Delivery man using toilet

[Fountofwisdom]

I admit I am a bit of a clean freak at best of times. Can’t bear people wearing shoes inside etc. But really don’t like workmen, etc using my bathroom.

A delivery driver arrived earlier with some kitchen appliances, just delivering, not installing. He asked to use the bathroom and I immediately wanted to say no, as I HATE strangers in my bathroom. But didn’t feel I could refuse.

So he was in bathroom for a minute or so and went on his way. I went in to clean the toilet as I always would, and not only had he used it, but he left a big black pubic hair on the toilet seat 🤮🤮 Absolutely revolting.

Have spent 5 minutes deep cleaning and disinfecting toilet and have put the hand towel in wash because I’m so disgusted.

AIBU to refuse access to my bathroom in future? Or am I over-reacting?

i will have builders in for 2 weeks shortly and obviously they will want to use the bathroom, which I’m not delighted about but can’t be helped. Means I’ll have to clean the toilet every day, but I can’t refuse them using it.

But random delivery men - would you refuse? And what would you say?

cardibach

I don't know what you hope to achieve in your insistent attempts to pathologise the OP. I assume you've never studied basic psychology, but it's getting boring now.

Does your shit not smell then?

Non-issue for me - toilets are there to be used, delivery men are no more disgusting than anyone else. Do you deep clean your toilets every time family members use them?

It doesn't matter what the point was, pubes, germs the cheek of them whatever. The point is regardless of all that is isn't a good idea to let strange blokes have free rein of your personal facilities.
You can't tell by looking at them, sadly.
Just say no.

It’s not normal to have to disinfect your toilet after a friend has used it before you can sit on it.

Missing the point again…

So? Thats. Not. The. Point.

They’re already in the house delivering/working. How does using the loo add to the risk?

The OP says, 'If I have a group of people round, I will not sit on my own toilet until they have all left and then I will disinfect it.'

He walked into OPs flat when she asked him to leave everything at the door.
She didn’t invite him in. In fact she specifically didn’t allow him in.
He was already in the flat, uninvited, when he asked.

How is that acceptable
Or is it OK for everyone to just walk into our spaces when they are told not to.

He also left shitty brown finger marks all over the clean loo paper on the unused part of the roll and didn’t clean the bowl up after so YES, YES, YES if someone knocked again asking I’d say “no I’m not comfortable letting you use our loo, sorry” - and if they shat themselves so be it. An adult tradesperson on a job should have the basic common sense to be able to preempt the need for a toilet without having to knock on doors. He had no idea if I was in or not when he knocked so there was a strong chance he was going to shit himself anyway and if he had it would have been 100% on him, accountability wise and physically.

Yes it is. It’s broader than the delivery man, and the point was never about whether it’s safe to let a work an into the house. It was about toilet use b

She didn’t tell h8m not to. She said he didn’t have to. Look, this guy seems to not have been the most polite person on the face of the earth, but that’s not what the OP was about. It was about the level of panic and cleaning resulting from a hair.

Your priorities are completely arse about face and your pontificating to other women to ignore their own inclination is coming across as more than merely ridiculous. Why so insistent? What do you have to gain from browbeating other women into being kind?

What I find quite bizarre is the level of insistence some people will resort to in their drive urge other women to 'be nice' and to teach them to ignore their own instincts. A man hearing 'yes' when she's said 'no' will absolutely trigger those primeval survival mechanisms - and ignoring her wish not to enter the property with these items when she had said 'no' is precisely why she felt uncomfortable. He entered her property, not only without her permission, but against her expressed wish. You state with such confidence that she was not 'at risk', whereas in fact, you cannot know this.

Whenever I see someone browbeating women in this way to prioritise men's comfort over their own and ignore their instincts, I ask myself precisely what they stand to gain.

Perhaps take a closer look at why you're so eager to pander to men in order to keep this power differential precisely the way it is.

She asked him to leave the things at the doorway, he ignored her and marched in.
Some men get used to doing as they wish. When they are strangers it is absolutely fine to refuse them further access to your home.
I understand people like to be polite and don't like saying no, it is fine to though.

It's about what was written in the OP's own posts. You don't get to selectively interpret those posts and then tell other posters what to see.

It. Wasn’t About. Letting. Him. In.
It was an out panic and mad disinfection because of a hair.
Edit: you don’t know me. If you did you would know suggesting I was ‘pandering to men’ would be utterly hilarious.

I'm in the totally unreasonable brigade, and gently suggest you get some help for your anxiety. He had a wee (we all do it). Yes he left a public hair, so what? Are you completely hair free down there? If you're in a relationship, you come into contact with someone else's public hair all the time! At the most I'd give the seat a wide down and chuck some bleach down.

Yes. It. Was.

You are not the thread police. We can read. We know exactly what the OP's post said.

Read the OP again, slowly. I hope your job doesn't / didn't involve reading comprehension.

'Whenever I see someone browbeating women in this way to prioritise men's comfort over their own and ignore their instincts, I ask myself precisely what they stand to gain.'

Yes it is staggering that the op has been mocked throughout. Why are some women so keen to laugh at other's boundaries and also have no awareness regarding risk. Even in this day and age.

Yes. It said she wants to vomit about a hair and has to deep clean her bathroom because of it. There is nothing in it about whether he should have been in the house.

Doesn't matter! She is allowed her boundaries it isn't up to anyone else to judge or mock.

I'd say she was very sensible trying to keep a strange man at her doorway.

But she did allow him in, how can you say she didn’t specifically let him in?

The OP's point wasn't about whether she should 'be nice' and let him in. It was about him leaving a pube (quelle horreur).