Delivery man using toilet

[Fountofwisdom]

I admit I am a bit of a clean freak at best of times. Can’t bear people wearing shoes inside etc. But really don’t like workmen, etc using my bathroom.

A delivery driver arrived earlier with some kitchen appliances, just delivering, not installing. He asked to use the bathroom and I immediately wanted to say no, as I HATE strangers in my bathroom. But didn’t feel I could refuse.

So he was in bathroom for a minute or so and went on his way. I went in to clean the toilet as I always would, and not only had he used it, but he left a big black pubic hair on the toilet seat 🤮🤮 Absolutely revolting.

Have spent 5 minutes deep cleaning and disinfecting toilet and have put the hand towel in wash because I’m so disgusted.

AIBU to refuse access to my bathroom in future? Or am I over-reacting?

i will have builders in for 2 weeks shortly and obviously they will want to use the bathroom, which I’m not delighted about but can’t be helped. Means I’ll have to clean the toilet every day, but I can’t refuse them using it.

But random delivery men - would you refuse? And what would you say?

Trichomoniasis for a start

People on here are so OTT about their loos. It must be exhausting.

You sound OCD with your reaction. I have to admit I don't like people using my toilet either but I think it's mean to refuse.

I wouldn't refuse. Delivery drivers have very limited access to public toilets. Would you like them to piss in a bottle and toss it on local road? Aka Driver's Tizer.

Many of the regular businesses that drivers deliver to still don't let them use their toilets since covid times. Why?

Not unreasonable to say no. He should arrive at your home desperate for the toilet. That his problem not yours!

I once allowed delivery driver to use my downstairs loo and he pissed all over the floor and seat. Never again

• Shouldnt arrive!!

From the NHS "The parasite is usually spread by having sex without using a condom.
It could also be spread by sharing sex toys if you do not wash them or cover them with a new condom before use.
You do not have to have many sexual partners to catch trichomoniasis. Anyone who's sexually active can catch it and pass it on.
Trichomoniasis is not thought to be passed on through oral or anal sex.
You also cannot pass on trichomoniasis through:

• kissing or hugging
• sharing cups, plates or cutlery
• toilet seats

Dreadful. There was also an ep of ‘24 Hours in Police Custody’ where an engineer went to a vulnerable elderly woman’s home, asked to use the bathroom and then made her go in and hold his penis. The employers said he was a trusted employee, but he eventually admitted it and turned out he had a fetish about elderly women.

So being a ‘trusted employee’ means nothing, anyone coming into your home should be treated with caution.

Hovering over the seat means you are less able to empty your bladder and therefore more likely to get a UTI. My late DM was a hoverer and got a telling off from the nurse for this very reason. You’re more likely to be ill as a result of hovering.

Absolutely. And you'd think we'd be able to exercise that right to decide who enters any area of our home without being called freaks, unkind or mean.

Oh well.

From NIH:

This disease is more common at the period of greatest sexual activity. It was always believed to be a sexually transmitted disease. But, an extensive literature search showed that nonsexual transmission of trichomonas can occur through fomites like towels and toilet seats and from swimming pools.

Disgusting. Blonde ones only

Of course you do not have to do anything in your own home that may cause you distress.
By that argument though, are you suggesting that we go through life not asking others for things we need lest we cause them anxiety and distress?
It's tricky and I don't know what the answer is. Maybe that the asker is polite, that the response is also polite and the asker then doesn't push the issue and cause discomfort.

DH leaves pubes on the toilet and I haven't managed to stop him using it

How far away was a public loo OP? Or a pub etc?

Absolutely terrible to let a delivery man or anyone coming to your house to use your toilet. I can't understand how they dare be asking when there is a perfect patch outside your lawn to wee on.

It's totally objectionable, specially when they left a big black pubic hair on the seat. If it was blond at least, it wouldn't have been so unseemly.

Dreadful experience.

What a ridiculous example to use. The man who used your toilet wasn't a rapist. He just had a wee, during which he inadvertently left a single pube behind. It's nothing. The two situations are so different that it's ludicrous you are conflating them.

If you do, make sure you pay for it!

Well I don’t knock on random peoples doors.

Neither did the delivery person delivering the item.

I just think if the idea of someone using your own toilet is horrifying then people must find public toilets un bearable - hence why I'm asking.

At least you know your own toilet is clean when you use it regardless of anyone else using it!

They don’t have rapist tattooed on their foreheads. How would anyone know……ask them 😳

Pay attention.

They couldn’t give a shit about other people’s property 😩

I wouldn’t refuse anyone the use of a toilet and all those that would just be grateful you don’t have job were you are reliant on public toilets if you need to go. Where I live there are no public toilets apart from one in the local supermarket which is not the easiest to find or cafes and pubs where they all clearly state as being for customers only.
Just because someone is a tradesman, delivery driver, community nurse or whatever doesn’t mean they are never caught short or somehow dirty and not capable of using a toilet and leaving it as they find it and to leave them feeling uncomfortable by refusing their request seems very unkind to me.

OP, DON’T let anyone make you feel that YABU. It was obviously an anxiety-inducing experience, which you endured to help someone out. But given the impact it has on you, you’re well within your rights to refuse in future. Just because that same experience would not have triggered someone else does not make you unreasonable or mean, or any other emotive words being thrown around.

I would really not want a stranger to come into my house, especially in the bathroom. But I think I would not be able to refuse if a person asked me.