Delivery man using toilet

[Fountofwisdom]

I admit I am a bit of a clean freak at best of times. Can’t bear people wearing shoes inside etc. But really don’t like workmen, etc using my bathroom.

A delivery driver arrived earlier with some kitchen appliances, just delivering, not installing. He asked to use the bathroom and I immediately wanted to say no, as I HATE strangers in my bathroom. But didn’t feel I could refuse.

So he was in bathroom for a minute or so and went on his way. I went in to clean the toilet as I always would, and not only had he used it, but he left a big black pubic hair on the toilet seat 🤮🤮 Absolutely revolting.

Have spent 5 minutes deep cleaning and disinfecting toilet and have put the hand towel in wash because I’m so disgusted.

AIBU to refuse access to my bathroom in future? Or am I over-reacting?

i will have builders in for 2 weeks shortly and obviously they will want to use the bathroom, which I’m not delighted about but can’t be helped. Means I’ll have to clean the toilet every day, but I can’t refuse them using it.

But random delivery men - would you refuse? And what would you say?

Workers are NOT ‘entitled’ to use the toilet in a customer’s home, that’s ridiculous. If you’re in an office or fixed workplace, that’s different. I am very much into cleanliness but I don’t believe it’s a phobia or obsession!

Honestly, I sort of get being houseproud (though it’s not a description I’d apply to myself) but I do t understand getting so upset about normal human activity.

"A distressing condition" - yes, and you do sound pretty distressed. It's not normal to think it's such a big deal to have "a strange man using my toilet". Wouldn't you like to be less bothered by this stuff? Surely it's not making you happy, living like this?

Maybe take some time to think about kindness and inclusivity.

How would you feel if that delivery man had been your father?

How would you feel if somebody was repulsed by you using their toilet?

We all have pubes (please don't DM me if you've waxed yours off).

Are you Matilda Djerf?

It really is. This nasty view of workmen annoys me so much. Without them this country would grind to a halt.

A few years ago, I was working from home and a man who we had hired to trim a tree a couple of weeks before, knocked on the door. When I opened it he was doing a little “desperate for a wee dance” and asked if he could use our loo as he was working locally again, but the people who’d hired him were out. I let him, however, it wasn’t just a wee but the loudest stinkiest bought of diarrhoea I think I’ve ever experienced. We only have a small house and it stank all the rest of day. I also heard every splash, fart, shart and groan. I feel sick just writing about it. Never again, although no one just passing has ever asked since. For builders when we needed.work done we got a portaloo in the garden. They’re used to it and as we only have one loo in one small bathroom it made more sense anyway.

It was a transit van, not a juggernaut. About the size of a Tesco delivery ban, he could have easily parked it in a car park.

If you need to deep clean because someone has used your loo, won’t sit on it when friends and family have used it and want to vomit at the sight of a pube I’d say it fell well into phobia/obsession territory.

You deep-cleaned and disinfected your loo because there was a stray pube on it.

And if you have guests you won't/can't use the loo until you've disinfected it.

I'm honestly not saying this just to put the boot in, and I'm not offering any opinion on whether or not one should let delivery drivers use the facilities, but this is really excessive and, quite seriously, I think you need some professional help.

Not legally entitled, no, but according to the laws of, you know, basic human decency. Going to the loo isn't some sort of hobby that people can just skip for a day if need be, it's a necessity. He doesn't HAVE an office or a fixed workplace, he drives a van - that's his job. He can't switch off his bodily functions.

You believe wrong. Your phobia and obsession leap off the screen with your every post. This isn't normal. And it's making you unhappy. Seriously, think about how you can overcome this, and how much happier you will be when you have. Life will be better. It's worth the effort. But you can't even get started until you drop the denial.

So you would have gladly let him poo his pants?

It’s clear he brought them in as he wanted to use your loo.
If it was down as doorstep delivery then he wasn’t insured to be in your property but Once he was already in, it puts pressure on you to allow him to use the toilet.
He put you in a tricky position that you weren’t comfortable with which is really taking advantage.

I have an idea. Maybe all the people/trolls who are indignantly defending the driver’s right to use any toilet he likes, could send me their address and I can then compile a map and list for any future delivery driver to show them the homes up and down the country where they will be welcomed with open arms to piss on the floor, drop their pubes and shit their guts out. As I see so many of you are very happy to offer that service to all and sundry. 🙂

Thankyou. That is exactly what I realised afterwards. He was very pushy about bringing the smaller items up and into the flat. And no sooner had he put them down, then he asked for the bathroom.

Well yes.
Im thinking I drive between kent and Exeter regularly….anyone off the M3 would be great.
Then there’s Kent to St Andrews….again would love some toilet offers on that route.
I could avoid the public toilets used by the masses then. 😁

Nobody has said all and sundry. Just people who are at your house already on legitimate business.

Why are we trolls because we don’t agree with your batshittery?

Don’t want to know AIBU, then don’t bloody ask and oh what a surprise a drip (piss I assume) feed of he also pissed on the floor, what a surprise 🙄!

I realised that in retrospect. Although delivery drivers often do kindly carry things up to my flat door when they maybe aren’t meant to, but one has never walked straight into the flat before (and I had clearly said to leave it at the doorway.)

Or piss leaver, as it were ....

People on these kind of threads always resort to this argument eventually

It falls down, unfortunately, as a) you didn't say he'd pissed anywhere except the loo, b) it's clear from this thread that many of us wouldn't need the fainting couch if we saw a pube and c) someone shitting their guts out, though unfortunate, is highly likely to be a rare occurrence (and I would also ask if people would really prefer someone to shite themselves than allow the use of their loo, turn the radio up loud, and deploy the air freshener afterwards).

Other workers are not so lucky. On the road all day without access'

I've travelled from one end of the country to the other and I've never yet had to knock on strangers doors to use their facilities.

Stop letting men take the piss!

I’ve never had an issue allowing delivery people/tradesman etc to use the toilet. It’s a basic human need.

The postman does he count? The window cleaner? Maybe the paperboy?

Just be assertive and say no.

I mean - sure the pube is gross, but it's not the end of the world. You were kind and let him use the loo - great. I do think tho op - maybe in the future - it might be easier to refuse because you dont want to/like it. It's your home - you are allowed to do as you please.

You're uncomfortable because you've just had your personal boundaries trampled over, OP. Leave aside all the ridiculous hyperbole about OCD and hygiene; this actually a red herring. What you heard was your gut talking to you and warning you of potential danger. This should always be listened to.

I can't recommend highly enough that you read Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear. The first issue he points to is a man who will not hear the word 'no'. You asked him not to bring the goods into the property - he insisted on doing so. This is a key warning flag. It's done because the man wants something from you - and wants to place you in a position where it will be difficult (or impossible) to refuse it.

On this instance it only resulted in him exercising his 'uman rights (😂) to use your bathroom. On another occasion, his wants might be more sinister. The PP who so confidently states upthread that he 'wasn't a rapist', doesn't in fact know that he wasn't. It's a common crime, not least underreported. Some men are certainly doing it.

I'd strongly urge you to listen to that gut instinct next time - women have it for a reason. Frankly, anyone who urges women to ignore those instincts in the name of 'kindness and inclusivity' can safely be ignored, and as for the handmaiden protestations, yes, these are valid when the objective is always a defence of telling women to 'be nice'.

Screw that noise. Men - any man - who trample over women's boundaries are not good news.