Delivery man using toilet

[Fountofwisdom]

I admit I am a bit of a clean freak at best of times. Can’t bear people wearing shoes inside etc. But really don’t like workmen, etc using my bathroom.

A delivery driver arrived earlier with some kitchen appliances, just delivering, not installing. He asked to use the bathroom and I immediately wanted to say no, as I HATE strangers in my bathroom. But didn’t feel I could refuse.

So he was in bathroom for a minute or so and went on his way. I went in to clean the toilet as I always would, and not only had he used it, but he left a big black pubic hair on the toilet seat 🤮🤮 Absolutely revolting.

Have spent 5 minutes deep cleaning and disinfecting toilet and have put the hand towel in wash because I’m so disgusted.

AIBU to refuse access to my bathroom in future? Or am I over-reacting?

i will have builders in for 2 weeks shortly and obviously they will want to use the bathroom, which I’m not delighted about but can’t be helped. Means I’ll have to clean the toilet every day, but I can’t refuse them using it.

But random delivery men - would you refuse? And what would you say?

OP hasn't told us she has OCD.

OP hasn't told us she has OCD.

I wash the hand towel after anyone else had used it that doesn't live here 🤣

I think it’s likely that anyone so preoccupied with germs/contamination, feels such disgust and is then cleaning a lot, may have OCD. Even if OP doesn’t, this is something someone with OCD may do, so poking fun isn’t great.

OCD is often misdiagnosed or undiagnosed for many years, sometimes for a persons whole life. Laughing at this type of thread doesn’t help the stigma and puts people off seeking help.

All of this. The "handmaiden" accusation is particularly egregious - it crops up whenever there's a debate over doing anything that acknowledges we live in an actual society. Fighting for your right to be a sour misanthrope who thinks other people (especially working-class men, hmm) are dirty is not the feminist flex they think it is.

I have to say no bathroom in any house I've lived in has ever been left in an unacceptable state. Not by my guests, not by male housemates, not by DP, not by workmen. It's bizarre to me to assume anyone, stranger or not, will leave piss and shit everywhere. The only toilets left in a foul state I've ever encountered are public ones which were presumably used by other women.

If I have a group of people round, I will not sit on my own toilet until they have all left and then I will disinfect it.

I just don't think it's my responsibility to provide a loo for someone who will spend a minute or less on my property. Surely they can plan their routes to stop somewhere. I have OCD and would really find it difficult to be okay with.

We are the same 😬

You sound very odd

No. Does OP have OCD?

No

Haha OP! I think the issue is not the man used Ng your toilet, but your obsession with cleanliness! Don't get me wrong, I like things to be clean, but really?

I'm an Airbnb host and you should some of what I have to clean up!!! Gross! But we r all human!! I don't really mind cleaning up other people's normal-level mess!

I'd absolutely let a delivery driver use my loo. I have several friends who used to work as delivery drivers, it's a high-stress low-pay job. The targets they're set are often ridiculous, and there is no time to do a 20-minute round trip to the nearest petrol station to use their loo.

Still a complete stranger though. I didn’t know his name, and for all I know he could have just been helping his mate out casually today. It was a third party delivery van, not an official van from the company supplying the items.

There is a huge Harvester pub literally at the end of the road, the van must have driven past it on the way to mine. Less than 1 min drive.

Pub toilets are meant to be for paying customers only. Yes, if you're subtle and the staff turn a blind eye you can often use them anyway, but you can't really guarantee it.

I don't like going into establishments to use the bathroom if I'm not purchasing something. I think it made sense for him to ask you. Really, it wasn't a big deal.

If I needed the bathroom, I'd hate for someone to refuse me. It's a small act of mercy.

😱

Your comment is ridiculous! You don’t know anything about him, any more than I do. The criminal case I referred to was a ‘trusted employee’ on legitimate business who committed a sexual offence on the customer in her home. How do you know that every stranger who comes to your home is benign? On balance of probability, the occasional one will be a wrong ‘un.

Pub workers truly, honestly don't care, especially not Harvester employees.

Agree. Was having this conversation with a friend recently and cannot believe how uptight people get about this.
It’s a toilet FFS not your best china that they’re asking to use!!

Why is a stranger’s home more acceptable to you?

Poor bloke. He was delivering kitchen appliances, so presumably driving a large lorry. Where do you want him to go? He can’t just nip in to Tesco if he’s driving a HGV. This wouldn’t bother me at all. I’ve had building work done recently and whenever tradesman asked to use the loo I would say ‘yeah of course, but let me make sure my kids have flushed!’ And I’d nip in the bathroom and make sure it was presentable.

You really need help. This is excessive and frankly odd

But OP is not concerned about him being a rapist she’s upset that he could ask to use her lovely loo.