross and I hate seeing it myself. They shouldn't do it, it stinks of male privilege apart from anything else, as in 'I'm a man, I can p* where I like.'

But don't you think there might be a bit of a vicious circle going on here, if people are denying them use of their facilities? Obviously not in all cases, but possibly in some.

Exactly. Totally agree. I would also say - I have a close female relative who visits occasionally and who often leaves wee on the seat or on the floor. She’s not elderly or impaired and I don’t know how she doesn’t notice. But I don’t know how to address it with her, so I always have to disinfect after her visit too, including mopping the floor.

But a strange man doing it is really too much, and I hate it.

and the door handles OP 🥴

im far too invested in this thread. 🤣

I would refuse but we live very close to an ASDA store so I would send them there.

Yes, read my first sentance.

Either way, why should a delivery driver ask to use MY loo, rather than the Post Office staff's loo at the local shop, as he's going there anyway?

But random delivery men - would you refuse?

No, because I'm not mean spirited and hate the feeling that I needed the loo and couldn't go.

And what would you say?

I would show them to the loo by the front door and say "here you go"

Not everyone lives somewhere where there are plentiful public loos.

You have a serious problem if you’re this obsessive.

So many people on Mumsnet are normalising hygiene anxiety. Your response is irrational and extreme.